
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/7952728.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Fandom:
      Harry_Potter_-_J.K._Rowling
  Relationship:
      Lucius_Malfoy/Harry_Potter
  Additional Tags:
      First_Time, Drama, Unusual_Sexual_Situation
  Collections:
      Ink_Stained_Fingers
  Stats:
      Published: 2003-04-01 Words: 10825
****** Always and Forever ******
by Skye [archived by ISF_Archivist]
Summary
     Harry and Lucius are bound together. Was part of the Beloved enemies
     fest
Notes
     This story was originally archived at Ink_Stained_Fingers, which was
     created in 2002 as a home for Harry Potter slash fiction. To preserve
     the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an
     Open Doors-approved project in January 2015. We e-mailed all authors
     about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached
     everyone. If you are (or know) this author or artist, please contact
     me using the e-mail address at the Ink_Stained_Fingers_collection
     profile.
     Author's notes: Harry’s underage and Lucius is a marshmellow.
Always and Forever




  A/N *= Norwegian. Always and Forever, Touching and Touched.
  A/N 2: Thank you to my wonderful beta Nephir, for a wonderful, fast, job.
  =============================================================================
  Harry hadn't thought that Dumbledore's choice of Defense Professors could get
  any more bizarre than Lockhart, or more dangerous than Quirrell and Moody.
  He'd been wrong. When he'd come to school and seen Lucius Malfoy at the staff
  table he'd seriously considered, for the first time, going back home. After
  all, the Dursley's caged him like an animal and starved him, but at the very
  least they weren't likely to murder him. He had no such assurances when it
  came to the new professor. He didn't care what Dumbledore said, he didn't
  trust the man.
  Harry had to admit, at least to himself, that he was scared to death. Scared
  of Professor Malfoy in a way that he'd never been afraid of anyone before.
  He'd thought Snape was intimdating, but Malfoy disturbed him on so many
  levels that he couldn't begin to sort them out, sort out what he was feeling,
  beyond fear.
  His grades suffered for it of course. Lucius was, surprisingly, not as biased
  toward Slytherin as Snape was, and he certainly did not favor his son. If
  anything good had come of his fathers presence it was that Draco Malfoy no
  longer strutted about, acting as if he owned the school. That Professor
  Malfoy seemed mild in comparison to Professor Snape, did nothing to ease his
  apprehension in his classes, and as a result the boy-who-lived was in real
  danger of failing. Not just doing poorly, but not passing the class that had
  been his strongest for most of his scholastic career.
  He knew the inevitable was coming, and wasn't surprised when the blonde
  professor had quietly held him after class. Ron and Hermione, who knew how
  terrified he was of the man even if he wouldn't admit it to them, had given
  him sympathetic looks but gone on without a backward glance. They liked the
  arrogant bastard. Something that never failed to make him feel betrayed.
  "Mister Potter," the Professor began after the class had filed out leaving
  them alone, Harry feeling extremely vulnerable, "as you must be aware your
  grades in this class are abysmal. Is there some problem that I should be
  aware of?" He was coolly professional as he sat behind his desk, silver
  blonde hair tied back , hands clasped before him.
  "No sir" He squeaked, hating the adolescent crack and the amusement it gave
  his teacher.
  Lucius smirked and raised an eyebrow. "Then I am forced to assume you are
  simply not applying yourself. You must know I am aware that your grades,
  until this year, have been not only satisfactory but exceptional. Therefore,
  it is clearly not a lack of ability, but rather a lack of effort."
  Harry nodded and when Lucius stood he took an involuntary step back.
  {You might want to explore Malfoy's reaction to Harry's obvious fear of him,
  some acknowledgement is called for, even if it is only in his mind only}
  "Very well, I would like you to report to me in this class room Saturday
  morning and plan to stay until you have caught up. I can't have the famous
  Harry Potter failing my class, can I?"
  Harry shook his head silently. "Saturday morning." he confirmed and when
  Professor Malfoy nodded he bolted.
  Once he was gone Lucius sat down behind his desk and pulled the tie from his
  hair and shook it free. He'd have to tell Draco that they wouldn't be able to
  spend the weekend at the Manor. That was sure to be an unpleasant task. The
  boy had been spoiled horribly by Narcissia and her family while he'd been--
  occupied. He'd seen very little of the boy over the past five years, and
  since his mother's death the preceding summer the boy was more than a
  handful. He didn't want to consider how insufferable his child would have
  been without Hogwarts in general and Severus in particular. Ah well, Draco
  would rant and scream and then pout, but he'd live with it. As much as he
  loved his son, he would not be controlled by him, or allow him to jeopardize
  his position here.
  Whether Draco could admit it or not, they both owed too much to Dumbledore
  and Harry to let either down. Without them Voldemort would not only rule the
  Wizarding world, he would have owned them both. That Draco had resented and
  hated the-boy-who-lived was Lucius' fault, for being so fascinated by him and
  the boy's innate strength and innocence. It certainly didn't mean he was
  going to let the boy fail in order to pander his son's fragile ego.
  =============================================================================
  By the time Harry arrived Saturday morning Lucius was considering, quite
  seriously, wringing his only child's lovely neck, and his head was pounding
  ominously. He'd heard some of the younger Slytherin girls speculating that
  Draco was part Veela and he'd snorted to himself. More like part banshee. Not
  literally of course but his shriek was impressive when he was thwarted. He
  was totally unused to his attempts at manipulation failing so completely and
  did not respond well--at all. That his father had cancelled their plans to
  spend the day with Potter had absolutely enraged him. Lucius had offered,
  initially, to allow him to leave with Severus, and when that had been
  rejected simply refused to discuss the manner. Sooner or later, Draco was
  going to have to learn the world was not his to control.
  He, himself, hadn't lost his temper until Draco had informed him, quite
  coolly, that the biggest mistake he'd made in his life was betraying
  Voldemort, and given the chance he would have joined the death-eaters
  himself. Lucius of course did nothing so undignified as screaming but he'd
  quite firmly informed him that his plans and life were his own, and it was
  something he would have to accept. Draco had accused him of being incapable
  of being his own man, and that he always had been and always would be a pawn.
  The boy was determined to be the next Dark Lord, it seemed.
  Lucius, much as he loved his son, would kill him first.
  Given his early morning activities he wasn't in the best frame of mind to be
  working in the Dark Arts, but he'd made his commitments and he intended to
  keep them.
  "Sit down Mister Potter, and tell me the last point you felt confident of the
  subject matter."
  "Honestly? Second year." Harry mumbled before firming his voice up at the
  uplifted brows. "Not much this year honestly, and not a lot after
  unforgivables last year"
  "Well, we aren't that far into the school year. I'm sure you'll be able to
  catch up quickly."
  "Yes sir." He wasn't so sure, but over the next 2 hours he was surprised by
  how much of the information he had absorbed, almost without knowing it.
  Somehow, without the Masters' robes, and without the chaos of class, Lucius
  wasn't quite so intimidating, and he was able to concentrate.
  "Not bad Mister Potter. Why don't we take a break for tea, and then we'll
  work on the practical applications of some of those curses and hexes and
  their counters."
  Harry gulped audibly. More approachable did not make the man approachable. He
  was, however, beginning to realize that part of the intimidation he felt was
  other man's beauty. The girls thought he was part Veela, but it was obvious
  that he wasn't. Just incredibly attractive. He was far too broad to have been
  of Veela stock. In truth, he realized with a jolt, he was attracted to him.
  He'd never been attracted to a man in his life! Hell, he'd rarely been
  attracted to anyone! Oh this was so not good.
  He must have paled because Professor Malfoy's voice interrupted his thoughts.
  "Mister Potter?"
  "What? Sorry. Sure." Harry said sitting uneasily at his desk until the House-
  elf brought up a tea-tray. He wasn't particularly hungry, and picked at his
  food. Lucius wasn't really eating either, but he was drinking his tea, loaded
  with sugar, and rubbing incessantly at his forehead as though it ached. Harry
  wanted to ask if he was ok, but didn't dare.
  After they'd finished and the tray was disposed of Malfoy had cleared the
  room with a charm, the desks moving back along the walls giving them room to
  work.
  They'd barely had time to draw their wands when the room was filled with a
  flash of blindingly intense red light. Harry dropped his wand and covered his
  eyes. The last thing he saw was his professor turn toward the door, then an
  overwhelming buzzing invaded his head and the world tilted and he was losing
  consciousness, sliding from the red glare into soothing darkness.
  =============================================================================
  Before he was even entirely awake he was aware of the unfamiliar feel of a
  large, hard, body stretched out beside him on what had to be a hospital bed.
  He'd only slept with anyone once, and that had been Ginny over the summer.
  They hadn't gotten much further than some necking and kissing before they'd
  simply curled up and fallen asleep in her room. The body beside him certainly
  did not belong to anyone either female or adolescent. That alone made him
  leery of opening his eyes.
  Finally he did and nearly fell out of the bed when he realized he was lying
  against Lucius Malfoy. Why on earth were they sharing a bed? Particularly in
  the hospital wing? The thoughts had only a chance to flit through his
  befuddled brain before Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey, as well as Professor
  Snape, was in the room and looming over him. When he began to get out of bed
  Dumledore stopped him with an upraised hand.
  "What happened?" He asked, hating how plaintive and lost he sounded.
  "Please stay still Harry." Dumbledore said gently, "Once Professor Malfoy is
  awake we will explain."
  It wasn't long before the older man stirred and opened his eyes with a low
  groan. Apparently Harry wasn't the only one suffering from a pounding head.
  "What is going on?" he asked immediately, clearly displeased at being gawked
  at. "And why am I in bed with Mister Potter?"
  "Severus", Dumbledore said in the same soothing tone, "Perhaps you should
  explain."
  "Yes Severus." Lucius snapped, still rubbing at his temples irritably, "Do
  explain."
  Snape waited until both of them had received a pain numbing draught, and
  began, "Your son, Lucius, decided that it would be...amusing to exact revenge
  upon both yourself, and Potter, for his ruined weekend."
  "I'll kill him."
  "Oh do shut up and let me finish."
  Harry blinked owlishly, and then cowered away from Lucius as far as the
  narrow bed would allow.
  "Draco cast a binding spell."
  "He what?"
  "You heard me. He bound you to Potter and vice versa of course.
  Unfortunately, being your child, he did not thoroughly research the spell he
  chose to use. Instead he simply acted, assuming I suppose that magic itself
  would bend itself to his will. He used an obscure, ancient, and most
  decidedly dark, binding."
  "Which one?" Lucius asked voice tight.
  "Alltid og for evig berring eller berrd**" Snape replied tersely.
  Malfoy, if possible, went even paler than normal, until his silvery white
  hair seemed almost honey toned in comparison.
  Harry had quit following sometime back, groggy from pain medication and the
  residual affects of the spell. He hadn't really understood most of what had
  been said anyway, and he certainly hadn't understood the last words from his
  Potions' master.
  When he realized everyone was looking at him, he made the effort to get his
  eyes opened and focused again. "What?" He asked, voice slurred almost beyond
  recognition.
  "He doesn't have much tolerance to pain draughts." Madam Pomfrey said,
  speaking for the first time. "Better let him sleep it off. He won't be able
  to understand much right now anyway."
  Harry was already asleep, Lucius noted, with the faintest hint of amusement.
  Still, this situation was all too dire. Always and Forever Touching and
  Touched.
  What the hell had his son been thinking? He didn't realize he was growling
  softly with each exhalation, until Dumbledore caught his eye, and he forced
  him self to calm down.
  "Where is Draco?"
  "I'll deal with him Lucius." Snape volunteered.
  "I think I have let other people deal with my son for quite long enough,
  thank you. It's early. I'll be back shortly." He said standing, and then
  looked back to see what Harry's reaction was. The boy whimpered, and moved
  forward slightly, looking for him. Lucius turned back, and put his pillow in
  Harry's arms, and the child curled around it and settled.
  For all that they were the same age Harry was younger than Draco. More mature
  in some ways and in many other ways, but undeniably innocent. That his self-
  centered, egotistical, off-spring had done something so incredibly dangerous
  and stupid infuriated him.
  When he found Draco he calmed. The boy's eyes were red rimmed, and it was
  clear that he'd been crying, something he hadn't done since infancy.
  "Draco, what were you thinking son?"
  "I-I-I just wanted to get your attention."
  "Well you certainly succeeded." Lucius said with a slight smile, dropping to
  sit on his son's bed.
  "I didn't mean to. Oh god. I don't like Potter, but ", Draco replied with a
  shudder. Lucius found himself thinking that this disaster may have, at least,
  the benefit of redeeming his son. Shocking some sense into him. He hadn't
  seen this much honest feeling in the boy in years.
  "And you. . ." Draco continued.
  "I'll be ok." Lucius said not unkindly, but firmly, "But we have to deal with
  this. Has Severus explained what you did?"
  Draco nodded, not meeting his eyes. "Then it's something you are going to
  have to learn to live with as much as the rest of us. You don't like Harry
  but he's now, by necessity, going to be around --forever."
  "I-I know" Draco looked up then, confused. "Where is he now?"
  "The bond's new. It'll take time to strengthen and settle. He's still
  unconscious in the hospital ward. He doesn't understand what's happened yet."
  Draco nodded, thoughtfully. More himself, but calmer. As if the storm inside
  him had died, or the sharp edges dulled. "What are you going to do?"
  "Well," Lucius said after a moment. "I obviously can't teach like this. At
  least at the moment. I will probably take Harry to the Manor. I had hoped to
  continue to fill this roll for Albus, but right now, that's just not
  possible."
  "I'm sorry."
  "I know. Enough. The time for apologies is gone, now we need to cope. With
  any luck I can tutor Harry through the remainder of his school work. I'm sure
  the Headmaster will agree to help." Lucius shrugged, "It isn't as though
  money is an issue for us. We have time. Beyond that, I am afraid, we will
  just have to wait and see. "
  "When are you leaving?" Draco asked hesitantly.
  "As soon as Harry wakes up and is fit to apparate, either late tonight or
  early tomorrow."
  Draco briefly looked as though he would protest, but shut his mouth with a
  snap, and nodded. "Can I still come home?"
  "Always, but bring Severus with you. I don't want you traveling alone. Once
  you can apparate legally" Lucius said with the emphasis on legally, "we will
  re-negotiate the terms of your surrender."
  "Yes Father." Draco quipped.
  =============================================================================
  When Harry woke next it was dark and he was wrapped in very strong, very
  warm, arms with an uncomfortable erection pressing incessantly against his
  slacks. He opened his eyes to the sleeping face of his DADA professor. He
  inched backward, trying to free himself from his awkward, and decidedly
  embarrassing, position.
  As soon as he'd shifted surreptitiously the arms around him tightened
  slightly and then released him, and he found himself starring into steel blue
  eyes.
  "Ah good, you're awake." Lucius said in a soft voice, husky with sleep.
  Harry nodded and blushed furiously to the roots of his hair. Thankfully
  Lucius didn't comment. "How much do you remember?"
  "Not a lot." Harry admitted, "Red light, and then waking up. I remember
  people talking but I couldn't really concentrate. I know Draco did something
  to us."
  "That's more than we'd expected you to retain and comprehend. Draco did in
  fact do 'something'. He bound us together. "
  Harry paled.
  "Normally that would be of little consequence", Lucius continued, "but he
  chose a very old, and very obscure Dark Magic."
  Harry paled further.
  Lucius kept talking, "Unfortunately that means that it is permanent and
  unbreakable. It is considered Dark because any attempt at breaking the bond
  or even interfering with it results in insanity."
  Harry turned gray and his eyes widened, but he stayed silent.
  "The bond will ultimately require intimate, physical, contact. Without it, we
  will both become insane, and eventually die." Lucius said gently.
  At his last words Harry began to shake violently. Lucius pulled his
  unresisting, almost catatonic, form into his arms and began to rock gently,
  whispering over and over. "It's going to be alright." Until the small body
  grew still and quiet against him.
  The gentleness of the gesture was surprising, but the intimacy of it was
  shocking and frightening. Eventually, the powerful emotions sweeping through
  Harry burnt out, leaving him feeling empty and hollow, and he just went limp.
  Incapable of even forming coherent thought.
  Lucius was reminded again of the child's utter innocence and vulnerability.
  This situation was, simply, perverse. If he had been disturbed before, he was
  far more so now. God. What on earth was he going to do with the boy, he
  wondered, as he continued to rock slowly. Of course there was only one answer
  to that. Move slowly, stay strong, and do what had to be done to save the
  boy's mind, as well as his own. From what Severus had told him earlier they
  had time. Not a lot of time, but some. Enough to move gradually, and hope the
  boy's resilience would come to the fore and allow him to adjust and adapt.
  Otherwise the very existence of the bond, and the situation itself, would
  break him.
  He considered just telling the boy they were leaving, and going, but the
  child needed a chance to tell his friends good-bye, and while house-elves
  could, and would, move the majority of his possessions, he'd want a chance to
  take some things, like his owl and broom, with him.
  =============================================================================
  Harry went into the Gryffindor tower to collect his broom, while Lucius went
  in search of Hedwig, Ron and Hermione were of course waiting for him.
  "Harry!" Ron exclaimed "Where have you been? They said you were in the
  hospital wing, but wouldn't let us in. Gee mate", he broke off as he took in
  Harry's pale complexion and the dark circles under his eyes," You look like
  horrible!"
  "Ron.", Hermione admonished," Harry'll tell us what's going on. Won't you
  Harry?"
  "I-" He took a deep shuddering breath, "Malfoy bound me to his father. It's
  an old Dark Curse. If you break it you go insane. I'm going away with
  Professor Malfoy so we can deal with it." There, {he thought to himself}
  enough information, nothing too personal, it should hold them.
  Of course Hermione wasn't satisfied with partial answers. "What's the curse
  called?" she said just as Ron growled, "Malfoy--I'll kill him."
  "Don't Ron," Harry said wearily, "it was an accident. Really", He continued
  at Ron's incredulous look, "I'm taking Hedwig. I'll owl and stuff. Oh, I
  don't know the name Hermione. It's in some foreign language I didn't
  understand."
  "You are planning on keeping up with your studies aren't you?"
  Harry smiled fondly, "As if I had a choice. Yes I'm sure I'll graduate on
  time. Look. I gotta go.", he said holding his broom, "Maybe we can work out a
  visit or something, I don't know yet, but I'll write you soon ok?"
  Hermione hugged him briskly and Ron patted him awkwardly on the back. Just as
  he was leaving Ron called out, "Hey, this means you're Malfoy's step-father!
  That could be useful!"
  It had the intended affect of making Harry smile briefly as he stepped
  through the portrait hole.
  The amusement was short-lived. God. He felt like he was going to his death,
  and he could feel himself growing dizzy and nauseated from the increased
  distance from Professor, no--Lucius, he corrected himself. How on earth was
  he supposed to be...intimate? He didn't even know how that worked between two
  men, except that it sounded incredibly painful and backward. Definitely not
  something anyone would want to do. And what about Lucius? He'd been married
  for years to Narcissa. Surely that meant he wasn't interested in men. Not
  that he was a man anyone would be interested in, much less someone like
  Lucius Malfoy.
  He found his ---mate? His mind rebelled at the very thought, waiting for him
  just outside and they walked silently out of the castle and gates before
  Lucius gripped his forearms firmly and apparated away.
  =============================================================================
  That night Lucius sat awake, reading in bed with his hand resting lightly
  against Harry's back The casual contact would put off some of the immediacy
  of intimacy}, but not indefinitely, not even for long. He was seriously
  worried about Potter. The boy had been all but silent for the entire day,
  speaking only when absolutely necessary. He also looked like death warmed
  over. Lucius had seen Death-Eater victims who looked better. Besides not
  speaking, and showing absolutely no interest in his surroundings, he'd been
  utterly submissive. He had done as he'd been told without question, with the
  notable exception of eating. When fed he'd simply stared at his plate. He'd
  gone to sleep at an absurdly early hour, and slept hard and deeply, though
  Lucius suspected he was now awake, but not choosing to move. The unnatural
  submission, in a child he knew to be anything but, was as troubling as the
  lack of appetite and the apathy.
  Lucius Malfoy was no psychologist but neither was he an idiot. The boy was
  depressed-- seriously depressed, as well as frightened. If he didn't rally he
  was going to simply slide away, and there wasn't much he could do to prevent
  it.
  With a sigh he set aside his book, and extinguished the light, before sliding
  down in bed. He was surprised when, tentatively, Harry reached for him. He'd
  kept up the light contact all
  day, Harry never initiating even when it was clear he was becoming ill. That
  particular incident had taught him to be very, very, careful. Harry would be
  unconscious before he noticed more than the slightest ill effects. It seemed
  unlikely that Harry, physically, needed to establish contact, but rather that
  he was simply looking for comfort and closeness.
  When Harry realized he was awake and halted the movement Lucius took the hand
  that had stopped, semi-extended, and pulled him closer, "It's alright."
  "You keep saying that." Harry said his voice thick with emotion.
  "Maybe," Lucius said speaking into the thick unruly hair, "I keep saying it
  because it's the truth or it could be."
  A choked sound escaped Harry, and Lucius couldn't tell if it was a laugh or a
  sob. Probably a bit of both, he thought, "This is so not alright."
  "Not ideal, no." he said speaking slowly, choosing his words carefully. This
  was the first time Harry had expressed any willingness to broach the subject,
  "but it will" he said with slight emphasis "be 'ok'." Lucius, of course, had
  no such assurance, but Harry needed to hear it desperately.
  "I'm scared." Harry said very, very, softly, and Lucius knew how hard those
  words were to say. Harry had faced death over, and over. Stood firm in the
  face of evil. He simply did not admit to fear.
  "I know." Lucius acknowledge simply.
  Harry was rigid in his arms, and had begun to shake again. Fighting tears,
  the older man thought. Stubborn pride was something he could relate to and so
  he simply tightened his grip up when Harry turned around to hide his face
  against his shoulder, breathing unevenly.
  He didn't say anything when he felt his shirt becoming wet, just rubbed
  Harry's back in slow circles, and firmly squashed his body's physical
  reaction to the closeness.
  After a while the tears seemed to stop and Lucius pulled back and pushed up
  on elbow before tipping Harry's face up. There was something innately
  endearing about the wide green eyes and tear stained cheeks. He very slowly,
  very deliberately, lowered his head and brushed his lips softly against
  Harry's. Lips barely meeting and then gone again before Harry could even
  really register what had happened on a conscious level.
  He was surprised when Harry arched his back and whimpered. Surprised was too
  mild a word actually, he was astonished. From the wild fear in the younger
  man's eyes he wasn't the only one. "Shhh" He soothed. "It's the bond."
  Innocent yes, Harry wasn't even familiar with any real level of arousal.
  Gods. How the hell was he supposed to allow this to come to completion
  without resorting to rape? The boy was scared out of his mind of simple
  sensation, the suggestion of what was coming.
  Fortunately Harry seemed to respond to the gentle tone in his voice and
  quieted slightly, though his eyes didn't loose the spark of fear. As much as
  he hated it, Lucius knew he was going to have to push the boy almost
  constantly in order to prevent their mutual insanity and death. Damn it. He'd
  done a lot of things in his life that he wasn't proud of, but nothing had
  ever made him feel quite so monstrous as the knowledge that he was, however
  gently, going to have to force a child into a sexual relationship he simply
  was not ready for. That it was necessary to save the same child, and himself,
  made the situation only marginally more bearable. At least the bond would
  ensure his...interest.
  "Come here." He said quietly but firmly. Harry stiffened but moved back to
  him. "I'm not going to hurt you." He said, deliberately keeping his voice
  pitched low, and he hoped, his tone calming. He wove his fingers into the
  thick hair at the base of the child--`Harry; he corrected mentally, his name
  is Harry'--Harry's neck and kneaded with gentle, but firm pressure until some
  of the tension bled out of him. He slowly lowered his mouth again and this
  time instead of retreating gradually increased the pressure and tugged
  lightly on the hair wrapped around his fingers, until Harry instinctively
  opened his mouth, and he was able to slide his tongue inside. Harry made a
  low sound at the back of his throat and tentatively at first, returned the
  kiss licking at his tongue. Lucius encouraged the contact, staying passive
  for him, allowing the rather endearingly clumsy exploration.
  Lucius reached out slowly and brushed the backs of his fingers across Harry's
  stomach, noting the jump of the muscles. "Are you ok?" He asked softly,
  pulling back just far enough to speak, not wanting to startle him. Under
  better circumstances he would have asked if Harry wanted more intimate
  contact, if he was sure. Unfortunately, they did not have that luxury.
  Breath whispering across his face Harry nodded shakily, and somewhat
  uncertainly. He was shaking again, Lucius noted, equal parts fear and
  arousal. It was a confusing combination at best. Dear Lord, did the boy even
  know what two men did together beyond kissing? Hogwarts didn't exactly have
  sex education, and he'd been raised by Muggles. From what he'd heard, they
  were a rather close minded lot.
  Keeping one hand splayed across the small of Harry's back to steady him, he
  dropped the fingers of his free hand against the hardness between
  surprisingly long legs. Harry jumped and he leaned in to kiss him again and
  yes, he was pushing against him very slightly. "Shhh" he muttered into
  Harry's his mouth. "It's ok."
  Harry was beautiful as he struggled against the completely foreign sensations
  and emotions. Beautiful but so wonderfully, awfully, innocent. Lucius
  flattened his palm against him, pressing his hand against the length of him
  through he fabric of his pajamas. Innocent and hot, he amended, God.
  "Lucius..." Harry whimpered and looked up at him. Hunger, fear and confusion
  in his eyes.
  "It's ok." He repeated as he pushed the pants off slender hips and Harry
  wiggled out of them, helping to get them entirely off.
  Closing his long fingers
  around Harry's hard length he leaned in closer to nuzzle at his neck. Harry
  moaned in response..it almost sounded painful to Lucius.}
  Lucius slid his free hand up and back down Harry's back, using it to guide
  him closer, and Harry buried his face against the side of his neck. "You're
  beautiful...." Lucius murmured.
  Harry followed the gently guiding hand with a barely audible whimper,
  shuddering hard against him when he brushed his thumb across the tip of his
  leaking cock.
  Lucius moved slowly, setting an easy rhythm, gentling him with soft, light
  touches with his free hand. Harry moaned against his neck, and began to
  absently nuzzle at the soft skin there and Lucius shuddered in return. Good
  grief, how could someone so completely innocent and guileless be so utterly
  erotic?
  He had to consciously restrain himself from thrusting forward against him
  when Harry whimpered his name, settling instead for lightly nipping at his
  neck.
  His voice breaking Harry began to repeat him self, saying his name over and
  over as shyness gave way to need and he began to thrust into his fist,
  completely lost in sensation. He was hot and wet and needy in a way Lucius
  only vaguely remembered from his own adolescence.
  "God, Harry." He said and smiled at the strangled groan that escaped Harry in
  response. Apparently Harry enjoyed hearing his name during sex, or maybe it
  was simple reassurance of a voice, an anchor in the sea of the complete
  unknown. None the less he was happy enough to comply.
  "That's it Harry." he said softly tightening his fist up further.
  Harry was gone, shaking convulsively in his arms and biting his neck as
  Lucius' other hand smoothed over his sweat soaked back. He was so close,
  teetering, right on the very edge. "It's ok. Let it go. Just let go. Come for
  me Harry."
  He did. He finally came with a near silent gasp, muscles locking and then
  shaking, and shaking hard, with his face hid in the side of his neck. Lucius
  held him tightly, protectively, as he eased him down, kissing him lightly,
  lips barely grazing his hair, the side of his face, his neck.
  The shaking wasn't stopping. His own arousal was painful but he ignored it,
  at least for the moment. If he had to, he'd take care of it himself, after
  Harry was asleep.
  He muttered a simple cleaning charm and then wove those fingers into the
  sweat darkened hair at the nape of Harry's neck, and gently, firmly, tipped
  his head back to kiss him softly and
  then look at Harry's face. His eyes were glazed when they finally opened, and
  he looked dazed, confused, and not quite aware just yet.
  As the shaking gradually slowed to a stop he could almost see Harry coming
  back from where-ever his mind had flown, "Are you ok?" Lucius asked quietly.
  "Yeah.", Harry smiled wanly, more than a little embarrassed and uncomfortably
  aware of Lucius' own evident arousal, "Um."
  "I'm ok." Lucius said with a rare, genuine, smile.
  Harry, however, had a very well developed sense of fair play and that did not
  include leaving Lucius uncomfortable. He leaned forward and lightly kissed
  the older man and Lucius couldn't hold back the groan. "Harry you don't have
 to do this. Really" he said pushing him back slightly
  "I'm sorry." He blushed and looked contrite "I thought...I don't know what I
  thought, I'm sorry."
  Shit. "No, Harry. No." Lucius said and tenderly cupped his jaw in his hand
  and forced him to look up. "You're beautiful and sexy and I want you, but you
  are under no obligation to reciprocate."
  Harry looked terrified again, but he was nothing if not pragmatic, "I'm going
  to have to sooner or later. Just...I've never done anything like this before
  so...." he blushed again, a veritable whirlwind of emotion, most of them
  conflicting.
  A large part of Luius rebelled at taking advantage of him this way, but he
  firmly squashed the guilt as he undid the drawstring of his sleeping pants
  and shed them along with his boxers one handed, keeping the other on Harry to
  reassure the skittish young man. They had no choice, and they both knew it.
  Without a word he sat up and moved to the edge of the bed, moving Harry to
  stand between his knees. Holding Harry's gaze steadily he ran his hand from
  his wrist to his shoulder and applied even, firm, pressure. Harry understood,
  and panic flashed across his face, as he sank slowly to his knees.
  He tipped Harry's chin up as he stood, moving slowly to avoid startling him.
  He carded his fingers lightly through the unruly mass of hair one handed, the
  other stroking lightly at the sweat dampened throat. Harry's eyes widened in
  genuine terror, at the sight of the his cock at eye level, and he bit his
  lower lip.
  "It's alright Harry." he said softly and Harry relaxed very slightly, and
  looked at him, finally meeting his eyes. Lucius stroked his cheek with the
  back of his hand, and Harry's eyes closed, as his lips parted slightly.
  He had to stop when the wet heat surrounded him. It had been too long. He
  froze, trying to regain control, and brushed his thumbs across Harry's
  cheekbones, soothing and calming them both. He nearly fell when Harry began
  to tentatively to suck, drawing him deeper into his mouth. When he opened his
  eyes again Harry was looking up at him, with wide, bottomless, eyes.
  Lucius had to fight to keep his own eyes from rolling back in his head at the
  sight in front of him. Had he ever been that innocent? He doubted it quite
  seriously. He instructed Harry quietly, figuring that if this was going to be
  a regular occurrence, he may as well let him know what he wanted.
  Eventually, Harry seemed to catch the rhythm of it, and braced himself by
  holding on to Lucius' hips, short nails digging in, the slight sting more of
  a pleasure than a pain.
  He was loosing it. It was everything he could do to hold back, not scare the
  poor child to death, but he wanted to move damn it. He moved forward slowly
  and steadily, until he hit the back of Harry's throat, and groaned quietly.
  Harry, of course, gagged and began to move back. Lucius held him gently but
  firmly, not letting him go as he retreated. "Relax." He ordered softly, and
  Harry's eyes widened even further when he pushed forward again, this time not
  backing off. Harry swallowed with difficulty around the hard shaft in his
  throat. Lucius could feel the tension radiating from him, but Harry was still
  looking at him, green eyes still locked with his, scared to death, but
  trusting him.
  He kept his grip firm, pulled back and pushed forward again, still being
  careful, and checking his speed. The trust meant more to him than anything,
  and he did not want to hurt Harry. He felt almost overwhelmingly protective
  and possessive, as he continued the slow rhythm, pumping in and out of
  Harry's throat.
  Finally he just couldn't hold back anymore and with a low groan and a final,
  sharp thrust he was lost, spilling himself down that hot, wet throat. He sank
  back onto the bed, hand still tangled in Harry's hair, his own hair hanging
  in his face. He pushed his hair out of his way so he could look at Harry.
  Shaking again, or still shaking, kneeling on the carpet, coughing
  sporadically, "Harry?" he asked quietly feeling guilty. This had been fast,
  probably too fast. Harry looked up briefly before turning his attention to
  the carpet again, as though the deep burgundy pile was the most interesting
  thing in the world. Lucius slid off the bed and settled beside him.
  "Are you alright?"
  Harry shook his head silently. No, he was not remotely near alright, Lucius
  realized. The bond was stabilized and secure, at least for the moment, the
  lust it had generated and amplified had faded and left only overwhelming
  emotional turmoil.
  Harry still wouldn't look at him and he honestly thought his heart was going
  to break as he watched the young man , sitting on his heels his head bowed,
  tears dripping silently onto his hands.
  Realizing Harry wasn't prepared to move; he reached up and pulled the
  blankets off the bed onto the floor, and man-handled Harry just enough to get
  him to lean back against the bed and under the cover. His head stayed down,
  and his eyes stayed shut and he cried silently.
  How long they sat there, Lucius had not the slightest idea, but when Harry
  did eventually fall asleep it didn't last long. He woke himself shivering
  violently and with a look of intense resignation he looked at Lucius. He just
  held out his hand and Harry took it and then shifted closer, until he was
  pressed against his arm, put his head on his shoulder, and went back to
  sleep.
  Eventually Lucius picked him up and put him in bed, blankets and and joined
  him, "It'll be ok." He said again, but this time he wasn't trying to convince
  Harry. He was trying to convince himself.
  =============================================================================
  The next day, after breakfast, Lucius retreated to a safe distance, and gave
  Harry the space he could. He was in the same room, and watched him
  surreptitiously, but didn't approach or push. The boy needed time, and while
  time was not something they had in abundance, the intimacy from last night
  would keep the bond from immediately pushing them back together.
  So, for the most of the day he took care of business. Sent one of the house-
  elves to bring Harry's books and clothing from Hogwarts, sent owls to his
  son, Dumbledore and Severus. Paid various bills and other minor manners
  related to the running of a large home. Sent the house elves out to pick up
  food. The house was well equipped with a variety of Muggle entertainments,
  and when Harry decided he was prepared to leave these 2 rooms he'd have
  access to the CD's and DVD's, as well as the grounds, house, and stables.
  Finally, near dusk, he looked up from his work and realized Harry had been
  sitting in the window, looking out over the property without moving for
  several hours. He still hadn't eaten, but Lucius wasn't prepared to push as
  long as he keep taking in fluids. It would be an issue soon, but it wasn't
  just yet.
  "Harry", he said quietly, crossing the room slowly to stand by him and look
  out the same window. The view was truly spectacular from this side of the
  house. It looked out over a broad vista of woodland as well as the lake near
  the edge of the property.
  He dropped a hand on the boy's shoulder, and felt him flinch and then steady,
  "I know this isn't easy for you Harry, but I need you to tell me what's going
  on in your head."
  Harry moved as though to stand, but Lucius stopped him, putting his hands on
  his shoulders. He held him facing out the glass that was slowly becoming
  reflective with descending darkness.
  He rubbed at the boy's neck reflexively, and Harry leaned back into the touch
  like a cat seeking warmth. Feeling the boy relax under his hands was
  surprisingly gratifying. Snape had warned him that the bond would affect his
  personality, at least in relation to Harry. Make him, as the older, stronger,
  and dominant, partner want to shelter, protect, and provide for him, but the
  intensity of it was ... frightening.
  Lucius Malfoy was not unkind, but he was also not, under normal
  circumstances, patient or prone to excessive 'coddling'. Yet all he wanted
  was for Harry to be ok. The bond took two people, and in order to ensure its
  survival, it had to make sure both parties were alive and functional. This
  was apparently how that manifested itself.
  "My life," Harry answered, so long after the question Lucius thought he
  wasn't going to respond, "The future."
  "Ah. Rather weighty material."
  "Yeah, I guess. I mean the bond's just going to get stronger and stronger
  isn't it? Eventually are we going to be joined at the hip? Have to always be
  in physical contact?"
  Lucius shook his head, "No. The reason we need such constant contact now is
  because the level of intimacy is lower. Once fully realized we should be able
  to move and work separately for several hours at a time."
  "So, I could still have a job or something. Be alone sometimes?" Harry asked
  meeting his eyes in the window.
  Lucius nodded, still kneading the boy's shoulders, "If you'd like, though you
  must realize", he said sounding bemused, "you have very little need to work,
  at least for money."
  Harry smiled wearily, "Yeah but everything else I'd thought my life would be,
  when I bothered to think about it, flew out the window. I'd kinda like to
  keep this one for now if you don't mind."
  "It's your life Harry. If you want to work, we'll arrange something once
  you've graduated."
  He paused breifly, "What was it exactly that 'flew out the window', as you so
  eloquently put it?"
  "I dunno. I always thought I'd marry a nice witch, have kids, the house with
  the white picket fence. Hell even marry a Muggle, but have a normal, entirely
  ordinary life. Get old, have grandchildren."
  A terrible thought formed in Lucius' mind then, a realization that shook him
  to his core and explained why Harry was so shaken.
  "You aren't homosexual."
  Harry shook his head ruefully, "I don't know what I was, but I certainly seem
  to be now."
  Harry tipped his head back at the soft sigh from the older man. "It's ok. I
  was having rather,frightening impulses toward you before the curse. Didn't
  much care for them, and they upset me, but they were there."
  Lucius nodded slowly, "You know we can have children. Such things are
  possible with a bit of effort, for wizards. Not yet of course, you're far too
  young, but if children are important to you..."
  "No thank you." Harry dead panned, "Your son is quite enough."
  Lucius threw back his head and laughed. It felt good.
  "Ah yes. You are, essentially, Draco's step-father. That thought had not
  occurred to him when we left. I expect he will find it..."
  "Infuriating" Harry said, chuckling softly, "Poor Draco. Eh, maybe we can
  just go straight to grand-children."
  Harry slid down from the window sill and turned to face the larger man, and
  raised his hands to wrap around Lucius' neck, tangling in the fine silken
  strands. Lucius just looked at him searchingly, and Harry rose on his toes
  and pressed against him to meet his lips.
  Lucius groaned and lowered his head. Harry met the kiss without hesitation,
  opening to him like it was the most natural thing in the world. There was no
  lust, no urgency, just affection and warmth.
  "I'm sorry", Harry said quietly, resting his forehead against Lucius' chest,
  "This is all just... too bizarre."
  "I know. You've done quite well actually." he was stroking the smaller man's
  hair lightly.
  "Not really. Actually I'm not doing well at all. I don't know what I'm
  feeling, and even if I did I wouldn't know if it was me or this", he gestured
  vaguely with a hand, without moving his head, "Thing."
  "Does it matter?"
  "Yeah it kinda does. "Do you know what the worst thing about this is?" Harry
  asked and continued without waiting for a response, "I have this bizarre
  desire to let you take care of me, to just curl up in your arms and never
  leave. I hate it", he finished vehemently.
  "If it helps any, it's because of the Bond. The flip side is I have a strong
  need desire to take care of you."
  Harry snorted and rubbed his face against the wool of Lucius' shirt, inhaling
  the sweet, slightly citrus scent of him, "You're alpha."
  "Perhaps. I could be persuaded to bite your neck and will likely scruff you
  should you become overly insolent, but if you expect me to demand you roll
  onto your back and piddle you're quite mistaken."
  He was rewarded with a faint chuckle before Harry went on, "I can't let that
  happen. I can't just give up my life and be an extension of you."
  "I'm not asking you to." Lucius sounded decidedly offended, "Please remember
  I did not ask for this either."
  There was a brief, not entirely comfortable, silence before the older man
  went on.
  "That does bring us to another point. You are welcome here at any time, and
  of course will, by necessity, spend much of your time here, but you are free
  to make use of the house and grounds. I also had a suit prepared for you
  today. Your things from school are there now. You are free to come and go as
  you please with two exceptions."
  "What are they?" Harry asked meekly. This was the closest to acting like him
  self he'd seen Malfoy since this mess had begun and he was more than a bit
  intimidated.
  "You must keep up with your course work. Headmaster Dumbledore has sent
  lesson plans from Hogwarts with your books and other things. I want you to
  graduate, and on time. It should be possible for you to finish earlier, but I
  will not demand that, only that you not fall behind."
  Harry nodded, "Of course." It was reasonable. Hell, he had no desire to
  graduate late, or worse-not at all.
  "The second condition is that you come here immediately if you feel the need.
  Day or night, if you are uncomfortable, or in anyway affected by the bond,
  come to me."
  Harry looked rather reluctant, or at least unsure, so he continued.
  "This does not affect only you Harry. I assure you that if I am under the
  influence of my son's magical mayhem, I will find you, but it is much more
  likely that you will be affected first. If you become incapacitated and I can
  not find you before I am also incapacitated we will both, quite surely, die"
  "Oh. I guess that does make sense. Ok then. "
  "Good. Now, the house has a rather large variety of Muggle technology. I
  assume you are familiar with it? Good", he said at Harry's nod, "Draco can
  likely help you with anything that gives you difficulty, but I am afraid, for
  the most part, it is beyond my comprehension."
  Harry smirked. Draco helping teach him to play with his toys, oh the irony.
  "There are also riding stables along the northern edge of the property and
  you are welcome to use them, but please make sure you listen to the groom's
  recommendation as to steed. You do not strike me as an experienced
  equestrian."
  "Hardly, but I've always wanted to ride."
  "Well here is your opportunity. Do stay on the grounds and close to the Manor
  until you are more comfortable on horseback."
  Harry nodded, "Anything else I should know, Sir?"
  "Imp. Yes actually. I would appreciate it if you would refrain from freeing
  the house elves. I assure you would not find life here nearly as pleasant
  without them."
  "Jerk." Harry said fondly, "Dobby was at Hogwarts because you sent him there
  and everyone knows it, including Dobby."
  "Yes, but my rage at being repaid for attempting to warn you, while I tried
  to recover that blasted diary, by the loss of one of my servants was quite
  real."
  Harry snorted and paced about, "Can I see my rooms?" He asked sounding very
  much like an eager school boy. He hadn't seen much of the house yet, Lucius
  realized, and now was as good a time as any to give him a tour. He'd need to
  learn his way around or he'd become lost or trapped in one of the wards.
  They set off together, fingers loosely entwined as they left the room,
  neither quite conscious of it.
  =============================================================================
  Harry started the night in his own rooms. The house was impressive, and he
  wasn't at all sure he could make his way about without becoming lost, but
  they were close to Lucius'. What had surprised him most was that the entire
  house wasn't done in Slytherin Green. When he had commented Lucius had looked
  at him rather oddly, but hadn't commented. Lucius left him with his nose
  buried in school work and gone back to his own rooms and Harry had fallen
  asleep at his desk.
  It was, of course, the bond that woke him, or more precisely an intense
  headache with dizziness, and nausea. Before he could even begin to look for
  Lucius he'd stumbled to the bathroom to throw up, and it was several minutes
  before he could get to his feet, brush his teeth, and make his way unsteadily
  down the hall.
  Lucius was still awake, though it was quite late. Something Harry didn't
  quite have the energy to be surprised by.
  Lucius glanced up from his work, and went to him straight away, swinging him
  up and into his arms, and putting them both to bed without preamble. At his
  partner's proximity Harry's head began to clear a bit and he snuggled further
  into the warmth and comfort of the protective embrace.
  "Why didn't you come here sooner?" Lucius asked, his tone carefully neutral.
  "Fell 'sleep." Harry muttered, around a jaw cracking yawn.
  "I can see that." Lucius said, with barely concealed amusement.
  "What time is it?" Harry asked, waking up.
  "About 3:30."
  "Why were you still awake?" there was a pause and then Harry twisted to look
  up at the blonde, "You were waiting up on me." he accused sleepily.
  "Yes." Lucius admitted, before dropping his head to kiss Harry lightly and
  immediately moving to nuzzle along his jaw line, encouraging him to turn his
  head and expose his throat, nipping sharply, and then licking the pale flesh.
  "Lucius?" Harry inquired.
  Lucius looked up and met his eyes. "Can you feel that?" He asked, and
  suddenly Harry could, indeed, feel it. The bond between them was like a
  rubber band stretched too tight, pulling, and ready to snap. "I'm sorry."
  Lucius said softly, apologetically, "I know you're not ready, but we have to
  do this. We're out of time."
  He'd been feeling a growing--tension, for most of the evening, a pull from
  the bond, the need to finish this. He had realized Harry wasn't yet, but knew
  he would, feel the physical affects of separation long before he himself
  would, so he'd left him. Giving the boy as much time as he could, but waiting
  for him to return.
  Harry looked pale, but resolute, "Is it going to hurt?" he whispered.
  "Probably a little, at first." Malfoy answered honestly, "The more relaxed
  you are, the less painful it is, and the pain doesn't last long."
  "Oh. Ok."
  Harry dropped his robes and got back into the bed, and lay on his back
  stiffly, staring at the ceiling. Lucius sighed, took a moment to shed his own
  clothing, and then crawled back in bed. The bond was urging completion, but
  with Harry present the threatening nature of the tension had receded, and was
  replaced by almost overwhelming tenderness, and no small amount of arousal.
  Even Harry was aroused, in spite of his trepidation, but Lucius had no doubt
  without the bond he'd be simply scared.
  He splayed a hand across Harry's chest and brushed lightly over both nipples.
  That he could do that at all, much less easily, drove home, again, how small
  and young Potter was. Bond or not this had to go slow.
  "You know", he said conspiratorially, "this really isn't some Dark, Evil,
  Death-Eater form of torture. Some people," He added with a falsely
  scandalized tone, "Even like it."
  The off hand comment earned him a crooked, shaky, smile. Harry finally
  stopped looking at the ceiling and glanced at his partner. "Isn't this
  strange for you? I mean you haven't said anything at all, but your choice in
  sexual partners can't be geeky kids."
  "Very weird, and no, my sexual preferences don't typically run toward
  children." Lucius admitted, "But neither of us have any choice. I have no way
  of knowing if it is the bond speaking or not, but I do legitimately like
  you."
  "I like you too." Harry said, turning onto his side to look at him.
  "Good." Lucius purred, and gently urged Harry closer, "Now trust me." The
  last was very, very soft. The words breathed directly into Harry's ear,
  causing him to shudder as warm air wafted across his face.
  "Good." Lucius repeated approvingly when Harry relaxed and leaned into him.
  For a long time Lucius simply held him, lightly running his hands from
  shoulder to hip, over and over. He started with just the pads of his
  fingertips dragging across the smooth skin and then gradually adding pressure
  until he was using firm, flat handed strokes.
  He stopped, leaving one hand splayed across the small of Harry'd back just
  above the swell of his buttocks and brought the other up to Harry's jaw as he
  pulled back and leant down to capture the soft lips with his own and bite
  lightly at the full lower lip. Harry moaned into his mouth and opened
  eagerly, thrusting his tongue into the older man's mouth. Gods, he learns
  fast, Lucius thought, as he moaned in response.
  Without breaking the kiss, the older man gently removed Harry's glasses,
  setting them on the table behind him, and then insinuated one of his legs
  between Harry's knees. The nudge of the boy's erection against his thigh was
  encouraging to say the least.
  Harry immediately ground forward against his thigh and his small hands
  tangled in his hair, pulling hard. Harry broke the kiss and leaned his
  forehead against Lucius' chest as he began to pant. A low whimper escaped his
  throat and he pulled his head back and looked up at Lucius with lust clouded
  eyes.
  "Shhh." Lucius said, kissing his forehead. Normally he'd stop and switch
  venues, but he wanted Harry to come now, and take the edge off. Remove some
  of the falsely amplified arousal.
  He pulled Harry closer, pressing against him and Harry came, biting down on
  his shoulder as sticky warmth pooled between them.
  After a quick cleaning spell Lucius rolled Harry, still limp, over onto his
  stomach and poured a large amount of oil onto his hands, straddled the boy's
  thighs, and beginning to work at his shoulders. The tension that had return
  when he was turned over began to ease ,once again, out of his ithe frame
  under Lucius' practiced hands sliding over his flesh with enough pressure to
  force muscles to relax, but not enough to be painful. He used perfect
  precision, so typical of Lucius Malfoy.
  The hands continued their steady progress downward, giving the same attention
  to Harry's round buttocks but didn't linger. Instead Lucius shifted further
  down and continued the sensual massage, down over lightly furred thighs and
  calves before reversing direction and continuing at the same pace.
  By the time he'd made his way all the way back to his shoulder's Harry was
  writhing under his hands, thrusting minutely against the bed, and his own
  arousal was becoming near painful. He ignored it. If the bond had left
  anything unchanged, it was his control.
  He lifted his weight off the boy's legs and then nudged them apart so he
  could kneel between them. All the while he rested his hands on Harry's
  buttocks, kneading the firm muscle, spreading the cheeks briefly before
  letting go and then petting him in long slowly strokes down his back and over
  the curve of his ass several times before turning his attention back to that
  delicious little ass, then stopping to pour generous, almost ridiculous
  amounts of lubricant into his hand.
  Harry grew very still when he probed his cleft and stroked lightly over the
  puckered opening. Lucius rested a hand against his neck, in what he hoped was
  a reassuring touch, as he pushed slowly inward. Thanks to the amount of
  lubrication the digit slid in easily. He could feel Harry tense against him,
  and froze once he was fully inside and waited before beginning to move,
  sliding the finger slowly in and out.
  Once finger soon became two, and the tension lasted just a heartbeat longer,
  but it wasn't until the third finger that Harry seemed truly uncomfortably, a
  strangled whimper escaping him. Lucius held his hand very still but leaned
  forward and lightly nipped the curve of one shoulder as he curved his fingers
  slightly, lightly sliding across Harry's prostrate.
  Harry thrust his hips forward involuntarily and Lucius smiled. "Say hello to
  your prostate Mister Potter."
  Harry couldn't form an articulate reply and didn't even try. Once the muscles
  unclamped from around his hand, and circulation was returned to his fingers
  Lucius continued to stretch and manipulate his flesh, rotating and spreading
  his fingers slightly.
  When the fingers slid free Harry actually moaned. He was close again, and he
  couldn't believe how right it felt to be fulllike that. Never believed
  something that sounded so...well gross, could feel so good.
  When the head of Lucius' cock nudged against the opening, he pushed back,
  very slightly. Lucius wrapped an arm around his stomach, pulling his hips up
  and into alignment and slowly, steadily, began to breech the ring of muscle.
  Harry hissed and tried to pull away from the pain instinctively, Lucius
  tightened his grip. "Relax for me Harry." Lucius purred in a voice a full
  octave deeper than normal.
  Harry huffed out through his nose, forcing his body to relax and accept the
  invasion, Lucius pushed forward again, moving slowly until he was completely
  sheathed. He stopped to allow Harry a chance to adjust, and for himself to
  regain control before he started to, slowly, thrust. Shallowly at first, then
  gradually deepening as the pace accelerated. Harry got his hands under him
  and arched upward into him when he leaned forward, bringing every inch of his
  exposed back into contact with Lucius' chest.
  Lucius knew he was close, and he gripped Harry's renewed erection in a still
  slick hand and began to pump in time with his thrusts. No matter how
  enjoyable this was no matter how earth-shattering wonderful, it couldn't
  last. When Harry began to come into his hand and his ass clenched around him
  Lucius came, filling Harry with his seed, with a low growl pushing itself
  from between clenched teeth.
  Utterly boneless with exhaustion Lucius collapsed, rolling to the side and
  pulling Harry with him. Harry muttered the cleaning charm and with what
  seemed to be an extreme amount of effort rolled over so they were facing one
  another.
  The emotional reaction Lucius had feared was non-existent. Harry looked
  completely debauched, incredibly sleepy, and incredibly beautiful. More
  importantly, he seemed content. Lucius himself was relaxed and more at peace
  than he had been in his lifetime. He felt something deep inside him settle
  and fall into place.
  Harry smiled drowsily up at him and wrapped a strand of hair around his
  finger. Neither man spoke as they drifted to sleep, Harry's hands tangled in
  Lucius' hair, and Lucius' arm draped possessively over Harry's waist.
  =============================================================================
  2 months later
  Christmas at Malfoy Manor rivaled Christmas at Hogwarts for ostentatious
  decoration. Lots of glittery lights and several huge trees. The most notable
  difference was that while the house itself was decorated in perfectly
  reasonable, and tasteful, color schemes, the decorations were all green and
  sliver.
  In defense of the houses decidedly Slytherin decorations, but more
  importantly, in preparation for being utterly surrounded by Slytherins, Harry
  had worn his brightest, red robe, complete with Gryffindor Gold.
  Lucius and Harry were both waiting when their visitors arrived. Severus and
  Draco had spent several weekends here and the decidedly awkward situation had
  become entirely mundane as they'd grown more comfortable with Harry and Harry
  with them and the role he'd been thrust into.
  Snape raised an eyebrow at his choice of clothing and Harry grinned wickedly
  before shouting "Oh Uncle Sevvie!" and launching himself bodily at the man.
  Snape looked horrified and backed away until he met the wall. His prey
  cornered Harry grinned up at him before taking his face between both of his
  hands and kissing him sloppily on the cheek.
  Snape was frozen, arms out to the sides, looking completely and totally silly
  in his shock. Draco saw his chance for retaliation on his Uncle's behalf, and
  he took it.
  "Oh Daddy!" He said stalking toward Harry. Harry turned toward the blonde and
  slapped him soundly on the back of the head knocking his blonde hair in his
  face. Draco just grinned at him with a speculative air.
  "What on earth is wrong with that boy Lucius?" Severus asked his brother in
  law with an uplifted brow.
  "I'm sure I have no idea." The other replied, but smiled slightly, looking to
  where his son and partner were tussling good naturedly over the 'remote' for
  the tele, tele, tele-thing-a-majig. "Does it matter?" He asked more
  seriously.
  Snape just shook his head. "No. I suppose not. Harry's earned the right to be
  happy, as have you my friend."
  "Yes. It would seem my son's unfortunate accident turned out to be not quite
  as unfortunate as we'd anticipated."
  "At the very least neither of you is insane."
  "Are you quite sure about that?" Lucius asked, nodding to the boys. Harry's
  hair was green, and Draco's expensive, elegant, robes had turned an atrocious
  red and gold plaid.
  Snape snorted in mirth "I am never sure if they are going to kill one another
  or not" Lucius admitted
  "Not." Snape said. "You were an only child Lucius, I was not so fortunate.
  They act like siblings."
  Talk between them turned to political and professional concerns and the
  younger men were left to their own devices. Lucius was nearly flattened
  nearly an hour later when he found himself with an arm full of exuberant
  Harry.
  "Problem?" He grunted, staggering backward and into the wall. The boy was
  putting on weight. He'd actually grown a couple of inches as well. Presumably
  in response to a proper diet for the first time in his life.
  "Nope." Harry said kissing him soundly on the lips.
  "Mm. Do I have to see this?" Draco teased. "I'd like to be able to eat
  dinner." Without pausing for a response he went on. "Harry got a bit dizzy.
  Didn't know how much time you'd spent together today so I herded the oaf over
  here. He's bad enough as he is, I don't think I could stand an insane one."
  His tone was acerbic, but he did look concerned
  "We're doing fine Draco" Lucius assured his son. "Though I am going to take
  Harry to bed." When Draco rolled his eyes and glanced at his uncle who was
  miming gagging himself Lucius turned on him. "Well we could forgo the bed if
  you'd prefer. You know, go at it on the parlor rugs."
  "Bed, now!" Snape interrupted, clamping his hand across Draco's mouth before
  he could say anything that would be construed as a challenge.
  "Thank you." Lucius smirked and nodded as he carted his young lover out of
  the room.
  "Were you really dizzy?" He asked quietly as they entered their suite.
  "A bit, but mostly I just wanted a break." Harry said winding his arms around
  Lucius' waist. "And to wish you Merry Christmas in private." he said just
  before kissing the other deeply enough to take both their breath away.
  "Mmm" Lucius mumbled into his mouth, not quite able to pull away when Harry
  held his hair like that.
  "What did you say?" Harry asked, pulling back so the blonde could speak.
  "I said I love you"
  "I know." Harry replied simply. "Always and Forever, touching and touched."
  He said by way of explanation when Lucius looked at him questioning his
  simple acceptance. "I love you too."
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!
ere.'  He stayed back and waited for Jensen to
raise his head and meet his eyes.  He didn't.  'Jensen, you know we're all so
proud of you for what you did and we love you.  We're still family, just like
we always were.'  Jensen shook his head and squeezed Jared's hand harder. 
  Mike moved in slowly and gently took Jensen's chin in his hand and raised his
head to make him look in his eyes.  He swallowed a gasp at the haunted look he
found there, so out of place in his young twenty year old friend's eyes.  Jared
wondered if Mike could see the guilt, the self-loathing, in their depths that
Jared could see when Jensen looked at him.  He wondered if Mike felt as angry
as he did knowing how much those emotions didn't belong there. 
  Jared watched Mike paste a bright smile on his face and hold his friend's
gaze until the green eyes flitted away again.  Mike looked up at Jared,
worriedly, but Jared merely shrugged.  It was a step; Mike had said what needed
to be said and Jared only hoped some of it translated through to the wolf at
his side. 
  'Thanks, Mike, I'm just gonna show Jensen the rest of the territory, maybe
you could join us for dinner at mine tonight?  Would that be alright with you,
Jensen?' The blonde nodded and Jared threw Mike a wide smile.  'Right we'll see
you around eight?'
  'Sure, Alpha, looking forward to it.'  Mike bounded off and Jared watched the
other wolf go.  He continued to show Jensen the rest of his land, pointing out
all the amenities and leisure facilities that they had built.  'You can go
wherever you want to, Jensen, and I'm sure the other wolves would be more than
happy to show you anything you might wanna see. 
  ‘You can go hunting whenever you like and shift at any time but I'd like you
to steer clear of the other pack territories for the time being.  We try to
keep clear of other territories in general, anyway, but Morgan’s caused more
than a little unrest and the other packs are more territorial than they used to
be right now.'  He felt Jensen tense at his old Alpha's name and knew that it
would be a long time before the other man would be able to talk about his
tormentor without discomfort, if ever.
  'Right, I think that's enough for today, you're not quite done healing just
yet.  We'll go back and get supper ready for Mike okay?'  Jensen nodded again.
  ****
  'Um, where do you keep everything, Alpha, and what do you want me to make?  I
can make pretty much anything.  It might not be any good but...'  Jared stopped
Jensen with a hand on his shoulder.
  'Jen, you're not here to cook for me.'  Jensen shifted from one foot to the
other nervously.  Jared noticed Jensen's restlessness and, though he would
rather have cooked for the healing man, he decided that probably wouldn't be
the best idea for Jensen this soon out of his confinement.  'How about we make
something together?  I fancy lasagna, that good with you?'  Jensen looked so
puzzled, and Jared didn't know whether it was because Jared was going to help
or whether it was because he had actually asked Jensen for his opinion on what
they were going to have.  Either way, it broke his heart to see. 
  Finally, Jensen nodded and waited for Jared to get all the ingredients set
up.  Then Jared stepped back and watched Jensen move round the kitchen; he
looked more confident here than Jared had seen him since they rescued him and
Jared could hear him humming Metallica quietly to himself. 
  Jared soon realised that he had been doing more watching than helping and
moved up behind Jensen to ask what he could do.  As soon as Jensen felt Jared
behind him, he dropped the plate of cheese he was holding and it smashed on the
floor sending cheese flying everywhere.  Jared was about to laugh at the mess
they'd made; Jared wasn’t a tidy cook, he always used every single pan he owned
and ended up with more food on the surfaces than in the bowls. 
  But he stopped himself when Jensen dove to the floor grabbing jagged pieces
of china roughly from the floor in an effort to clean up the shards, cutting
his hands up in the process.
  'Oh my God, I'm so sorry, Alpha, I'm such a klutz, I'm so sorry, I'll go out
and get more.  Please, I'm so sorry...'  He kept going until Jared had the
presence of mind to crouch down next to him and grab his hands to stop him from
cutting them open any more on the sharp ceramic edges.
  'Jen, it's okay, it's alright.'  Jared said softly and when he stood up he
brought Jensen up with him.  'Right, you need to sit down at the table, so I
can have a look at your hands okay.'  Jensen looked down at his hands as if he
didn't understand what Jared meant.  When he saw the cuts he just whispered,
biting his lip, 'I'm sorry.'  To Jared, he looked moments away from tears.
  'Jensen, you never have to     apologise    for an accident and you certainly
never have to apologise for hurting yourself, I would just rather you didn’t do
it because I don't like to see you hurt.  Just stay there and I'll get the
first aid kit and we'll have you right as rain in no time?'  Jared squeezed
Jensen's arm reassuringly, Jensen just nodded. 
  Jared left the room and walked to his en-suite on the second floor. 'Shit!' 
He whispered as he opened his bathroom cabinet, if he ever saw Morgan again he
was going to rip him to shreds.  Jared didn't know where it came from but he
felt so protective of the younger wolf and it had pulled at his heart to see
him apologise over and over again like that, slitting his hands open in a
desperate attempt to clean up.  He ran a hand through his long hair and grabbed
the first aid kit.
  Jared walked back to the kitchen to see Jensen sitting in the exact same
position he had left him in, his palms still turned upwards where Jared had
examined them.  Blood was leaking all over the table; the cuts looked deep and
had to hurt like hell but Jensen seemed more upset about the cheese than the
cuts, still staring at the broken china on the floor.  That really didn't bode
well for the state of the man's self-esteem in Jared's opinion if he cared more
about a cheap plate than his own well being.
  'Okay, I'm back, this is going to sting a little, sorry.'  Jensen didn't even
react when Jared put on the antiseptic.  Jared wanted to stitch up the wounds
but he really didn't want to cause Jensen any more pain.  Besides, the wounds
should heal themselves in a couple of days, Jensen being a werewolf and all, so
he just bandaged them up to help ward off any infection. 
  'You're good to go, Jen.  How about I clear this up and you grab some more
cheese from the fridge and we finish this baby off.'  Jensen nodded dumbly and
walked to the fridge to fetch the cheese and began grating it at the table
while Jared carefully picked up the shards of china off the floor and threw
them away.  He cleaned up the cheese and took the new plate of grated cheddar
from the other man.
  'Thanks.'  He sprinkled a good few handfuls of cheese over the top of the
pasta sheets and put the dish into the pre-heated oven and set the timer. 
  'Right, we're all set here.  Jensen can you come into the other room with me
please.'  It wasn't a request and he was glad that Jensen didn't take it as
one.  Jensen followed him as Jared walked into the living room and sat down on
the couch gesturing for Jensen to sit down as well.  Jensen sat as far as
physically possible from Jared, looking down guiltily at his hands. 
  ‘Okay, Jen, we need to talk about what just happened in the kitchen.'  He let
a little of his Alpha tone slip into his voice, making sure Jensen knew that
not talking about this was not an option.
  'I'm sorry, Alpha, I’m just so clumsy and you startled me.'  His eyes
widened, 'Not that it was your fault, I just get lost in my own head sometimes,
it won't happen again, I'm sor..'
  'Jensen, stop!'  Jensen's rambling stopped instantly.  'I'm not mad about the
cheese, God, I drop stuff all the time.  It was an accident, Jen, you know that
right?'  Jensen didn't answer just kept looking at his now shaking hands.  'We
all have accidents, and you're not clumsy.  It was my fault, I shouldn't have
walked up behind you like that and I'm sorry.'  Jensen's head whipped up at
that.
  'No Alpha it was my fault, please...'  Jensen started, his green eyes wide
and pleading.
  'No, Jensen, it was not your fault.  It was my fault.'  The Alpha's tone
became authoritative and Jensen dropped his head and nodded, no-one argued with
their Pack Alpha when they spoke like that.  'I need you to know that it's
alright to make mistakes, Jensen, that's how we learn, and you need to stop
apologising    for every little thing that happens, it's not expected and it's
definitely not necessary for me.  But I also need to know why you apologised
for cutting yourself?'  
  Jensen looked away and didn't answer.  'Jensen?'  There was a slight warning
in his tone that no werewolf could miss, let alone a Beta.
  'I…I...Jeff didn't like it when I got myself hurt, it wasn't allowed.'  He
whispered.  Well that didn't compute with what Jared had seen of Jensen, there
were marks all over him; the burns from the silver alone had taken days to
heal, far longer than most wolf wounds would have.  Jensen answered Jared's
question when he spoke again.  'I was Jeff's to mark, no other marks were
permitted.'  Jared shivered in disgust and Morgan was just lucky he was far
away from him right now. 
  'Well, Jensen, while I don't want you hurt, you don't have to apologise for
any scraps you might get, okay, we all have our tumbles living the way we do,
just make sure you take care of them when you do hurt yourself.'  Jensen nodded
again. 
  Jared heard the knock at the door and Jensen shot up to answer it then looked
at Jared uncertainly.  It was Jared's house after all but it looked like Jensen
was so used to doing everything that he really didn't know what he could do and
what he couldn't anymore.  'You can answer my door, Jen, it's fine.'  Jared
sighed as Jensen left the room.  He really didn't know what he was going to do
with the young werewolf, he just knew he couldn’t give up, he wouldn’t.
  Mike walked in, holding a twelve pack under his arm, and grinned when he saw
Jared on the couch.  'Hey Jay, is that lasagna I smell?'  Jared had all of his
pack call him Jared in his house; ‘Alpha’ was kept for pack business or out in
the territory.   In private, he had always preferred to just be called Jared. 
  'It most certainly is, Mike, Jensen pretty much made it all by himself.  I
was really good at supervising.  It smells awesome.'  Jensen blushed at the
compliment and Jared didn't think he'd ever seen anything more adorable.  With
an effort, he tore his eyes away from the charming Beta and back to Mike to
find the man smirking at him.  'I'll take the beer and put it in the fridge,
I've got a few cold ones to tide us over till this stuff cools down.' 
  Jensen jumped up at the sound of the oven alarm and ran into the kitchen to
take out his creation.  By the time he and Mike had caught up, Jensen had
plated up three lots of lasagna, although his portion was a third of the size
of the other two.  There were, also, only two open beers by the plates. 
  'Oh, I was going to bring it in for you.'  Jensen told them, looking down at
the plates anxiously.
  'No need, Jen, how about you grab yourself another spoonful of pasta there?
 There's plenty to go around.' 
  'Oh no, I can't.'  Jared narrowed his eyes at the Beta wondering what this
was about.
  'Jen, really, you look like you could use a little fattening up.'  Jared
winked at the Beta, trying to keep his advice light hearted.  It was true, the
Beta much thinner than he should be, Jared had seen Jensen’s ribs in starker
definition than he had liked the other day in the bedroom.
  Jensen paled, ran his hand across the back of his neck and put his plate down
on the counter and went to leave the kitchen.  Jared nodded for Mike to go into
the other room and start his dinner as he grabbed Jensen's arm to stop him
leaving.
  'Hey, Jen, why are not taking your dinner in with us?'  Jensen looked
confused at that.  Jared didn't understand how his comment could lead to the
exact opposite of what he had wanted to happen.
  'I thought you were making a point.'  Jensen replied, not meeting Jared’s
eyes, his gaze once again focused on the kitchen floor.
  'About what?'  Jared had been making a point, he wanted Jensen to put on a
few pounds, but that's what he'd said, right?  Clearly that wasn't what Jensen
had heard though.
  'That...that I'm carrying too many extra pounds for a werewolf.  You're
right, I shouldn't eat lasagna anyway, looking the way I do.'  Whenever Jared
thought he couldn’t hate Morgan any more than he already did, Jensen said or
did something that proved him wrong.  Had Jensen not looked in a mirror lately,
or you know ever?  He was easily the best looking man Jared had ever seen, all
this was just crazy.
  He sighed, 'Jen, pick up the lasagna.  I wasn't making fun of you; I honestly
think you need to eat a little more than you do.'  Jensen made a disbelieving
sound.  'Alright Jen, we're going to go upstairs for a minute so I can show you
something.'  Jared put the remaining lasagna and their dishes in the still warm
oven. 
  Jared took Jensen's hand and pulled him along after him towards the stairs. 
'Mike, can you put the DVD in and get it started, Jen and I will be there in a
few minutes.'  Mike nodded and picked up the movie Jared had picked out. 
  On reaching the top of the stairs, Jared led Jensen into his bedroom.  'I
know this is going to make you uncomfortable, Jensen, but I want you to take
your shirt off for me.'  Jensen hesitated then followed the Alpha's wishes but
held the thin fabric close to his chest, covering as much of his body as
possible.  Jared reached out to take the shirt away but Jensen's fingers just
tangled tighter in the fabric.  'Come on, Jen.'  He said softly. 
  Jensen let go and crossed his arms around his body.  That was fine, Jared
could work with that.  He led Jensen over to his full length mirror in the
corner of his room and told Jensen to look at himself in it.  It took a few
long moments for Jensen to open his tightly scrunched up eyes but eventually,
Jensen looked.
  ‘Okay,' he moved Jensen's arms down to his sides and traced the outline of
Jensen's ribs with his finger, 'you see this, Jen, this isn't right.'  He took
Jensen's hand and traced his obvious ribs with it.  Jared stripped off his own
shirt and took Jensen's hand and rubbed it down his own side where there were
no rib indentations.  'This is what it should look like.'  Jensen made a self-
deprecating noise that Jared really didn't like, but he let it go for now.
  Jensen turned around and looked at Jared.  He continued to trace Jared’s side
lightly with his fingertips.  'You are so beautiful.'  He whispered, almost to
himself. 
  Jared lifted Jensen's chin to look him in the eye, 'So are you, Jen, so
beautiful.'  The harsh shake of Jensen's head broke his heart.  Jensen stepped
away letting his hand fall.  Jared hoped he'd made his point but he doubted it
would make much of an impression just yet so he would just have to keep on
making it until Jensen believed him.  Jared picked up his own shirt and
shrugged it back on and handed Jensen his own back.  'Alright, let's go join
Mike and watch that DVD.' 
  He took Jensen by the hand, gradually getting the man used to non-sexual
casual touches again, and sat him down on the couch once they were back
downstairs.  Jared went back into the kitchen and put another spoonful of
lasagna onto Jensen's plate and brought them both out with two beers.  'Here
you go.'  He held the plate and the beer out to Jensen,
  'Oh no, I'm not allowed to drink.'  Jensen bit his lip looking at the beer
Jared was holding out to him.
  'You can if you want, Jen and if you don't, then there's OJ in the fridge.' 
Jensen nodded, took a deep breath and took the beer.  Jared watched Jensen tilt
his head back and take a drink from the bottle.  When Jensen put the beer back
on the table, he turned to Jared.
  'What?'  Only then did Jared realise he'd been staring at the younger wolf. 
  'Nothing.'  Jared said quickly, the man really didn't need Jared hitting on
him right now, no matter how much Jared wanted to.  They both turned back to
the screen; Jared had chosen a comedy, so no violence and no romance, he
thought that it was probably the best choice for Jensen.
  Jared and Mike laughed loudly and made comments throughout the film and Jared
was pleased to see Jensen's lips turn up every now and again as well even if he
remained silent.  Jared subtly moved closer to Jensen during the film and, by
the end of it, Jensen was asleep on his shoulder, snuggled into Jared's side,
unconsciously seeking the warmth of another body in a way that he would never
have allowed himself to if he had been awake. 
  'So, Jay, how's it going?'  Mike asked before taking another swig of his
beer.
  'I don't know, Mike.'  He looked at the man at his side and stroked a hand
through Jensen’s short, dark blonde hair.  'We had a little incident in the
kitchen earlier.  Jen broke a plate and he started apologising like he had just
ended the world or something and he was cutting up his hands trying to pick up
all the shards.  God, it was awful, Mike.  And, earlier, when I told him to get
more lasagna, he thought I was fucking kidding.  Jesus, who does that to
someone, really?'
  'I know, Jay, but Morgan was an evil son of a bitch and he worked real hard
to wear Jen down.  But if there's anyone who can bring him back from this, it's
you.'
  'I hope so Mike.'  He brushed a stray hair off Jensen's forehead, 'I just
want to make him happy again, ya know.'  Mike just smiled and nodded.
  'Well I better be going, Jared, Sandy's not gonna be too happy if I'm back
after midnight and, believe me, for someone so tiny she packs one hell of a
punch.'  Jared chuckled, he and Sandy had been friends since they were pups
and, yeah, he knew she hit a lot harder than she looked like she could.
  'See you later, Mike, and thanks for coming over tonight.'
  'It's cool Jay, and, just remember these things take time but we'll get him
back, I know it.'  With that, Mike walked out into the night. 
  Jared turned and watched the sleeping man on the couch for a moment; he
looked so peaceful now, no frown marring his stunning face, no worried look in
his eyes, he looked truly at ease for once.  Jared picked up the smaller wolf,
unable to stop himself from breathing in the other man’s scent, and put him to
bed in the guest room.  He leaned down and kissed the man's brow before leaving
for his own bed.



***** Chapter Seven. *****
Chapter Notes
     Soundtrack to Chapter Seven: Matt Nathanson- ‘Illusions.’ I thought
     this was kind of perfect for how Jared might think of Jensen and how
     he wants to be there for him.
__ Chapter_Seven.__
__Jared.__
  Jensen was in the kitchen singing quietly to himself.  The young man's voice
was deep and smooth and Jared really didn't want to stop it but he felt wrong
just watching when Jensen was unaware of his presence.  He made sure to scuff
his shoes on the floor as he entered the room; Jensen clearly didn't like to be
surprised, he liked to hear what was coming.  Jensen froze as soon as he heard
the sound and sniffed the air before relaxing and turning around with a
hesitant smile on his face. 
  'Alpha, I didn't know where you were so I made breakfast.  I, um, didn't know
what you wanted so I made everything.'  Jared raised an eyebrow as Jensen
pointed to the oven.  He opened the door to find a stack of pancakes, eggs and
bacon and warm rolls sitting inside.  Add that to the waffles Jensen was
currently making and they had a feast.
  'This is great, Jen, but you really didn't need to do all this.'  He smiled
down at the younger wolf.  Jensen’s own smile faltered and Jared mentally
kicked himself for causing it.
  'I, uh, I wanted to do it for you.  If it's not right, I could...I
just...next time, maybe you could tell me the night before so I can get it
right. I'm sorr..'
  ‘No, Jen, you have nothing to be sorry for, that came out all wrong.  You've
done nothing wrong, as I said, this is fantastic but we only really need one
thing for breakfast.  Next time, you make whatever you want to have and I'll
just have whatever you had okay?'  Jared suggested.  That seemed to be a pretty
logical way of working things, since it meant Jensen could still cook like he
wanted to, or felt he needed to, but also meant Jensen had to make a choice
about what hewanted as well.
  'But what if...'
  'Whatever you want is fine, Jen.'  He wanted to tell Jensen that he didn't
ever have to make breakfast for him, that he should just make his own, but
Jensen really did appear to like cooking so Jared was happy to let him do it
whenever possible.  Jensen was so relaxed in the kitchen that Jared felt he
would be doing more harm than good taking that away from him.
  'Okay.  What do you want first?'  Jensen grinned at him again and everything
was right in Jared's world. 
  ****
  They had a few good days after that.  Jensen didn't leave the house but he
and Jared made and ate all their meals together and Jensen had even started
talking more.  If they were watching a movie, Jensen would comment on what was
going on and he even shouted at a bad referee call once when they’d been
watching a football game together. 
  Still, Jared thought it was time to get Jensen outside again, after all
Jensen was a werewolf and he, himself, was starting to get a little cabin fever
from staying inside so long.  From what Jared understood, Jensen had spent most
of his time indoors when he was with the Morgan Pack but his natural wolf
instincts must have been making him restless, especially with his new found
freedom in Jared's Pack.
  'How about we go out for a picnic today, Jen?'  At Jensen's apprehensive look
he added, 'It's a really secluded spot, we won't have to see anyone but we
could get some fresh air and get out into the woods for a bit.'
  Jensen brightened at that and smiled at Jared, causing Jared’s heart to skip
a beat.  Jared sighed internally, that smile was going to be the death of him. 
‘Sure Alpha, that sounds great.'  Jensen went into the kitchen and started to
pack up some lunch supplies while Jared went to grab a couple of blankets from
his room.
  'All good to go?'  Jared asked when he came back down.
  'Yep, Alpha, good to go.'  Jared hadn't managed to get Jensen to call him
Jared yet but he was sure he would in time.  He could already see the younger
man coming out of his shell more and more at the small acts of kindness he saw
in Jared's house. 
  Jared took them to one of the lakes about ten miles from the pack boundary. 
It was free territory and it was one of his favourite places to go when he
needed time to think.  He left Chad in charge of the pack whilst he was gone
and they weren't far, especially in wolf form, if something happened. 
  There was a waterfall cascading into the lake and the sunlight shone off the
vast, open water like mirrored glass.
  'Alpha, this is beautiful.  I've never seen anything like it.'  Jensen said
in awe.
  'I've been coming here since I was a kid; it's a great place to think.'  They
sat down on the bank on the blankets and opened the basket. 
  Having eaten their sandwiches they laid back and stared at the vast blue sky
streaked with     wispy,    white clouds.
  'There was this waterhole when we were young, and Mike, Tom, Alona and I
spent so much freaking time there.  It was like our own little world, no-one
else ever came out there, I'm not sure if anyone else even knew it was there. 
One day, a wolf from another pack came along and was circling Alona; she was
seventeen, I think, and the guy was thinking about trying to mate with her.  As
soon as he came close enough, he kind of leapt at her and she just brought up
her hand and punched him in the nose.  He was so stunned that he stumbled back
and fell into the lake. 
  ‘We were laughing so hard, the guy turned bright red and ran back off into
the woods.  She always was a firecracker and just because she was a Beta didn't
mean she wasn't kickass.  I think the guy learned a lesson about Betas that
day.'  Jared chuckled, he had gotten to know Alona over the last couple of
weeks and a push over she certainly was not.  Jensen rarely talked about his
past, but when he did, Jared could hear the happiness in voice, remembering the
better times of his childhood.
  'God, you guys sound like me.  Sandy and I used to come up here all the time
and hang out just to get away from everything.  Everyone, including our
parents, expected us to mate but it was never like that with us.'
  Jensen turned on his side to look at Jared, 'Why not?'
  Jared shrugged, 'She was my best friend, more like a sister really, and we
just didn't feel it.'
  'Feel what?'
  'That bond that mates feel.'  Jensen looked confused so Jared continued, a
smile forming on his face as he spoke.  'It's like electricity.  It's like when
you see your mate, your one, a spark passes up your spine and your whole body
is on fire just to touch them, to be close to them.'
  'Wow, that sounds amazing.  You sound like you know from experience, who is
it, have I met them?'  Jensen asked, still looking at Jared.
  Jared’s smile grew, 'Yeah, you know them Jensen.'  He didn't mention that it
was Jensen that made him feel like that, clearly Jensen hadn't felt the bond
yet and Jared wasn't going to push him. 
  'God, they must be really special if they're your mate.'  Jensen settled back
with his arms behind his head acting as a pillow. 'Wait, why haven't you mated
yet then, if you know who it is?'
  'Because they're not ready so I'm giving them time to get used to the idea
first.'
  Jensen laughed, incredulous.  'Any wolf would be lucky to have you as their
Alpha, I'm pretty sure they won't need time to think about it.'
  'Perhaps, but I don't want to ruin this and I don't mind waiting.  I'll wait
forever if I have to.'  Jared said earnestly.
  Jensen just smiled and closed his eyes, letting the sun fall on his face. 
Jared knew that Jensen didn't know he was the wolf Jared was talking about but
he hoped he conveyed the view of matings in his pack; that they were mutual
acts of love and friendship and never forced.  He felt he had. 
  ****
  Jared woke Jensen up with a splash of water onto his face.  'Hey!'  Jensen
spluttered.
  'Come on in Jen, the water's great.'  He called.
  'I…I didn't bring any shorts.'  Jensen stuttered back, clearly reluctant to
come into the lake with Jared and Jared knew why.
  'Under the blankets, I brought you a pair of mine.'  He had been prepared for
all manner of excuses that Jensen would drum up for not being able to go
swimming.
  'Um.'  Jensen fidgeted from one foot to the other holding the shorts in his
hand.  'Okay?'
  'You can change behind those bushes over there.'  Jared called out before
diving under the water again.  Jensen walked off and ten minutes later came
back in the shorts, still wearing his T-shirt and holding his jeans in front of
him.  He carefully put the jeans down and made his way over to the water.
  'Jen, you need to lose the shirt, dude.'  Jared knew Jensen was self-
conscious but Jared needed to get him at ease with his own body again, as
slowly as was necessary, and since they were the only ones here Jared thought
it was a good time to start.
  'But I…'  Jensen shook his head and rubbed a hand across the back of his
neck, a nervous habit earned from wearing a silver collar for so many years,
Jared assumed. 
  'Well, I suppose you could wear it but then it’ll be wet when we go back to
the territory and you’ll have to walk shirtless to the house.  Your choice
though.'  Jared knew it was a little mean but he needed Jensen to be with him
on this one if they were going to move forward.  Hesitantly, Jensen grabbed the
hem of his T-shirt, looked around quickly, and pulled it over his head,
dropping it to the floor next to his jeans.
  Jared's breath caught in his throat, three square meals a day and time in
Jared's home gym had done wonders for Jensen's physique.  He had been in great
shape when he had come to stay with Jared but now his ribs were less pronounced
and arms had begun to fill out with some much needed pounds.  Jensen walked
quickly into the water finding a place where he could stand but which only left
his head above the surface.
  Jared wasn't sure how to go about this, had it been Sandy or Chad he would've
just tackled them under the water but he didn't think Jensen would react well
to that.  He was, therefore, shocked when Jensen went under the water and came
up again to splash him in the face.  Jared went from stunned to elated when he
saw the mischievous look in Jensen's eyes and the water fight that ensued left
them both breathless and laughing. 
  They got out of the water and sat on the bank; Jensen rapidly dried himself
off, facing away from Jared and slipped his shirt back on.  Jared didn't bother
and just waited for the sun's rays to dry him off as he usually did on hot
days.  They went back to lying next to each other in comfortable silence, just
enjoying the moment and each other’s presence.  Jared noted how strange that
was for him since he was never normally happy when he wasn't talking or doing
something but, with Jensen, he felt a new calm come over himself and he was
able to just savour the moment of being here with the other man.  He felt
content.  Jensen's quiet voice drew him out of his reverie.
  'Thank you, Alpha. I don't know how to...I just...thank you.'  Jared knew
Jensen meant for more than just that day, they both knew what Jensen's life had
been like before and what would have happened if Jared had left Jensen with
Morgan.
  Jared grabbed Jensen's hand, feeling the now familiar tingle spread up his
arm at the contact, and squeezed it, 'Nothing to thank me for.  And you can
call me Jared when it's just the two of us or if we're at home.'  Home, he
probably shouldn't refer to the house like that in front of Jensen, it wasn't
Jensen's home until he chose it to be, and the young man probably had no idea
how much Jared wanted him to stay.  He smiled, though, when Jensen didn't
correct him or let go of his hand.
  'Alright, Jared.'  As much as Jared's wolf loved it when Jensen called him
Alpha, Jared, the man, needed to establish that level of familiarity between
himself and Jensen before he tried to move their relationship forward. 


***** Chapter Eight. *****
Chapter Notes
     Soundtrack to Chapter Eight: The Goo Goo Dolls- ‘Iris.’ This was
     chosen more for the end of the chapter when the shift occurs but it
     does apply pretty much the whole way through the story for describing
     the way Jared feels about Jensen.
_ Chapter_Eight._
_Jared._
 Jared wasn't sure of the best way to get Jensen out into the pack, he knew it
wasn't going to be something that Jensen wanted to do; Jared was pretty sure
the Beta would have been happy to spend the rest of his days closeted up in
Jared's house.  But that wouldn't do.  Jensen had too much to offer the world
to be locked away from it, he’d spent years out of it and now the world wanted
him back, even if Jared, himself, could see some advantages of having the Beta
all to himself. 
 Jared thought the best way to go about this was to get Jensen to think that he
was doing Jared a favour by getting out of the house.  So, the first day he
suggested Jensen leave the house, he set him up with a job in the local shop
stacking the shelves.  Everyone in the pack had a job and, whilst he was sure
that this wasn't going to be the one that Jensen would end up with, he thought
it would be a good way for Jensen to get used to being around other members of
the pack without having Jared at his side. 
 Jared would be close by, of course; he planned to stay in the manager's office
with Mike the entire time that Jensen was there so that if Jensen became
overwhelmed or distressed, at any point, he could come and find Jared and he'd
take the younger wolf home. It was another bonus that Mike ran the shop so
Jensen would have another familiar face in the unfamiliar surroundings. 
Determined, Jared went into Jensen's room, knocking before he was admitted,
 'Hey Jen, I've got a favour to ask.'
 'Anything, Alpha.'  The ‘Alphas’ still sometimes slipped in without Jensen
noticing, but the times were becoming fewer as Jensen became more settled in
Jared's presence.
 'Someone's called in sick at Mike's shop and I really need someone to cover
the shift, do you think you could do that for me?'  Jared felt the little white
lie was    forgivable    since the whole exercise was to help Jensen in the
end.  Jensen bit his lip, and looked down at his hands, folded tightly together
in his lap.  Jared could almost hear the argument going on in the younger
wolf's head; he didn't really like to push Jensen but he felt that it was
necessary, in this case, so he let Jensen sort through this one himself.
 'What do I...will there by lots of people there?'  Jensen asked quietly, and
Jared hated the quiver he heard in Jensen's voice.
 'Well it's the local shop, Jen, so there will be people trickling in
throughout the day but it’s small so there won’t be too many at once.  I only
need you to stay for a couple of hours at most and I'll be there the whole
time; I need to talk to Mike about some of the shipments for this week.'  He
placed what he hoped was a reassuring hand on Jensen jiggling knee to stop the
movement.  It did.
 'You will?'  The hopeful, almost pleading, tone in Jensen's voice broke
Jared's heart and he wanted to add that he would always be there for the wolf
if Jensen wanted him to be. 
 'I will.'  Jared nodded, sensing victory.
 'Ok, Alpha.'  Jensen's jaw set, determined.  'What do I have to do?'
 *****
 Two hours in and Jensen was doing a great job; his meticulous and efficient
nature meant that he worked at a rate about three times that of the other shop
assistants Mike usually had in store.  Jensen did get nervous every time
someone spoke to him, though, his eyes dropping to the ground instantly, but he
still helped them out, just as Jared had asked him to do.  It was pretty
remarkable actually, in Jared's opinion, and Mike was clearly impressed to. 
Despite his discomfort, Jensen seemed to be determined to do the best job he
could for Jared and for the pack.  It made Jared proud to see it.
 *****
 Five hours since Jensen had started and Jared felt that Jensen was flagging a
little.  He was still not 100% yet,    health wise   , and Jared didn't want
the other wolf to overdo it on his first day.  Jensen had started to relax a
little by the end of the shift and had even started talking to some of the
other workers in the store.  True, none of them had been a part of Welling's
Pack but it was still interaction initiated by Jensen so Jared was pretty damn
happy about it. 
 Jared walked out of the office over to Jensen's side and stopped him in the
middle of unpacking a pallet of baked beans.  Jared looked at the shelf space
that Jensen had been packing and it was immaculate.  Worryingly so.  Every can
or tube was in exactly the same orientation, each label facing directly towards
the front and the products placed precisely the same distance apart, unlike the
rest of the aisles that were stacked and filled rather more haphazardly.  He'd
have to tell Jensen at some point that perfection wasn't really necessary and
it concerned him to think how that particular lesson could have been drilled
into the other wolf but he wasn't going to ask, not now anyway.
 'You good to go, Jen, Claire's just turned up so we can shoot off if you're
ready?'  Jensen placed the last can on the shelf and turned to Jared and
grinned, a look of pure satisfaction on his face.  Jared had had the feeling
that Jensen would feel better about accepting his and the pack's kindness if he
felt like he was doing something useful, and it looked like he was right. 
 'Yep, I'm all done, I hope it's alright, it's probably not up to the usual
standard but..'
 'Believe me, Jen, your aisle is totally the best aisle in the shop.'  Jared
could say that with absolute confidence, sure that no shelf in Mike’s had ever
looked better. 
 Jensen blushed and gave Jared a small smile, clearly proud of his work.  'Mike
told me that Joanna's going to be out sick for the rest week, she's got the flu
apparently, how would you feel about filling in her shift for the next couple
of days?'
 Jensen, nervously, looked up at the shelf he'd been stacking and then down the
aisle obviously not sure what to do. 
 'I'll be here again tomorrow are since Mike's been having problems with one of
our suppliers that's going to take me an age to sort out.'  Jared added, hoping
that would lessen some of Jensen’s anxiety.
 Jensen nervous movements stopped almost instantly once he realised Jared would
be at the shop with him, 'Oh, okay then, yeah, I can do that.' 
 Jared knew Jensen would have to get used to him not being around, but not just
yet, maybe later in the week.  Jared knew progress when he saw it and this,
this was definitely progress. 
 *****
 After a week working at Mike's and two days where Jensen had been able to go
to the store for his shift without Jared coming along to, Jared started to put
some real thought into what Jensen might like to do permanently in the pack.  
Mike had said that Jensen had always wanted to be a teacher, and since he had
moved in with Jared he had made his way through a fair number of the books in
Jared's house.  Jensen was certainly smart enough and more than willing to help
anyone out so Jared thought working at the school, maybe as an English
Teacher’s Assistant, would be a good next step for him.
 They sat down on the couch, a bowl of pasta each, as Jared flipped on another
movie; they watched a new one pretty much every night, Jared was determined to
get Jensen caught up with all the movies he should have spent his teen years
watching.   Tonight's choice was ‘The Hangover’.; Jared tried to steer clear of
any movies with knives or kidnap or heavy themes that might make Jensen
uncomfortable.  That did limit their choices, somewhat, since the movie
industry had become more and more lax with its portrayal of sex and violence
over the last twenty years but Jared made do.  To be honest, some of the
scarier ones had had Jensen curling into his side more readily and that was
never a bad thing as far as Jared was concerned. 
 'Hey Jen, Jo's back at work tomorrow.'  He watched the almost disappointed
expression cross Jensen's face before the younger wolf wiped it away.  That was
a good sign since Jensen had clearly enjoyed being out in the territory much
more than he had expected to, which might make him more open to Jared’s next
suggestion. 
 'Yeah, I know, Mike said so today.'
 'Well, I was thinking that since you seemed to enjoy being out of the house so
much, you'd like to help out the English class at the local elementary.  You'll
be working with Sandy and I know she can always use help with the little
rascals.  What do you think?'  Jared held his breath; he hoped the substitution
of Sandy for himself would be enough of a safety net for Jensen since Jensen
knew that Sandy was one of Jared’s best friends and that she wasn’t a werewolf
from Jensen’s old pack.
 'I...yeah, that sounds great...but I don't...I didn't even finish high school
Jared, I'm really not good...qualified to do that?'  Jensen shuffled his feet,
things like this were always tricky subjects to broach with Jensen; all the
things he'd missed out on while he had been Morgan's Beta were understandably a
sore subject.
 'That doesn't matter here, Jen.  First of all, you're just going to be an
extra pair of hands for Sandy, right now, and if you find you really like it
there then we can get you trained up.'  Jared reassured him.
 Jensen nodded but the worried frown still creased his forehead and Jared could
just tell he was second guessing his ability to really help Sandy tomorrow.
 ****
_Jensen._
 Jensen had sat in the corner of the classroom, watching intently, as Sandy
wrote out the spellings for the class to learn on the black board.  He didn’t
really know what he was meant to be doing so he just tried to stay out of the
way and be ready in case Sandy needed help with anything.  Jensen could just
about remember his own school days and none of his teachers had been as nice as
Sandy; the kids clearly loved her and he could see why.  She had a kind smile
and a charming sense of humour; he could see why she was one of Jared’s best
friends.
 The bell rang and all the kids literally tumbled outside into the playground
behind the school.
 ‘Hey, Jensen, why don’t you go outside and keep an eye on the kids, for a
moment, whilst I just get everything for the classes after lunch ready in
here?’  Jensen nodded and followed his charges outside.
 He watched the kids playing around, all of them staying in their human form,
obviously having been told by their parents not to rip up their clothes.  He
smiled as he watched them play together, thinking of his own school days all
those years ago.  A cry caught his sharp ears and he turned his head towards
the sound.  A little girl sat on the ground holding her knee, crying. 
 Jensen quickly ran over to the little girl and knelt down next to her.  ‘Hey
sweetie, what have you done?’  He smiled down at her, trying to see what she
had done.
 ‘I…I…fell over.’  She sniffed, holding her knee closer to her chest.
 ‘Okay, okay, it’s alright, can I see?’  She looked at him for a moment, red
and puffy eyes studying his appearance before she nodded and took her hand
away.
 Jensen saw a small graze across her knee, ‘Alright honey, I’m just gonna put a
plaster on that for you,’ Jensen ran over to the outside first aid kit kept at
the edge of the playground, werewolf pups tended to get themselves hurt an
awful lot in their rough-housing.  ‘Well look at that, I’ve got a Barbie one
just for you.’  He opened up the plaster and gently placed it over the graze. 
‘There all better.’  She smiled up at him, albeit a little shakily, and he
reached out to wipe away the last of her tears. 
 The little girl leaned up and gave him a kiss on the cheek before running away
leaving a bemused Jensen holding his hand to his cheek.
 ****
_Jared._
 Jared smiled to himself; he had been watching from the classroom as Jensen had
run over to the little girl’s side.  He knew Jensen was good with kids but the
care he had taken with the hurt child had filled his heart and told him exactly
where Jensen belonged in his pack. 
 ‘Wow. you really do have it bad Jay, I thought Chad was just taking the piss
out of you, but I can see he wasn’t exaggerating.’  He turned to look at Sandy,
wanting to feel indignant about that but he couldn’t really find it in him.
 ‘Yeah I have,’ he said simply; it was true, the younger wolf had affected him
so much more than he had thought he would and he had barely known him a couple
of weeks. 
 Sandy’s teasing eyes turned soft and she placed a hand on his arm, ‘I’m really
pleased for you, Jay, you deserve to be happy and, from what I’ve heard, I
think that wolf out there could do with some happiness in his life too.’  Jared
nodded, he was more than willing to be the one who brought that happiness into
Jensen’s life.
 ‘I think he’ll be good at the clinic, Sands.  Misha’s always begging me for
someone who’s good with kids to take care of them when their parents are being
treated or maybe just talk to them through their own tests.  The last two guys
I put in there to help were an absolute disaster but I think Jensen could do
it.’  Jared mused.  Jensen had an undeniable connection with kids and Jared
knew that Chris and Misha would look after the Beta whilst Jared wasn’t there.
 ‘Yeah, I think that’s a great idea, he’s a real natural with the kids, he was
much more relaxed around them than he was with me.’  She smiled and it was both
fond and sad.  ‘I think he thought I was judging him, you know’ Jared looked
sharply at her and she shot him an offended look back, ‘I wasn’t, you know me
better than that, I just think that’s what he expects all of us to do because
of his position in Morgan’s Pack.  I know you’ll help him through that, Jay, if
there’s anyone who can help him it’s you.’  She said with confidence and Jared
felt better at the difficult task of helping Jensen than he had when he had
left the house that morning. 
 Jared turned back to the window just in time to see Jensen tackled by three
kids at once, laughing and falling backwards onto the grass.  Jared saw a flash
of the future he could have with the Beta, in that instant, and he really hoped
that he would get to live it.
 *****
 Over the next few weeks, Jensen flourished; he began talking to other wolves
in the pack, even without Jared at his side eventually, and generally made
himself useful.  He spent a lot of time with Alona and Mike which Jared was
glad to see, he had been worried that with everything that had happened, it
might have damaged that bond forever.  But Mike and Alona had been patient and
Jared knew that they were good wolves who would give Jensen the time he
needed. 
 He and Jensen had become closer and Jared was pleased to see that while Jensen
still deferred to him for most of the decisions about their house, he was
starting to make his own in regards to his life and had started giving his
opinions more freely than before.
 The full moon was approaching and Jared was excited about the prospect of
seeing Jensen's wolf.  Werewolves loved the moon and the freedom granted by the
shift; they felt at one with nature and more powerful when she was full.  This
was why he was surprised when he entered Jensen's room one morning to find the
younger wolf pacing, clearly agitated.
 'Jen?  What's wrong?'  Jensen kept pacing and rubbing his neck.  Jared moved
over to him and placed a hand on his arm to stop him pacing, but the flinch the
touch elicited was so great that Jared quickly removed his hand again and took
a step backwards.  'Jensen, what is it?'
 'I don't know, I…I feel strange, my skin feels too tight and really sensitive,
I don't know what's wrong, Jared.'  Jared would have smiled if he hadn't been
so puzzled and Jensen hadn't been so upset.  It was exactly what everyone else
would be feeling this close to the full moon; the wolf ready to burst out as
soon as the white orb rose into the sky.  What Jared didn't understand was why
Jensen didn't know that was what he was feeling. 
 'Nothing's wrong, Jensen, it's just your wolf, he's getting ready to run.' 
Jared explained, gently, hoping to    dispel    Jensen's fears.  Instead
Jensen's eyes widened and he bit his lips so hard that Jared smelt blood.
 'But...I…I can't...I haven't.'  Jared choked slightly as it all fell into
place in his mind; the silver collar, the cuffs, if Jensen had had to wear them
all of the time, he wouldn't have been able to change. 
 That must have meant that Jensen hadn't shifted in at least four years.  It
was unthinkable.  Jared had never come across it before, he had just assumed
Morgan let Jensen out of the silver at least once a month for the moon; it was
a surprise Jensen hadn't gone mad.  Jared walked over to Jensen and pulled him
into a hug to stop his restless movements.  Jensen stiffened for a moment
before melting into Jared's embrace.
 'It's okay, Jensen, we'll shift together, I'll get you through this, you trust
me right?'  Jensen nodded immediately and it warmed Jared to see that, even
after all those years of abuse, Jensen was still willing to trust an Alpha. 
 That still left Jared with a problem, though, since after all those years, he
was sure the shift wasn't going to be easy for Jensen.  Jared would have to
talk to Misha and ask his advice.  The werewolf knew pretty much everything
about human and werewolf medicine and he'd never let him down yet.  Jared just
hoped Misha wouldn't let him down when it came to helping the person who had
quickly become the most important thing in his world. 
 ****
 Jensen sat in their lounge curled up on the sofa, his fingers flexing in the
pillows.  Jared couldn't imagine how scary all this must be for Jensen.  As a
werewolf, Jensen should have been able to change at will and be able to put off
the shift at the full moon if he had to.  He should have been able to control
his lupine side in a way that he clearly couldn't anymore. 
 If Jared had to make a guess as to the cause of it, his best would be that too
many years restrained by silver chains, too many years spent suppressing his
lupine half completely, meant the wolf wouldn't be tamed and kept inside on the
full moon anymore.  Misha had said that there was very little medical advice he
could give on the subject, apparently this kind of thing just didn't happen,
werewolves didn't deny their wolf side so no-one really knew what would happen
when a wolf did, voluntarily or not. 
 Jared sat down next to Jensen and took the man’s smaller hand in his.  Jensen
felt hot, really hot, hotter than werewolves usually got even before the
shift.  That worried Jared and he saw the sweat beading on Jensen's brow. 
 'You alright, Jensen?'
 Jensen shook his head fervently, then looked at Jared and Jared was shocked to
see that Jensen's green eyes were far brighter than he'd ever seen them, almost
luminous.  The change was starting and the moon was barely even up yet. 
 'It's alright, Jen, it’s just the shift starting, that's what you're
feeling.'  The rubbed his hand up and down Jensen's trembling arm.
 Suddenly, Jensen doubled over and fell from the couch onto his knees and Jared
heard a series of loud cracking noises as Jensen's bones broke and realigned
themselves.  Jensen's wolf was ripping its way out of the scared, and
essentially unwilling, human Jensen's body.
 Jared fell to his knees next to Jensen, 'Jensen, you need to stop fighting it,
it won't hurt if you don't fight it.'  Jensen was whimpering on all fours, his
arms and legs shaking with pain and fear, and Jared could already see the wolf
starting to take shape.  But Jensen wasn't relaxing, he was as taut as a
bowstring, and if Jensen didn't loosen up soon, the wolf was going to tear him
apart and the pain would be unbearable. 
 Jared made a quick decision and grabbed Jensen round the waist and pulled him
into his lap.  Jared closed his mouth round the back of Jensen's neck for a
moment, bit down hard, and then pulled away, 'Relax, Beta.'  He commanded. 
Jared felt the muscles in Jensen's body start to    unwind   .  'Relax now,
Jensen.'  He ordered again.  Jensen finally relaxed back into Jared's chest and
his breathing evened out a little more. 
 Jared allowed Jensen to transform the rest of the way on his lap, whispering
reassurances and mild orders into the younger wolf's ear to help him along the
way.  He stroked down Jensen's back and across the nape of his neck whenever he
felt Jensen start to tense up again. 
 Soon, Jared had a large dark blonde wolf on his lap.  It was always a struggle
to keep his own Alpha wolf under his skin this close to the full moon but with
Jensen in his lap giving it all sorts of dirty ideas, it was damn near
impossible.  He hastily removed Jensen from his lap before his own wolf could
even think about carrying out any of those plans.  The mental pictures he had
from tonight would be starring in his dreams for the next few weeks, that was
for damn sure.
 And, wow, Jensen was stunning.  Not a huge surprise really, but seeing him in
all his lupine glory still brought Jared up short for a moment.  Jensen looked
up shyly at him, ducking his head and knocking it against Jared's leg.  Jared
realised he’d been staring but who could blame him?  The dark blonde wolf in
front of him had all the grace of his human, and all the power of the wolf. 
The green eyes that had captivated Jared since that first day, when he had seen
Jensen at Morgan's side, stared back at him so intensely that Jared felt his
heart stutter.
 'Jensen, you're beautiful.'  He whispered more to himself than to the wolf in
front of him.  Jared frowned as the wolf shook his large head and averted his
eyes.  'Come on, man, let's go for a run.'  Jensen sprang up at that and wagged
his tail, his tongue lolling out of his mouth in a wolfish grin.  Jared shifted
himself and huffed out a laugh, leading the younger wolf out the back door and
into the woods.
 They ran through the night and it seemed that Jensen's earlier pains from the
transformation were all but forgotten in the light of the moon.  Jared was
pretty sure it would be easier for Jensen next time, and after a few full moon
cycles he'd set about helping Jensen control the shift rather than letting it
control him.  But for tonight, he was just going to have some fun with the
Beta. 
 Jared chased Jensen through the trees; Jensen was fast, he'd give the younger
wolf that, but Jared had been trained as a hunter since his fifth birthday and
always managed to ambush the smaller wolf in the end through an unbeatable
combination of stealth and tactics.  A few hours before sunrise Jared had
Jensen pinned on his back once again, Jensen's throat bared in submission below
him and all was right in Jared's world.  God, he could live the rest of his
life with just this and be happy, just running through the wilds with this Beta
by his side. 
 The lick to his muzzle caught him by surprise and he looked down and saw the
mischievous gleam flicker in the eyes of the wolf below him.  He nipped Jensen
back in response.  Yes, he could be very happy living forever just like this.
 ****
 The next morning, Jared awoke with Jensen spooned in front of him, now back in
human form.  Jared assumed the wolf had been asleep when he had shifted back,
which brought Jared some comfort since the pain of the change had clearly been
brought on by Jensen rallying against it rather than any impairment of Jensen's
body.  That would mean that once Jensen managed to control his nerves, the
change should be as painless for him as it was for everyone else. 
 Jensen stirred in his arms, and Jared was suddenly aware that they were both
very naked and he was pressed up tightly against Jensen's very naked back.  He
didn't want Jensen to freak out about their closeness but he also didn't want
to push Jensen away either and leave him feel rejected.  Werewolves craved
contact; him pushing Jensen away could have been heart-breaking for the younger
wolf.  Jared stayed very still, not knowing what to do for the best, as the
wolf in his arms turned around to look at him, fixing him with those stunning
green eyes, now a little less bright and luminous but still just as bewitching.
 'Um...morning, Alpha.'  Jensen said with a deep blush painting his features
and a nervous smile which was really more of a grimace; he'd clearly taken in
their naked states and had probably felt Jared's not so soft cock against his
ass.  'Should we…uh...head back?'
'Yes, definitely, we should, definitely head back, absolutely.' Jared stammered
out and stood up quickly in an effort to put some distance between himself and
the other wolf as subtly as possible.  He didn't really think he achieved the
subtle part but he got the distance so one out of two wasn't all that bad. 
Jared really wanted to shift so Jensen wouldn't see his aroused state but he
didn't want Jensen to feel awkward by being naked alone in the middle of the
woods. 
 Jensen stood keeping his back to Jared.  Jared wasn't all that opposed to the
view, if he was honest, because, Jesus Christ, what a back; the sinuous curve
of the man's spine was like poetry and it was all Jared could do not to run his
hand down it in reverence.  Jensen looked over his shoulder, biting his bottom
lip as he turned slowly to face Jared, and Jared was surprised to see that he
wasn't the only one affected by waking up next to another naked man.
 'I...I'm sorry Alpha, I didn't mean to...'  Jensen looked up, pleadingly, at
Jared.
 'Jen, it's fine, happens to the best of us.'  Jared shrugged, letting Jensen
see he was in a similar state.  He gave Jensen a smile to reassure him but was
confused when Jensen looked even more agitated,
 'I'm sorry, it's me… I’m doing that, I never really learned to control my
pheromones, I'm sorry, Alpha, I'll…I’ll do better next time.'  Jensen said
quietly, his hands balled tightly into fists. 
 Jared was shocked to say the least and wondered who'd told Jensen that he
needed to control his pheromones, ever.  It wasn’t a huge leap to assume that
it had been Morgan, probably in an attempt to limit Jensen’s sexual interaction
with any other wolf in case Jensen actually found his real mate.  Jared didn't
really believe in suppressing their pheromones, it was all part of being a
werewolf, a primal part of them that they couldn't and shouldn't deny.  If they
were attracted to another wolf, their pheromones would let them and the other
wolf know, and so helped lead wolves to their mates.  Plus, Jared was damn sure
it wasn't Jensen's pheromones that had made him wake up hard that morning, it
was Jensen's...well Jensen's everything else!
 'No, Jensen, you don't have to control things like that, you're a werewolf,
just let that side out.  Really it's not a problem, I bet my scent's all over
these woods by now, it's natural for wolves to scent.  Jen, embrace it and,
please, don't apologise for it.'  Jensen was bright red now and Jared decided
to get him home and into some clothes before any of the other wolves came
looking for him and Jensen was even more embarrassed than he had already been
that morning. 
 Jared wanted to kick himself, he really should have thought ahead and brought
them out some clothes but nakedness was such a normal part of his life that he
hadn't even considered that there would be any awkwardness caused by it in the
morning.  It had been short sighted of him and he wouldn't make the same
mistake again.
 As they walked back, the thought suddenly struck him that he'd made Jensen
release his pheromones all over the woods last night.  He found himself smiling
at the fact that Jensen's wolf obviously found his wolf appealing even if
Jensen didn't quite know what that meant yet.  Jared was happy for the rest of
the day.

***** Chapter Nine. *****
Chapter Notes
     Soundtrack to Chapter Nine: Jon McLaughlin - ‘So Close.’ I thought
     this conveyed how Jared felt about his relationship with Jensen here;
     he’s so close to having him but so close to maybe losing him at the
     same time.
 _ Chapter_Nine._
__Jensen.__
  A few days later, Jensen was walking back from the clinic, where he'd been
working with Misha and Chris, thinking about how much his life had changed in
the past month.  He really liked working there.  As much as he had enjoyed
working at Mike’s and then at the school with Sandy, this was the job that
really called out to him.  Jensen got to help the pack and Misha had claimed
that he displayed an astounding level of compassion and empathy that allowed
him to connect to the patients despite his reserved manner. 
  He preferred working with the kids; it was when he felt he could really let
his guard down.  Jensen used to look after the pups back in Tom's pack when
their parents were off on pack business.  At the clinic, he would distract them
while Misha worked with their parents or did tests that they might have found
painful had Jensen not been there to drag their young minds away. 
  Jensen just couldn’t believe that he finally had a job that he loved and
people he really cared about when a month ago he’d already resigned himself to
a life of pain and humiliation with Jeff.  It was like being given a second
chance.  And it was all thanks to Jared and Jensen just didn’t know how to deal
with that.
  ****
__Chris.__
  Chris and Misha were the only qualified doctors in the pack so they had more
than enough work between them and Jensen's enthusiasm to help was a God’s send
and pretty endearing to say the least.  Chris had felt protective of the wolf
from the moment he, Jared and Chad had seen him at Morgan's feet but, over the
last few days of them working closely together, Chris had seen so many aspects
of Jensen's personality that he couldn't help but feel more for the wolf than
he knew he should. 
  Chris had seen Jensen's stunning face back at his old pack but he had no idea
that the soul beneath would match and it shook him in more ways than he liked
to admit.  Chris was more of a lone wolf, always had been; yes, he was loyal to
Jared’s Pack and would give his life for any of them but he had never relied on
anyone but himself and he had never even considered the possibility of finding
a mate one day.  He'd never had the urge to mate and just figured that he was
wired that way.  But as he watched Jensen tumble around on the floor with one
of the younger pups he started to consider that maybe he’d been wrong all these
years. 
  'Chris?'  Chris shook his head to clear it and looked up at Genevieve, the
clinic's secretary, who wore an amused expression on her face.
  'Sorry, what do you say, Genevieve, I was a million miles away?'  The smile
on her face grew as she looked between Chris and the young werewolf playing on
the carpet.
  'Not that far away I don’t think.  Anyway, I said your next patient is
waiting for you in room two.'  Chris nodded, 'Oh and Chris you might want to
wipe that drool off the side of your mouth before I send Jensen in to help
you.'  She laughed when he raised his hand to his mouth then scowled, realising
his mistake.
  ****
__Jared.__
  Three days after the change and Jensen seemed happier in himself, looser and
more relaxed than Jared had ever seen him; it was the wolf, Jared was sure, all
that pent up energy had finally been let out.  Jensen came back in the evening
and sat next to Jared on the couch with a puzzled expression on his face.  He
clearly wanted to start a conversation but was not sure where to begin; he just
kept opening his mouth and closing it again, fidgeting where he sat. 
  Jared just waited patiently, it was the best to let Jensen start
conversations if he had something to tell Jared or Jensen would just follow his
lead and they'd never get to what Jensen had really wanted to say. 
  Finally, Jensen spoke sounding completely confused, 'Chris asked me out to
dinner today.' 
  Jared tamped down the sudden surge of jealousy that threatened to pour over
into a growl and asked, as neutrally as he could manage, 'What did you say?'
  'Nothing, I…I kind of ran away.'  Jensen blushed and looked anywhere but at
Jared.  It was absolutely adorable and Jared found it hard to suppress a smile.
  'Why did you do that?'  Jared asked, he was pretty damn interested to know
the answer to that question.
 'Because I didn't understand why he asked me.'  Jared understood Chris’
motives all too well even if Jensen did not.  He had seen the way some of the
other Alphas had looked at Jensen and he knew Jensen didn't notice, just
returning their smiles, oblivious to the effect he was having on them.  Chris
seemed to have fallen under the younger wolf's spell, as well.  But as much as
Jared hated the very idea of another wolf anywhere near his Jensen (God, not
his), he wouldn't dream of standing in Jensen's way should he choose a
different Alpha.
  'He asked you because he wants to spend time with you, talk to you, get to
know you better, I assume.'  Jared wasn't sure he'd pulled off the nonchalant
tone he was going for but Jensen seemed too lost in his own thoughts to notice
anyway.
  'But I see him every day at work, what else would he want to talk to me about
that he can't talk to me about then?'  Jared bit the inside of his cheek to
keep from grinning.
  'Um, I think he wants to get to know you, one on one, in a more romantic
setting Jen.'  Jensen's green eyes widened at that.
  'Do you mean...?'  The flailing hand gesture was enough to make Jared
understand what Jensen meant.
  'I think so.'  Jared answered, not sure what Jensen's reaction would be, he
was four years out of     practise    with dealing with people and, as far as
Jared knew, had no experience of dating at all.
  'Oh.'  Jensen looked sad for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck as he
said softly, 'Do I have to?  I mean, I know he's an Alpha, but I don't really
want to but I will if that’s the way it is.'
  'God, no, Jen, of course you don't have to go.  In my pack Alphas don't just
order Betas around like that, it's a partnership and the only time an Alpha
would ever use their authority over their mate was if their mate was in danger
and that's only in a paired mating.  Neither Chris nor any other Alpha holds
any claim on you, Jensen, you don't have to do anything another Alpha tells you
to do if you don't want to.'
  'Except you.'  That sent a thrill down Jared's spine and he was pretty sure
he heard something else in Jensen's soft voice.  Maybe that was just wishful
thinking.
  'That's true, Jen, but I would only openly order you to do something to
protect you or the pack and even then you don't actually have to stay in this
pack if you don't want to.  I'm sure the other packs would happily take you
in.'  Jared explained, still a little disturbed that Jensen had thought he had
to go on a date with Chris just because Chris was an Alpha and he was a Beta.
  'You want me to leave?'  Jensen sounded so alarmed and hurt that Jared acted
on instinct and pulled him close into his broad chest.
  'No, of course not, I'm just letting you know you have the option to leave if
ever you should want to.'  Jared reassured the younger wolf, letting a hand run
through Jensen’s hair to help calm him.
  'I won't.'  Jensen whispered back, soft but sure, and the knot of tension
that had been lodged in Jared’s stomach, ever since he had brought Jensen home
to his pack,     dissipated   .
  'Good, we're all happy you're here, Jensen.'  Myself most of all, he thought,
although he didn't think it would be right to add that sentiment just yet. 
  ****
  Jared had resolved to talk to Chris the next day about Jensen.  He wanted to
tell the other wolf that Jensen clearly wasn't ready for that kind of
relationship yet.  He told himself, firmly, that it really was because Jensen
wasn't ready and not because he wanted to keep Jensen to himself for just a
little while longer.
  'Hey Chris, can I talk to you for a minute?'  Jared said, knocking on the
slightly open door of Chris’ office at the clinic.
  'Sure, Jay, what can I do for you?' 
  'It's about Jensen.'  Chris stopped writing but didn't look up, a clear
avoidance tactic. 
  'Oh, what about him?'  Chris answered even they both knew exactly what Jared
was talking about.
  'He told me you asked him out.'  Jared stated baldly to the other wolf.
 There was no point beating around the bush on this one, Jensen was too
important for Jared not to finish what he came to do.
  'Oh he did, did he?'  Chris answered absently, having resumed his writing.
  'Yes and I just wanted to tell you that I think you need to back off a
little, Jensen just isn't ready for that yet.'  Jared explained, adding a
little of his Pack Alpha authority to the words.
  Chris lifted his eyes to Jared's at that and they were narrowed and cold, 'Is
it that he's not ready, Jared, or that you're not ready to let him go?'
  'I have nothing to do with this, Chris, I just know that he's not ready.' 
Jared argued back, keeping his voice steady and even.
  'Right    , and you wanting him as your Beta has absolutely nothing to do
with you being here?'  Chris snorted at Jared as though the idea were
ludicrous.
  'It doesn't, Chris, you know me better than that; I would never try to
control Jensen like that, especially after everything he's been through.' 
Jared could feel himself getting angry and tried to dampen his emotions, it
would do no good to yell at Chris about this.
  'Do I Jay?  We've all seen the way you look at Jensen so if you're warning me
off so you can keep him for yourself, know this- I won't back down that easily,
Pack Alpha or not.'  Chris stood up and shoved Jared hard on his way out of his
office leaving Jared alone, gaping after his friend. 
  Chris always had had trouble controlling his temper; the Alpha was volatile
to say the least.  That combined with the pull of a Beta would make things
unpleasant between them if they both pursued Jensen.  Jared sighed and walked
back to his house. 
  There was nothing he could do but wait for Jensen to make his choice.  If he
said no to Chris, Jared had no doubt the other wolf would back off; Chris truly
cared about Jensen and wouldn't want to do anything to hurt him.  It didn't
stop Jared worrying about the young Beta though. 



***** Chapter Ten. *****
Chapter Notes
     Soundtrack to Chapter Ten: No soundtrack for this one since there is
     just no angst in this chapter- I know shock horror! And all the music
     I listen to is sad and angsty so I just couldn’t find anything that
     fit.
 _ Chapter_Ten._
__Jared.__
  As Jared had expected, Chris and Jensen's relationship continued on the same
as it had before.  Jared assumed Jensen thought he had misunderstood the other
wolf's intentions and had fallen back into their old routine and Jared thought
Chris might actually have, grudgingly, taken his advice and backed off. 
  That was one worry off his mind at least.  Jared still needed to talk to the
other werewolves from Morgan's Pack and make sure they understood how things
worked in his pack if they wanted to stay.  He had left it far longer than he
normally would have to introduce the new wolves to the ways of the Padalecki
Pack but he’d been so tied up with Jensen that he really hadn’t had time to
deal with it yet.  Luckily, many of the wolves were originally part of
Welling's Pack since a lot of Morgan's wolves had gone down when Jared had
challenged their Head Alpha. 
  Jared called a meeting, with Chad and Chris at his side, for the other wolves
to attend.  Chris nodded at Jared as he entered, letting the Alpha know that he
still had his back despite their disagreement about Jensen.  Jared had already
known that but it made him feel better having the tangible proof of Chris’
support. 
  'Good Morning everyone.  I've called this meeting to see how you're all
settling in and to make sure everyone is happy with the way I run my pack.' 
Most of the wolves nodded their heads; Jared made a quick mental note of the
ones who didn't and noticed they were all former members of Morgan's inner
guard. 
  'I know things are different here than they were in Morgan's Pack and it must
be difficult for you all to make the change.  I have been assured by Mike and
Alona that those of you from the Welling Pack shouldn’t find it difficult to
adjust here; we have similar values and practices to those that Tom employed so
I'm sure you're all settling in fine.  Those of you from Morgan's original pack
will probably have more trouble settling in so I just wanted to reiterate the
points that were told to you when you first joined my pack.
  'Everyone pulls their weight here, we can find you a job most suited to your
skill set but everyone has a job and does that job to the best of their
ability, no matter their status, everyone is equal in this pack and does their
share.’
  'Even you, Alpha.'  The mocking tone had Chad moving towards the wolf who had
spoken.  Jared stopped him.  The man had been Morgan's Second in Command and
would always be the most difficult of the newcomers but Jared didn't want a
fight here so he ignored the sneer in the man's tone to continue.
  'Yes, even me.  I look down on no wolf in my pack, you are all my family and
the only time I’ll ever command a wolf to follow my orders is for the good of
my pack and I will protect them, Jake, from everything I think that’ll try to
do them harm.'  The threat was subtle but unmistakable and Jared caught the
beginnings of a snarl before Jake managed to pull it back.  'And I have a job,
too, I train wolves in self     defence    at the gym every day to make sure
any wolves who wish to be trained have the opportunity to do so.
  'Secondly, beatings and cruelty will not be tolerated here; if punishment is
to be dealt out, the wolf in question is brought to me with the evidence of
their crime and I’ll decide what needs to be done.  No wolf has the right to
harm another wolf of this pack, unless it is in self     defence   .'
  Jared took a deep breath before he mentioned the last important condition,
one that he'd never had to tell any new werewolves joining his pack before, 
'There will be no forced matings in my pack, no claiming without consent is
acceptable; that will never happen in my pack as it should never have happened
in yours.' 
  Jared clenched his jaw as he ignored the snort that came from Abel and
continued, looking around his new pack members as he spoke, 'None of you are
bound to this pack and you may leave now, with no ill will, if you don't feel
that you can follow any of these conditions.  But if you decide to stay, they
will be followed or you’ll suffer the consequences for disobeying them. 
Remember this, I'll love you and protect you whilst you are a member of my
pack, once you break any of these rules, you will no longer be my family and
will be treated accordingly.  Understand?'
  'Yes, Alpha' echoed around the room.  Jared nodded and left with Chad and
Chris on his heels, knowing the new wolves would be shown the rest of their way
of life by his original pack as they got more settled in. 
  'Well, I think that went well, Jay,' Chad said as they sat down on one of the
wooden benches outside Jared’s house.
  'Yeah, I think so too.'  Jared agreed with his Second in Command.
  'I think that Abel asshole might be a problem though.  Some of Morgan's inner
circle, too.'  Chris added.  Jared nodded, the other wolf was right, it was
likely that Abel would challenge his authority whenever he could.  'Plus, I
really don't like the look he gave you when you talked about the forced mating,
makes me worry he's a little more like Morgan than we'd realised.'  They didn't
mention Jensen but it was obvious where their worry stemmed from.
  'I know but I offered them all sanctuary here.  Just keep an eye on him,
guys, and make sure he doesn't do anything he shouldn't be doing.'  They nodded
and walked off to start their tasks for the day while Jared walked into his
house.


***** Chapter Eleven. *****
Chapter Notes
     Soundtrack to Chapter Eleven: Savage Garden- ‘I Knew I Loved You.’ I
     think this song's perfect for the way Jared thinks about Jensen and I
     think it fits in to the whole werewolf mates concept as well.
 _ Chapter_Eleven._
__Jensen.__
  Jensen was working late at the clinic, cleaning up at Genevieve's suggestion,
despite Misha's and Chris' insistence that he go home.  Jensen didn't mind, he
liked to keep busy; with Jeff, Jensen had always been cleaning, or cooking
or...doing something all day, he'd never had leisure time.  He wasn't really
sure what to do with all the free time that he seemed to have now. 
  Jared wouldn't let him clean the house, just his room, and they cleaned
everything else together.  It was strange to Jensen and he couldn't understand
why, as an Alpha, Jared didn't just get him to take care of all the nasty jobs
like that.  He wouldn't even mind doing that for Jared, after everything Jared
had done for him.  The man was amazing and the fact that he had even allowed
someone like Jensen to stay in his home was testament to how good the man
was.  
  Jensen shook his head and went back to scrubbing the floor in one of the
clinic exam rooms when he heard a high pitched giggle from the hallway.  Not
realising    that Genevieve was still there and not wanting to be rude, he
opened the exam room door to maybe talk to her while he worked.  Jensen figured
it would be rude to hide away in the room, since she must have known that he
was still there, and she seemed nice enough even though her gaze sometimes took
on a slightly colder edge when she looked at him.  Jensen couldn't blame her,
they all knew what he had been in Morgan's Pack and if he were them he wouldn't
want to be near him either.  Hell, he didn't want to be near himself most of
the time. 
  As soon as Jensen had started to open the door, he had heard a booming laugh
that he immediately knew was Jared's and he stopped opening the door.  God,
what was Jared doing here?  He peered out and saw Genevieve's perfectly
manicured hand drift up and down Jared's arm in a soft caress.  Jensen jumped
back, not wanting to eavesdrop on the two lovers, feeling his stomach flop at
the very thought.  He figured he just felt uncomfortable for having seen what
he had when the couple clearly thought they were alone but he still found it
hard to breathe in the room nonetheless.
  It was two hours later when Jensen finally left to make his way back to
Jared’s; he had waited an hour and a half after the two wolves had left and had
made sure the clinic was cleaner than it had probably been since it was built.
 Menial tasks always assuaged his guilt when he felt like he'd done something
wrong but the knot in his stomach still hadn't left.  He felt awful for having
witnessed such a private moment and shuddered to think what a pervert Jared
would think he was if he thought Jensen had been spying.  Which he really
hadn't been, he hadn't even known that Genevieve was the wolf Jared was
interested in.
                                     ****
  As soon as Jensen entered the lounge he rushed past Jared to the kitchen to
start dinner.  He found that Jared had already started cooking, a cottage pie
big enough for both of them in the oven, which left Jensen even more off
balance and at a complete loss for something to do.
  'Jen, can you come in here for a second, please?'  Jensen tensed, what if
Jared was about to throw him out of the pack or worse.  Jensen slowly walked
into the lounge and knelt down besides Jared's feet, head bowed, ready to take
whatever punishment Jared felt was appropriate.  Jensen immediately felt
himself lifted up onto the couch next to Jared and his head rose to look Jared
in the eye despite his attempts to not meet the larger man's gaze.  'Why didn't
you come out and say hello at the clinic, I could smell you were still there?'
  Jensen bit his lip and shook his head, not knowing what to say.
  'Jensen?'  Jared pushed.  Jensen’s shoulders slumped and he went with the
truth and prayed that Jared wouldn't think too badly of him, it had just been a
mistake after all.  And Jared wasn't like Jeff, he had said that mistakes were
okay, right?  But did that include something like this?
  'I...I...I'm really sorry, at first I didn't even know you were there.  I was
cleaning and I thought I was alone but then I heard Genevieve laugh and I
thought it would be really rude not to say something since she probably knew I
was there as well.  But I didn't know the two of you were meeting there and I
didn't want to interrupt, I'm really sorry, so I thought I'd just stay out of
the way while you had your...your date and I'm so sorry…'
  'Jensen, Jen, calm down, buddy, you're gonna pass out.'  Jared said laughing
and placing a hand on Jensen's shoulder.
  'You're not mad?'  Jensen tried to slow his     panicked    breathing so he
didn't hyperventilate.
  'No, I'm not mad, Jensen.'  Jensen relaxed a little at that, he should have
known that Jared wouldn't be mad; Jared never seemed to get mad at Jensen no
matter how stupid Jensen was, even though he acted like an idiot 95% of the
time and spent the other 5% sleeping.  'And I wasn't there to meet Genevieve.' 
That confused Jensen more than anything, the touch he'd seen and Genevieve's
laugh had clearly been flirtatious, and, yes, Jensen was seriously out of the
game (not that he'd ever really been in it) but he knew enough to know what
those signals meant.
  'I was there to pick you up and walk you home.'  Jared said it like it was
the most obvious thing in the world but Jensen couldn't understand why he
hadn't been at the clinic to see his future Beta.
  'But, I don't understand, why weren't you there to see Genevieve?'  Jensen
asked before he could stop himself, Jeff always did say he never knew when to
shut up.
  'I just wasn't.'  Jared shrugged.
  'But why?  I thought that Alphas could hardly stay away from their chosen
Betas?'  Jensen asked, that's what he'd been told, he'd never experienced the
pull himself, his body had only ever wanted to be as far away from Jeff’s as
possible.
  'Genevieve's not my future Beta, Jensen.'  
  'But...but she's so beautiful and rich and the way she laughed at your jokes,
she's perfect for someone like you, Jared.'  Jensen had been positive that
Genevieve was the Beta that Jared had been talking about at the lake but he was
also almost sure Jared wouldn't lie to him.  Why would he bother?  Jensen's
opinion of him didn't actually matter.
  'She is a great person, Jensen, and we did date for a while but I never felt
that connection with her.  I think she still thinks we could be mates one day
but that ship has long since sailed as far as I'm concerned.'  Jared answered
calmly, just like he always did when he was explaining something that Jensen
didn’t understand or didn’t know.  Which was a lot.
  Jensen nodded, he knew there was another Beta that Jared was already
interested in if it wasn't Genevieve, Jared had told him as much.
  'Wow, that other Beta must really be something if you think she's better for
you than Genevieve.'  Jensen must have met her and not know it yet.  He had met
a load of awesome Betas in the pack so it wasn't surprising but none of them
had flirted so openly with Jared as Genevieve had. 
  Jensen felt the knot of worry in his gut disappear for the first time since
Genevieve had touched Jared's arm.  His worry for his friend clearly dispelled
knowing that he hadn't interrupted anything, he was sure that was what it was.
  'They really are, Jensen, you have no idea.'  Jared fixed him with a fond
smile and the look in his eye was something Jensen had seen before when Jared
had looked at him but he really didn't know what it meant.  Jared pulled him
backwards onto the couch next to him and Jensen fell asleep like that half an
hour later, missing dinner and sure he was just imagining Jared's long fingers
carding through his hair. 
  ****
__Jared.__
  The weeks passed and Jared and Jensen became closer, most nights sitting
together to watch a movie or the TV which usually ended with Jensen curled into
Jared's side or leg and Jared carrying the younger wolf to bed.  The bond was
obvious and even though Jared didn't want to push the issue he felt that he
could take a chance now and see what Jensen thought about it.
  'Hey Jen?'  Jensen was sat on the floor between his legs as they watched 'Die
Hard.'
  'Yes?'  Jensen looked up at him under those long, dark lashes and Jared
nearly lost it right there and then.  He placed a hand on the smaller man's
shoulder to stop himself dragging Jensen up and kissing him breathless.
  'I wanted to ask you something, just to see what you thought about it, but I
really need you to be honest with me, okay.'  Jensen frowned at the serious
note in his voice but nodded nonetheless.  'I wanted to see if you wanted to go
out with me sometime?'
  'We go out all the time, Jay.'  The confused look on Jensen's face deepened
and it was so damn adorable.  It was true they did go out all the time so it
was no wonder Jensen was confused by his question.
  'I mean, out on a date, I want to take you to a movie, dinner maybe?'  He
asked, apprehensive of the reaction he'd receive, it was a strange feeling, the
only person who could ever make him feel unsure was Jensen.  The young man was
so important to him that he didn't really know what he'd do if he was rejected.
  The younger wolf tilted his head and placed a hand gently on Jared's thigh. 
The innocent touch was doing things to Jared that he really needed to ignore
right now.  'Why?'
  'Why?'  Jared     parroted    back in surprise, that was pretty much the last
answer he expected to his question.
  'Yes, why?  You told me about the wolf you wanted, why would you want to go
out with me when you want them to be your Beta?  Do you want me to help you
make them jealous?  Because I could totally do that.'  Jensen nodded at him,
completely sincere.
  'No, that's not it at all, Jensen.'  He brushed his hand through Jensen's
soft hair, it was now or never he supposed.  'Jen, the wolf I was talking about
was you.' 
  Jared didn't expect Jensen to pull away from him and stand up, nor did he
expect the look of hurt and bewilderment on the man's face.
  'That's not funny, Alpha.'   Jensen said in a quiet voice.
  'I know, it wasn't meant to be.'  Jared replied, utterly at a loss to explain
the direction this conversation had taken.
  'Stop it!  That's cruel and you promised that you wouldn't hurt me, I
don't...I don't understand why you're making fun of me like this.'  Jared could
hear the tears creeping into Jensen's voice and, God, if he made Jensen cry
he'd never forgive himself.
  Jared reached forward and grabbed the reluctant wolf's hand and pulled him to
his side.  Jensen tried to squirm away but, for once, Jared held him fast, he
needed Jensen to really understand him here.  'I'm not making fun of you,
Jensen, I would never do that, I want you to come on a date with me because I
like you a lot and I want to see if there is anything between us.'  Jensen
stared at him with his intense jade eyes and shook his head slightly like he
couldn't understand.
  'But why?'  He asked in a voice even quieter than before.
  'Because you're amazing.'  The self-deprecating snort was enough to spur
Jared on to say all the things he'd stopped himself saying since he had met the
werewolf.  'And kind and generous and fun and gorgeous but, mostly, because
you're my friend and I love spending time with you.'  He kissed Jensen on the
top of the head and felt the younger wolf melt into his side. 


***** Chapter Twelve. *****
Chapter Notes
     Soundtrack to Chapter Twelve: Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman
     (originally by Elton John but I personally like the Moulin Rouge
     version better!)- ‘Come What May.’ This is probably one of the
     romantic songs of all time and it’s all about everlasting love and
     overcoming all obstacles to be together so perfect for Jared and
     Jensen in this. I also think it fits in with the story’s idea of
     everyone having that one person out there to complete them.
 _ Chapter_Twelve._

__Jared.__
  Jared was jazzed; he was taking Jensen on a date out of the territory later,
away from the rest of the pack so they could truly get some time alone without
worrying about prying eyes and gossiping mouths.  He wondered if Jensen had
ever been to one of the human cities, it stood to reason that he might not
have.  There were designated wolves in Jared's Pack that did the supply runs
once a month and the territory provided pretty much everything else that the
wolves needed.  They had a grocery store, a leisure     centre   , schools, two
cinemas; all the stuff that could be found in any small town in America. 
  Some wolves, though, liked interacting with humans, some of them had even
come from human towns and cities themselves before deciding to join Jared's
Pack.  Jared didn't think Jensen was like that though; he knew enough about
Jensen's past to know that he was born a werewolf and that his parents had
lived outside of a pack before they'd died and Jensen had been taken in by the
Welling Pack.  That kind of anti-pack wolf     behaviour    didn't lend itself
to wolves that liked human contact; they obviously lived off the land in the
wild and probably stayed away from settlements, human or otherwise.
  Jared just hoped the new environment wouldn't be too much for Jensen to
handle; he'd been doing remarkably well over the last few weeks and Jared
couldn't wait to see Jensen through his next full moon.  The younger man had
really come alive and he hoped to take him out for a run with the rest of the
pack soon.  He was sure that Jensen would love to run with Chris and Misha. 
  Jared was actually whistling as he walked through his front door (God, he was
so gone for the guy) and walked up the stairs to see how Jensen's day had
been.  He knocked on the door but upon receiving no answer he opened it
carefully.
  'Jen, you okay?'
  He found Jensen pacing back and forth across the small guest room, wringing
his hands.  All the clothes he had bought Jensen were strewn over the bed and
Jensen didn't seem to have even noticed that Jared had come into the room.
  'Jen?'  Jensen jumped at the sound and looked at him, stricken.  'Jensen,
what's the matter?' 
  'I...I…you need to pick me something to wear, I don't...just give me
something, just tell me what to wear, Alpha.'  Jensen stumbled over the words
and they came out in a disordered rush.
  'Jensen, I'm not going to tell you what to wear.  I haven't since you got
here, what's so different about today?'  Jared shook his head, Jensen hadn’t
been this agitated in weeks.
  'Because of,' Jensen blushed and looked away, 'Because of tonight, it's
supposed special and I wanted it to be perfect for you.'  Jared felt warmth
spread through him at the idea of the Beta wanting to make things perfect for
him.  That warmth was successfully doused by the next words though, 'I always
get things wrong and I didn't want to screw up for you but I guess I have
already, you seeing me acting like a crazy person.'
  Jared grabbed both of Jensen's twitching hands in his, 'Jensen, you are not
crazy and you don't always screw up and, yeah, you've had a little freak out
but I'm here to help you with those.  I want to help you with those.'  Jensen
nodded shakily. 'Ok, let's figure out what you want to wear then.  What's your
favourite colour, Jen?'
  'Green.'
  'Right, green shirt it is then.'  Jared grabbed a deep green shirt off the
bed and handed it to Jensen.
  'But...what do you like...?'  Jensen tried to say before Jared stopped him.
  'Not important, Jensen.  And pants, you wear jeans most days so do you wanna
go with those?'  Jared knew that Jensen preferred the jeans to the dress pants
that Jared had bought for him.
  'Are you sure that this is okay?'  Jensen asked as he     hesitantly
reached for a pair of black jeans.
  'Jensen, I just want you to be comfortable and I want you to wear something
you like wearing, not something I like you wearing.'  Jensen nodded again,
'Right, you get dressed, we'll be off in twenty minutes.'  He rubbed Jensen's
arm reassuringly.
  He went to leave the room but turned back to look over his shoulder at
Jensen, 'And for the record, you look pretty damn amazing in anything, Jensen,
so really, you could wear a paper bag and you would still be as hot as hell.' 
He winked and left the room, knowing he was leaving a blushing Jensen behind. 
  ****
  Despite the rocky start at home, the date had gone really well.  Jared had
interlaced their fingers in the movie theatre and Jensen had tucked himself
into Jared's side for the rest of the picture, much like he did at home.  It
started to rain as they walked back to the car and they both broke into a run
for cover.  When he reached the car, Jared stopped and looked at Jensen
laughing, he looked so beautiful, the rivulets of water running off him making
his eyes shine and his lashes darken to frame them. 
  Before Jared even knew what he was doing he strode over to Jensen, purposeful
and confident, every bit the Alpha he was.  Jensen looked up at him and stopped
laughing when Jared stopped in front of him and Jared just leaned down and
kissed him.  It was so perfect and he heard Jensen moan into the kiss.  Jared
deepened the kiss and was rewarded with Jensen wrapping his arms around his
neck, clutching him like he never wanted to let go and really Jared was just
fine with that. 


***** Chapter Thirteen. *****
Chapter Notes
     Soundtrack to Chapter Thirteen: Rascal Flatts – ‘What Hurts The
     Most.’ Jensen feels like he’s lost Jared to another Beta, in this
     chapter, before they’ve even gotten started and just when he realised
     that he was falling in love with Jared himself.
 _ Chapter_Thirteen._
__Jensen.__
  Three nights after their date, Jensen changed with the full moon.  Misha had
talked to them and given Jensen some muscle relaxants to help him relax into
the shift and not resist it.  It was easier this time and hardly hurt at all. 
Jared was with him the whole time, and this time when Jared chased him, Jensen
might have let himself get pinned a little faster and for a little longer than
he had before.  He didn't know where his relationship with Jared was going but
until Jared tired of him, which he undoubtedly would, he was going to make the
most of every moment he got to have with the Alpha.
  ****
  Jensen had met more knowing grins and heard more innuendos, that he didn't
even really get, than he was really comfortable with that day at the clinic. 
He was sure he had spent the whole day with a permanent blush on his face. 
Chris and Misha had been great, each giving him a congratulatory pat on the
back, although Chris' was accompanied by a sad look in his eyes. 
  Genevieve, however, had been abnormally cold to him and even though he tried
to make conversation with her, she was a member of his new pack after all and
Jared's friend, she shot him down at every attempt.  She ran him ragged
throughout the morning with false errands; each time he'd come back only to
find that the medicine or the file he'd gone across the territory to get was
actually in one of the examination rooms.  By six o'clock, he was exhausted and
Chris was shooting daggers at Genevieve every time he left his office.  Misha
was little better but was just about managing to hide his hostility towards the
woman when the patients were around.
  Jensen sat in a comfy chair in exam room three, primarily to get away from
Genevieve's cutting remarks about his incompetence he'd had to endure all
morning.  She was right though; he didn’t have any qualifications, no high
school diploma, and you couldn't simply heal people with good intentions. 
Genevieve was even more right in what she said about Jared though; Jared needed
someone smart and capable, not some damn charity case. 
  Jensen came back into the reception area, empty handed yet again.  He was
glad no-one was waiting to be seen since he was a sweaty, untidy mess now.  He
didn't like to be away from the clinic for very long so he had run over to
Beaver's to get the extra bandages Genevieve had claimed they needed.
  'Oh sorry, Jensen, I found last week's shipment in the back.'  She smiled at
him, but it was more teeth than anything else, and he just nodded weakly. 
'Jared helped me unload them last Thursday, he's so strong and always so eager
to help me whenever I ask.'
  'Yes he is, he's the best.'  Jensen beamed at Genevieve, he wholly agreed
with that, Jared was the best Alpha ever.
  'It's a shame that he's not ready to settle down with his Beta yet.  He told
me he needed to play the field a little more before settling down with her.  He
has all these responsibilities right now and apparently he just needs a little
stress relief before plunging into his bonded relationship.  You know what it's
like, eh, Jen, men sowing their wild oats before the right one comes along.' 
Jensen felt his stomach twist.  'Anyway enough about my love life, be a good
boy and go down and clean room two would you, Johnny Fisher vomited in there
not 10 minutes ago.'  Jensen just nodded again and went to get the mop and
bucket trying to ignore the sudden pain in his chest.
  ****
__Chris.__
  The door opened and Chris popped his head in, a kind smile on his face.
  'Hey Jen, you need to go home, buddy, I'm going to lock up, do you wanna walk
with me?'   Jensen nodded, clearly lost in his own thoughts, and got up from
the comfy chair.
  Chris knew there was something wrong.  Jensen had been on Cloud Nine, or more
like Cloud Nine Hundred and Ninety Nine, this morning and now he looked more
like that frightened wolf they'd rescued all those months ago.  As much as it
pained him to admit it, Jared made Jensen happy and even if he couldn't have
Jensen as his, he was glad that Jensen had found someone to love him the way he
deserved to be loved.
  On their way back, Chris tried to find out what was bothering Jensen but he
was met with falsely cheery 'fines' and bright fake smiles which hurt Chris to
see.  Jensen should never have to hide, not anymore and certainly not from
him.  They got back to Jared's and saw Genevieve give Jared a lingering kiss on
the man’s cheeks before leaving with a flirty wave. 
  Chris felt Jensen tense beside him and he glared at the two werewolves.  He
didn't think Jared would cheat on Jensen but he was certain that Genevieve
would do anything to lead the Pack Alpha astray; the woman was poison and he
and Misha had watched her treat Jensen was growing disdain as he and Jared had
become closer. 
  Jared smelt the air for a moment and looked over at the two of them coming
over to his house.  He bounded over and wrapped his arms around Jensen,
nuzzling at the shorter man's neck.  Jensen gave him a watery smile and softly
butted his nose against the taller man's cheek in affection.  Chris saw the
tears Jensen was struggling to hold back so he was damn sure that Jared saw
them too. 
  ****
__Jared.__
  'I'm just going to go inside and have a shower and go to bed, it's been a
long day.'  Jensen hesitated shaking his head, 'Um, if that's alright with you,
Alpha, I mean I can make dinner, first...sorry, that was stupid to say that,
what did you want me to make?  I can make anything?  I can run out to the shop
if you need me to?'  Jared had no idea what was going on, Jensen only got like
this when he was really upset.  His anger rose to the surface at the thought of
someone hurting Jensen, it was even sharper than before now that Jensen had
returned his affections.  He needed to talk to Chris and find out what the hell
had happened and who needed to pay for it.
  'No, Jensen, it's fine, you go up to bed, I'm just gonna have some
sandwiches, big lunch, ya know.'  Jared grinned his biggest smile at the Beta
earning him a shy one in return.
  'Are you sure?  I don't mind, I'm not actually that tired, I was being
stupid, that’s all, after everything you've done for me I can stop being so
lazy.'  Jensen replied looking at his shoes.  Jared stalked over to Jensen and
kissed him chastely on the mouth.
  'No, baby, you go up to bed and get some sleep, you look tired and I'm taking
you out tomorrow so I don't want you to sleep through that.'  He kissed Jensen
tenderly on the nose and nudged him gently towards the house. 
  Once Jensen was inside, Jared turned to Chris,
  'What the hell happened?'
  'What the hell was that?'
  They both spoke at the same time, scowling at each other, and would have
laughed had the subject matter not been so serious.
  'I don't know, Chris, he only gets like that when he's really upset.  Did
something happen at the clinic?’  Then a unpleasant idea entered his mind, ‘I
thought he had a good time the other night but I could've been wrong.  Maybe he
regrets it.'  Jared said nervously.
  'Or maybe it was the fact that he just saw you kissing another Beta in your
home that got to him?'  Chris asked, sarcasm dripping off every word.
  'What are you talking about?'  Jared was genuinely confused and a little mad
that Chris was accusing him of cheating on Jensen when they'd only been
together for three freaking days.
  'Genevieve    , Jared, on your doorstep.'  Chris raised an eyebrow as if that
would make his point clearer.  It didn't.
  'What about Genevieve?  She just came round to return the book she borrowed
last week.'  Jared explained, Genevieve had been at the house for a grand total
of two minutes and she hadn’t even come inside, for Christ’s sake, what was
Chris even accusing him of?
  'Right    , of course she did, Jay, and her being at your home at the exact
moment your potential, and terribly insecure, mate comes home from work is a
complete coincidence.'  Sarcasm still    coloured    Chris' voice.
  'Don't be ridiculous, it was a peck on the cheek between friends, that's
all.'  Jared was getting frustrated, now, he'd been friends with Genevieve for
years and, yeah, she was a little overly friendly at times but that was all it
was.  And Jared would certainly never look twice at another wolf now that he
had Jensen.
  Chris sighed and shook his head, 'You do     realise    that that's not what
Jensen would see right?  He already has trouble believing you want him so try
and keep your    kissing    ex-girlfriends to a minimum, at least until you and
your boy are a little more settled into whatever it is you two have.'  Jared
bristled at the advice; he knew how to take care of his potential mate even if
he could feel the uncurling of guilt spreading through his gut at Chris'
words.  'Look, man, I'm not trying to step on any toes here but I know Jensen
and I don't want him hurt and I think you're the one that could really do that
if you fuck this up.’  The shorter man paused and sighed.  ‘So…just don't
okay.'
  Jared glared at Chris for implying that he might hurt Jensen but deflated
when he     realised    that the other wolf really did care for Jensen.  Chris
had been a good friend to him and the new werewolf, and despite his own
feelings for Jensen, had wholly supported their relationship.  'Thanks Chris,
you're right man, I’ll go talk to him.'
  'Don't.  You'll only embarrass him; just make sure that your attention
focuses on him and how much he means to you.  And try to stay away from
Genevieve, we all know she wants you and Jensen can probably see it too.' 
Jared nodded.  As Chris turned to leave he looked at Jared with a mischievous
glint in his eye, 'And Jared, I will completely support your relationship with
Jensen because it makes both of you happy but if you fuck this up, believe me,
man, I will be the first in line to look after him.'  Jared nodded again,
knowing his friend wasn't completely joking despite his light tone.
  Jared walked back into the house mulling over Chris' advice and determined to
make his potential mate feel loved on their date tomorrow.


***** Chapter Fourteen. *****
Chapter Notes
     Soundtrack to Chapter Fourteen: Katherine Jenkins- ‘Tell Me I’m Not
     Dreaming.’ To me, this song really describes how Jensen feels about
     his relationship with Jared and how Jared has made him believe again
     and brought him back to the world.
_ Chapter_Fourteen._
_Jared._
 Jared had decided to keep their second date on the territory; a romantic
dinner at the restaurant    Danneel    ran would be perfect.  Jared decided
they'd walk, it was a clear night and they could see the stars shining above
them. 
 'So how are things going at the clinic, you think you wanna stay there?' 
Jared asked, wanting to see if Jensen’s enjoyed the clinic as much as everyone
enjoyed having him there.
 'Yeah, I really like it, Chris and Misha are great, but I'm not really sure if
I should be working somewhere so important, Alpha.'  Jensen replied steadily.
 'Why not?'  From everything Jared had heard, Jensen was doing a wonderful
job.  He pitched in and helped out everywhere; Misha had been training him to
do simple examinations and take blood and had said that Jensen learned faster
than any apprentice he'd ever worked with.  Chris had told him that Jensen was
a natural with the pups and that the clinic was running more smoothly than it
had in years thanks to all of Jensen's help.  Therefore, what Jensen had just
said made no sense.
 'I'm not qualified to do anything, Jared, you really shouldn't leave the
pack's health to someone like me.'  He continued sadly, toying with a loose
thread on his shirt cuff.
 'Well, Misha said he's training you up to be his assistant and that you're
learning really fast.  You don't think so?'
 'He is, but I'm pretty sure there's someone better that could be helping him,
you know; Genevieve said that all of Misha's other assistants had medical
degrees before they even started and some of them had worked at practices
before they had even joined the pack.  I mean, why on earth would they want me
there?  I'm sure there's someone better who can help them out.'  Jensen
explained.  Jared could see what it was costing him to admit that he thought he
wasn’t good enough to    fulfil    the role at the clinic.  But Jensen’s
priority had always been other people’s well-being, so it was unsurprising that
he put his own wishes aside if he felt someone else could do a better job than
him when it came to looking after the pack.  The thing was Jared genuinely
didn’t think there was a better person than Jensen to do that, he just needed
to convince Jensen of that too.
 Jared frowned, what Jensen had said wasn't true at all.  Most of the Misha’s
and Chris’ assistants had been a nightmare which was why they didn't work at
the clinic anymore.  Jesus, just remembering the mess Matt had made the first
day that he'd worked there, it didn't even bear thinking about.  Oh, and
Jonathon, he had made the kids cry every time they saw him; politely put, he
had been a total and unmitigated disaster. 
It wasn't a problem, the two of them just weren't suited to working in the
clinic; Jonathon worked in construction now and Matt was a third grade
teacher.  Jared didn't know how Genevieve could have forgotten how horrendous
the other interns had been, God, she'd complained enough about them when they
had worked there. 
 'I don't think anyone could do a better job than you, Jensen.  Misha told me
the kids love you and he and Chris love having you work there with them.'
 'Really?'  The hopeful lilt to Jensen's voice was so cute, Jared couldn't help
but give Jensen a quick kiss on the end of his nose.  The snuffle and quiet
laugh Jensen gave in response made him smile fondly at his boyfriend.
 'Really, so unless you don't enjoy working there, I'm going to recommend that
that becomes your permanent position in the pack.'  Jared had been thinking
about it for the last couple of weeks and, after consulting Misha, Chris and
Mike on the subject, had decided he would pitch the idea to Jensen.
 Jensen nodded enthusiastically, 'I'd really like that, Alpha, I'll stay
there...well until someone better comes along.'
 'Not gonna happen, Jensen.'  Jared took Jensen's hand and squeezed it
soothingly as they walked.  ‘Not gonna happen.’
 ****
 The restaurant wasn't overly busy since mates were often happy to just spend
time together at home, so most of the wolves gathered were either friends or
courting pairs. 
 Jared had booked a table right in the back where he could keep Jensen all to
himself and make Jensen feel as comfortable as possible.
 Jared picked up the menus and passed one to Jensen.  He scanned the options
even though he knew what he was having; he had it every time he came here.
 He looked across the table to ask Jensen what he would like to have and saw
Jensen biting his lip.  'What is it Jen?'
 'I...I can't afford this, Alpha.'  Jensen whispered, looking down at the table
and playing with the napkin by his plate.  Jared knew that Jensen was getting a
wage from the clinic now but he also knew it wasn't much; Jensen had refused to
take more than he felt he deserved.  Jared had had to be pretty firm with the
Beta to stop him from working for free since everyone earned a wage in the
pack. 
 They'd finally settled on the lowest wage Jared could get Jensen to agree to
and Jensen had already started paying Jared rent for living in his house. 
Jared wasn't terribly happy about that, he liked taking care of the Beta and,
if Jensen became his, it would be his job to look after him anyway. 
 Despite their equal status in Jared's Pack's, once any children were born
Betas more often than not stayed at home to look after them.  Evolutionally,
most Betas found it very hard to leave their new pups at home and most Alphas
preferred to go out to work to be able to provide and protect the ones they
loved.  It was just the way things worked and there were few who deviated from
that social construct. 
 He had a feeling, though, that if he claimed Jensen, the younger wolf would
still like to work but it would probably be on more of a volunteer basis which
Jensen seemed much more comfortable with anyway.
 This place was expensive and Jensen's    meagre    salary wouldn't allow for a
glass of their wine let alone a whole meal.  Jared had allowed Jensen to pay
for his own cinema ticket on their last date, despite the Alpha in him
screaming at how wrong that was, but this would be his treat.
 'Don't worry about it Jensen, this one’s on me, I asked you so I'm paying.' 
Jared stated.
 'But, Jared, I owe you so much already; I can't let you pay for this as
well.'  Jensen protested, still wringing the life out of his napkin.
 'Jen, you don't owe me anything and I like taking care of you, it's my job.' 
He said sincerely and smiled when Jensen blushed.  'You have whatever you want
alright.'
 Jensen nodded but still ordered the cheapest thing on the menu when the
waitress came to take their order.  Jared shook his head but let it go, he
supposed it was better than when Jensen had needed him to order for him, at
least the Beta had made the decision for himself.
 Whilst they waited for their food, Jared asked Jensen about the hospital and
what he had been doing there that week and, instantly, Jensen eyes brightened. 
He started talking, animatedly, about all the interesting cases he'd seen
without a hint hesitation in his voice, like there would have been had the
younger wolf been talking about pretty much anything else.  But Jensen had such
a passion for his work at the clinic that Jared found he could coax him into
talking about the place for hours without Jensen even noticing.  Jared could
feel the fond smile spreading across his face as Jensen continued.  It was so
obvious that the man in front of him was born to take care of this pack given
the way he spoke of every pack member so warmly.
 'And, Karen brought little Marissa in again this week and Misha thinks she'll
be able to get the cast of much quicker than he had first thought.  She was
really excited and she asked me if I'd be there to hold her hand, Jay.'  He
looked up at Jared with shining eyes, 'She reallywanted me to be there.'
 Jared reached across the table and took Jensen's hand in his, 'Of course she
wants you there, Jensen.  You know, after her accident she came straight to me
to tell me that your signature was the first one she had gotten on her cast. 
She was so damn proud.  Marissa said that you held her other hand and that it
didn't hurt half as much as it had before you came in to talk to her.  I think
she's got a bit of a crush on you actually.'  He teased, and smiled when Jensen
blushed and fiddled with his napkin again.  He didn't miss the small smile on
Jensen's face, though, so Jared knew that, although the other man was
embarrassed, he hadn't gone too far.
 Then they talked about how the students that Jared taught at the gym were
progressing; Jared was pretty passionate about his work himself, thinking it
important that every wolf be given the opportunity to learn how to defend
themselves.  Jensen listened with the same rapt attention that he always did
whenever Jared talked.  It was almost addictive to have that kind of focus from
Jensen, and Jared tried very hard not to imagine what it would be like to
always have Jensen there to listen to how his day had been or to help him sort
through the pros and cons of a pack decision.  It was just too early to start
thinking about that yet, that didn't stop his mind trying to though.
 Jensen declined dessert, of course he did, so Jared ordered his two favourite
things; a slice of chocolate fudge cake and a bowl of honeycomb ice cream. 
 ‘You have gotta try this cake, Jensen, I swear to God, Danneel is the best
baker in the entire world.’  He dug his fork into the cake and held it up for
Jensen to eat.
 ‘I really shouldn’t.’  Jensen bit his lip, looking between Jared and the
chocolate cake on the fork.
 ‘You really should, believe me, if death by chocolate were really a way to go,
I’d die happy after eating this.’  Jared smiled and Jensen opened his mouth to
take the piece of cake.  Jared froze as he watched Jensen’s full lips close
around the fork and his tongue dart out to lick the crumbs away after.  The
moan Jensen gave as he tasted the chocolate was almost obscene and Jared was
pleased he’d worn his loose slacks. 
 Jensen opened his eyes, ‘Wow, that really is amazing.’
 ‘It totally is.’  Jared looked Jensen right in the eye hoping that the younger
wolf understood that he wasn’t talking about the cake.  The flush told him
Jensen did.  ‘We’ll take a couple of pieces home with us to have for dessert
tomorrow, here, have some more while I have some ice cream.’  Jared pushed the
cake across the table to Jensen hoping the man wouldn’t be able to resist
another taste of Danneel’s awesome dessert. 
 It was always difficult to get Jensen to eat, the wolf had put on some weight
since he had come to the pack, but not nearly enough for Jared’s liking.  He
wanted the Beta healthy and happy and he needed to bang out all those
insecurities that Morgan put in Jensen’s head.  Plus, with all the extra
exercise they were going to be doing on the full moon, Jensen was going to need
to start eating like a six foot werewolf again rather than a two inch mouse.
 Jared brought his own spoon up to his mouth and started eating his honeycomb
ice cream, subtly watching Jensen fret over whether to have another mouthful or
not.  He smiled into his dessert when he saw Jensen take another bite and close
his eyes at the taste.  It was a pretty mesmerizing sight and, in that moment,
Jared was glad he’d gotten them some privacy; enough of the Alphas of the pack
were already interested in Jensen but the look of bliss on Jensen’s face
wouldn’t have helped to lessen their attraction. 
 Once Jared had finished his ice cream he put down his spoon.  Jensen had
already put down his own fork and Jared took that to mean that he really wasn’t
going to eat anymore.  He’d done a good job on the cake, half of it was gone
which was better than Jared had expected.
 ‘God, Jay, I haven’t eaten chocolate in years.’  Jensen leaned back in the
chair and looked utterly content.  Jared wished he could keep Jensen that way
forever.
 ‘Well, we’ll just have to make up for lost time then won’t we, believe me I
have absolutely no problem having chocolate with every meal.  Misha and I have
argued time and time again about whether chocolate is actually a food group and
since I’m the Head Alpha, I say it totally is.’
 Jensen laughed, a real, honest to God, belly laugh.  Jensen looked about as
shocked as Jared was by it and flushed a deep red.  ‘I know I’m freaking
awesome.’  That earned him a soft smile from Jensen that sent tendrils of
warmth through Jared’s whole body.
 ‘Yeah, you really are.’  Jensen said quietly, the napkin in his hand again and
the soft smile still on his face.
 Jared reached over and pecked Jensen on the lips, ‘Glad you think so, baby,
‘cause I think you’re pretty damn awesome too.’ 


***** Chapter Fifteen. *****
Chapter Notes
     Soundtrack to Chapter Fifteen: Barlow Girl- ‘I Need You To Love Me.’
     This song describes all of Jensen’s issues and the insecurities he
     has about Jared’s ability to love someone like him even though he
     desperately wants Jared to. It also links into him comparing himself
     to Genevieve and finding himself not good enough but begging Jared to
     stay with him anyway.
_ Chapter_Fifteen._
_Jensen._
 They were walking home, hand in hand, quietly arguing over which film trilogy
was better, Star Wars or Indiana Jones (the newer additions to each collection
didn't count in either of their opinions).  Jared was coming down firmly on the
Star Wars side whereas Jensen was for Indiana Jones all the way. 
 Their conversation was interrupted by someone calling Jared's name behind
them.  They both stopped abruptly and turned around to see who it was.  It was
Genevieve.  Jensen thought she was a nice person and all, she’d always been
pleasant to everyone but him, and he knew that she was important to Jared but
he really didn't want to see her right now; he didn't want anything to ruin the
wonderful night he'd had.  'Oh Jared, I'm so glad I caught you.' 
 Genevieve placed a possessive hand on Jared's forearm, it was such an intimate
gesture that Jensen suddenly wished, for the first time that evening, that he
was somewhere else.  Jensen ducked his head and walked away slightly, giving
Jared and Genevieve some privacy. 
 To Jensen's surprise, he felt an arm circle his waist and looked up to see
Jared looking down at him tenderly.
 'What is it Genevieve?  I'm actually busy with Jensen this evening.'  That
sent a thrill up Jensen’s spine and he felt himself blush.
 Jensen looked over at Genevieve and was taken aback by the cold look in her
eyes aimed solely at him.  Jensen didn't know what he'd done to make the other
woman dislike him so much, he had always been polite to her at work and tried
to help her out when he could.  As soon as she looked at Jared, though, the
look was gone, to be replaced by one that held only warmth and a touch of
something else.  Jensen stomach’s twisted when he recognised what it was;
lust. 
 Of course, the other wolf clearly still wanted Jared even if he was supposedly
with Jensen.  Who wouldn't?  Oh God, and how could Jensen ever compete with
Genevieve if she decided to make a play for the Alpha?  He felt the blood run
from his face as he looked from Genevieve to Jared and was struck, again, by
how well the two of them would fit together; both beautiful, both perfect, and
both so out of Jensen's league.
 He felt the arm tighten around his waist, and saw Jared looking down at him
again.  'You alright, Jen?'  He nodded rapidly, there was no way he would risk
looking that needy, not with Genevieve standing there looking so composed.
 'Alright.'  Jared didn't look awfully convinced and Jensen kicked himself
being so pathetic as Jared turned back to Genevieve.
 'One of the wolves at the Northern Territory Boundary said he smelt a foreign
wolf.'  Jensen tensed, that could mean Jeff, no-one from Jared's pack would be
all that familiar with the werewolf’s scent.  He might have come back for
Jensen. 
 'Who was it?  Who was the guard?'  Jared demanded, all Alpha now, and had it
not been for the fear of Jeff’s return then Jensen would have been really
turned on by that.
 'Oh, I didn't catch his name, Jay, he was just filling in apparently, but I
said I'd come find you and send you up there to check it out.'  Jensen heard
Jared curse softly next to him.
 'I'm really sorry, Jared, but I told him you'd be there within the hour. I
didn't realise you were out with Jensen.’  The way she said his name sent a
chill down Jensen's spine, no-one said his name like that and he really didn't
like it.  'I think you need to go now to make it, sorry.'  She didn't sound all
that sorry to Jensen and her eyes betrayed none of the remorse that she claimed
to feel.
 'Jen, baby, I'm really sorry but I'm going to have to go and check this out.' 
Jared kissed him on the forehead, 'I'll be back as soon as I can and we can
have a movie marathon and I’ll convince you I’m totally right about Star
Wars.'  Jensen smiled up at Jared, trying to make it as genuine as possible
with Genevieve watching him so intensely. 
 Jensen understood completely that Jared had important responsibilities and it
was something he loved about the Alpha.  The man took his job of looking after
his pack very seriously.  'Alright, I’ll see you back at the house later, Jen.'
 'Don't worry Jared, I'll walk Jensen back for you.'  She smiled sweetly at the
tall man.
 'Thanks Genevieve, bye.'  With that, Jared shifted and ran across the
territory to the North.
 ****
 Genevieve took Jensen’s arm and linked it through her own as she started to
direct them back to Jared's house.  'Did you have a nice time tonight,
Jensen?'  She asked casually.
 'Yeah, it was great, thanks.'  He had been having a great time until Genevieve
had shown up, but, of course, he didn't add that last part. 
 'Yes, I remember Jared does know how to show a girl, I mean a guy, a good
time.'  Jensen wasn't sure but it felt like he'd just been insulted.  'He took
me to Danneel's all the time when we were dating and let me order whatever I
wanted, he was always so generous like that.  And, God, he ordered this
fantastic chocolate cake that we shared over the table, it was so romantic.' 
Jensen bit his lip, nervously, that sounded terribly familiar
 'Oh, and we took some chocolate sauce home to have some fun with, you know
what I mean Jen?  Of course you do.'  She winked at him and giggled the same
high laugh he had heard in the clinic all those weeks ago.  Jensen felt sick;
no, he didn't know.  Jensen rubbed the back of his neck, had that been what
Jared had planned for tonight but then decided against it after the disaster
date Jensen had probably been compared to someone like Genevieve. 
 Jensen had felt the date had gone well, that they'd connected on a whole new
level but now Jensen realised that was probably just him.  How could Jensen
possibly compare to someone like Genevieve?  He felt humiliated; Jared must be
wondering why on Earth he had wasted all that money and time on Jensen when he
could have been with someone like Genevieve.  The woman wasn't subtle about
what she wanted, after all, not if Jensen, as stupid as he was, was able to see
her intentions.
 'Sweetie, I've been meaning to talk to you.  Jason, who works at the building
site down on Maple Street, was talking about you the other day, and I think
he'd be interested in going out on a date with you.  I told him that I'd ask
you.'  She looked at him expectantly as though actually waiting for an answer.
 'I…but...Jared.'   Jensen pointed off in the direction that Jared had left in.
 He didn't know how to explain; she knew he'd just been on a date with Jared
right?
 'Oh, you and Jared?  Really?’  She stared at him for a moment, an incredulous
look on her face.  ‘It’s just I’ve known him a long time and he didn't look all
that into...'  She looked him up and down before she caught herself and stopped
but Jensen saw it anyway and turned bright red.  She coughed, clearly
embarrassed. 
 'Sorry…my mistake.  I'll tell Jason for you, you won't have to worry about all
that then.  Though you might want to stop making yourself look so available
then, Jen; some of the Alphas are getting the wrong idea about you.'  Jensen's
mouth dropped open.  What did she mean?  What was he doing?  He subtly looked
down at his clothes, they didn’t seem all that provocative to him, and he
thought back to his interactions with the other werewolves, how could possibly
have been flirting with them when he found it difficult to talk to most of them
half the time?
 But hadn’t Jeff and Jake always said that there was just something about him
that    said    he was begging for it?  He swallowed loudly, trying to keep his
tears of humiliation at bay.  'Look I’m just saying you kind of send off
signals that you want to be mated and, if you don't, I'd try and tone it down a
bit if I were you, honey.'  Jensen's blush deepened further, was that true? 
Jesus Christ.  And how the hell was he supposed to stop something that he
didn't even know he was doing?!
 'Oh, here we are, we're back.'  Genevieve said cheerfully, disentangling their
arms and waiting for him to open the door.  'See you at work tomorrow Jensen.' 
She gave him a pat on the arm and left.  Jensen's shaking hands rushed to open
the door and close it quickly behind himself, eager to get away from the
werewolf world as soon as possible.  So much for not ruining his night.
 ****
 Jensen, therefore, didn’t see the self-satisfied smile Genevieve had on her
face as she walked away from Jared’s house knowing that no border guard had
sensed a foreign wolf near the territory.  Nor did Jensen see her throwing away
the receipt from his and Jared’s dinner at a restaurant the Alpha had never
taken her or any other date before.  She whistled all the way back to her home,
it had been a good night for her.
 ****
_Jared._
 Jared let himself quietly into the house.  It had taken him five hours to get
back to his boyfriend.  When he had made to the Northern Border, no-one could
tell him anything and no-one knew the name of the wolf who had been filling in
as he seemed to have forgotten to sign his name in the log book.  So Jared had
taken two wolves out to search the free territory to the North of their
boundaries to make sure that the foreign wolf was gone. 
 Neither he nor his chosen scouts could find any trace of another wolf and
though Jared was pleased by that outcome, since it meant no immediate trouble
would come to his pack, he was sure Jensen would be asleep by now since it was
nearing four in the morning. 
 Jared walked silently into the living room and was met by such an charming
picture, all his irritation drained away.   Jensen was huddled at one end of
the couch, a duvet pulled tightly around him, and a book open on the couch next
to him.  He’d clearly been waiting up for Jared since the opening menu of the
Star Wars DVD was playing on the TV.   
 Jared sat down next to Jensen, on the leather sofa, and ran his thumb softly
across the smaller man’s cheek.  He was surprised when the duvet-wrapped-Jensen
uncurled slightly, moved closer to Jared and curled himself into his side, his
face coming to rest in the crook of Jared’s neck.  Jensen fit so perfectly
against him that Jared couldn’t imagine any future where this Beta wasn’t his. 
‘God, you have no idea how perfect you are, do you?’  The Beta snuffled against
his neck and Jared smiled, ‘Well, if it takes the rest of my life to show you,
then that’s what I’ll do.’  Jared scooped the wolf up in his arms, keeping him
close, and mounted the stairs.

***** Chapter Sixteen. *****
Chapter Notes
     Soundtrack to Chapter Sixteen: Savage Garden- ‘Truly, Madly, Deeply.’
     This song portrays how I think Jared feels about Jensen and their
     future together; he simply cannot imagine that they won’t be together
     forever.
__ Chapter_Sixteen.__
__Jensen.__
  Jensen woke up on something soft, clearly Jared had had to put him to bed
again; he’d been desperate to stay awake and he hadn’t even been able to manage
that.  He shifted slightly and looked at the alarm clock on his bedside table. 
Shit!  It was half twelve, he should have been at the clinic hours ago. 
Stupid, stupid, stupid!
  He jumped out of bed and grabbed the first thing he could find and quickly
changed into it.  A knock at the door stopped his whirlwind of activity and
Jared entered, a tray in hand.  ‘Sit down, Jen.  I’ve called the clinic, you’ve
got the day off.’
  ‘But...but…’  Jensen had let them down, and after they’d been so kind about
him to Jared.  He looked helplessly around the room, he felt like crying; what
if they didn’t want him to work there anymore now that he’d shown how
unreliable he was?  It was the one thing he could think of that could make
Jared proud of him and he’d gone and screwed it up, just like he did everything
else.    
  ‘Hey...hey.  Come on, none of that.’  Jensen felt strong arms wrap around him
and pull him into Jared’s broad chest.  ‘It’s alright.  Misha told me you
haven’t had a day off since you started working there, Jen.  You know, you’re
supposed to have two days off a week right?’  Jensen did know that, but he
figured that if he worked longer hours then he could maybe make up for the fact
that he was such a poor substitute for the helpers they’d had before.  Jensen
nodded weakly.  ‘Well consider this your first day off, baby, and we’re gonna
spend it together.’ 
  That brought their     disastrous    date from the night before to Jensen’s
mind, or more accurately, Jared’s fantastic date and Jensen’s epic failure to
live up to Jared’s past girlfriends. 
  ****
__Jared.__
  Jared felt Jensen tense in his arms at the suggestion that they spend the day
together.  He couldn’t understand that, their date had been wonderful last
night, it was the best date he’d ever been on and despite the interruption at
the end he thought that Jensen had enjoyed himself as well.  No, he was
positive that Jensen had enjoyed himself.  So what was this about then?
  ‘Do you not want to spend the day with me Jen?’  Jared asked, even though he
was pretty sure that that wasn’t the case.
  Jensen pulled away then, ‘Nonono, that’s not it, it’s just…haven’t you got
something more important to do since you gave me all that time last night?’ 
The first answer that came to Jared’s mind was ‘no, nothing,’ there was nothing
that would ever be more important to him than Jensen, even his pack.  It was a
startling revelation since the pack had been his priority for years now, but it
was true nonetheless. 
  Then the rest of the sentence filtered through as he thought of an answer to
give Jensen that wouldn’t freak the younger wolf out.  ‘Gave me all that
time,’as though the date had been purely for Jensen’s benefit, as a favour to
Jensen, as if it had been some kind of chore for Jared.  Well, that wasn’t
right.   Plus Jared had had to bail out on the end of the evening, as well, and
he definitely wanted to make that up to Jensen. 
  ‘Well, to be honest, Jen, I don’t think we finished the very important
discussion we were having last night and I know I just won’t be able to
concentrate on anything else until we do.’  Jared said seriously, biting his
cheek to keep from grinning at Jensen’s worried look.  Jared held up two DVD
box sets, Star Wars and Indiana Jones, and let his grin break out.  ‘Which one
do you want to watch first?’
  The smile he received was damn near blinding.  Jared put out his hand, and
led Jensen down the stairs to the couch, the lunch tray forgotten in Jensen’s
room in favour of sweets and popcorn.
  ****
  Half way through ‘The Empire Strikes Back’, Jared felt eyes on him.  He
turned his head to the side and Jensen’s eyes skittered away back to the screen
but the man couldn’t help the flush that rose to his cheeks at being caught. 
  Jared smiled and reached for Jensen’s hand, giving it a little squeeze.  ‘You
okay there, Jen?’  Jensen nodded but didn’t turn his flushed face back to him. 
Well, Jared couldn’t have that so he reached over and pulled the smaller man
into his side, chuckling at the surprised yelp that elicited from the wolf,
until they were sharing the same couch cushion.  ‘That’s better.’  He placed an
arm around Jensen’s middle and settled them back down to watch the film.
  A little while later, Jared felt Jensen playing with the hem of his shirt and
though there was nothing remotely sexual behind the move for Jensen, it was
still sending all kinds of naughty signals to Jared’s traitorous body. 
  ‘I…I’m sorry I’m not very good at dates, Alpha.  I never went on any before I
met you but…but I can do better, I promise.’  Ah, so that was what all this was
about then. 
  ‘Why don’t you think you’re good at dates, Jen?’  He asked carding a hand
through Jensen’s soft hair, that was fast becoming one of his favourite things
to do and it seemed to help calm the younger werewolf, as well, as he
consciously leaned into the touch.
  ‘I just…I just know that the other people you’ve dated are more…’  He seemed
to struggle to find the word we wanted so Jared decided to simply cut this off
before it went any further.
  ‘Jensen, believe me, not one person I’ve dated has ever made me feel the way
you do, alright.  You’re perfect just the way you are.’  He felt the expected
headshake against his shoulder.  ‘You are, Jensen.  And even if you don’t see
it, everyone else does and, one day, I’m going to make sure you see it too.’ 
He kissed the top of Jensen’s head and felt some of the tension fall away from
the other man’s body.


***** Chapter Seventeen. *****
Chapter Notes
     Soundtrack to Chapter Seventeen: Simon and Garfunkel ‘The Sound of
     Silence.’ Jensen’s facing demons from the past that he thought he’d
     left behind long ago here. I always feel this song is like looking
     into oblivion, it feels hopeless to me, and that was kind of what I
     felt Jensen would be feeling in this chapter; everything falling away
     just as he’d gotten his life back.
__ Chapter_Seventeen.__
__Jensen.__
  The last week had been uneventful at the clinic; everything had been focused
on making sure that Katie was ready to deliver her pups so there wasn’t an
awful lot left for Jensen to do that he hadn’t already done.  So he was sat
behind the receptionist desk, twiddling his thumbs, hoping that nobody rang or
knocked on the clinic doors.  Misha was off the territory getting more supplies
from town and Chris was over at Katie's delivering her litter. 
  Genevieve had called in sick so Jensen had been left alone to mind the clinic
till Chris got back and he was nervous as hell; he'd been studying with Chris
and Misha since he’d started at the clinic and could do some minor procedures
like take blood or blood pressure or listen to someone's chest but anything
more than that was still somewhat beyond him.  He was really only manning the
post; he had Chris’ cell number if he needed him but he was determined to
handle this on his own and not call his friend.  That didn’t mean he wasn't
terrified at being left alone with all that responsibility.
  Jensen was busy filling in the charts left over from yesterday's cases when
all the lights abruptly went out.
  'Crap.'  Jensen cursed, figuring the breaker must have blown, and felt along
the wall for the supply closet to get a torch.  His night-vision was far better
than a normal human's but it was still pretty weak compared to the night vision
he had in his werewolf form.  Unfortunately, he hadn’t mastered shifting
without the moon yet so he’d just have to rely on his human eyesight.  He
fumbled with the door and then grabbed the torch that was on the shelf inside. 
Jensen flicked the on switch but nothing happened.
  'Of course.’  He mumbled.  Jensen had no idea where the fuses were in the
clinic and decided calling Misha was probably better than calling Chris.  Misha
was less likely to be busy and he could just talk Jensen through whatever he
needed to do.
  Jensen picked up the phone on the desk and held it to his ear to begin
dialling    but, as soon as the phone met his ear, he knew something was
wrong.  There was no dial tone, the thing was dead; that was strange, Jensen
was pretty sure that the phone line wasn't connected to the lights at the
clinic.  Jensen went to grab his cell phone from where he had left on the desk
only to realise that it was gone.  'What the…?'
  This was getting a little too much for him now and he decided that, even if
it made him a total girl, he was going to wait outside until Chris got back and
endure any mocking he might have to over his fear of the dark.  It was better
than standing in said dark as the hair prickled on the back of his neck.
  Jensen walked over to the front doors and pushed, only to find them locked. 
He pulled on them and heard them rattle, it was padlocked.  On the inside.
 They never padlocked the doors; Jensen didn't even think the clinic had a
padlock for them.  Which meant whomever had locked them had brought the chain
and the padlock with them.  Jensen pulled harder, panic setting in.
  Suddenly, Jensen felt something hot against his neck and the next moment he
was on his back writhing in agony. 'Nononono.'  The pain radiated down his
spine to his legs and he could feel the tears prick at the side of his eyes as
his neck burned at the contact.  Silver.  Jensen felt his arms wrenched behind
his back, as he was rolled onto his front, and he cried out when the burning
sensation flared up around his wrists as the familiar silver cuffs were shut
around them. 
  'Hey Pretty, it’s been a while.'  Jensen scrambled away from Jake as fast as
he could until his back hit the wall, ignoring the pain that shot up his arms
at the contact.  'Now that's not nice, Sweetheart, where are all those good
manners Jeff and I taught you all those years ago when you were just an
insolent pup?'  Jensen shook his head in an effort to clear it, the shock of
having silver back against his skin was making it difficult to stay conscious,
let alone alert.
  'What do you want Jake?'  He tried to sound defiant but it came out rasping
as he struggled to breathe through the pain.
  'What I've always wanted.'  Jensen clenched his jaw, he knew what Jake had
always wanted, the man had told him enough, and like Hell that was going to
happen, especially not now that he'd found Jared.  'You know, I couldn't
believe itwhen Jeff told us he wouldn't share, I'd had my eye on you even
before the raid.  We all knew he hadn't really claimed you; it wouldn't have
mattered if I'd gotten my turn, but he was one possessive bastard.  It was all
I could do not to steal you away anyway.'  Jensen shivered as Jake ran a hand
down his side.  'So goddamned pretty, half the guard wanted a go but I made
sure they all knew their place and there was no way any of them were going to
have you.'
  'Jared will kill you if you do this.'  Jensen put as much venom into his
voice as possible with fear starting to claw up his throat.
  'Jared will, will he?  You sure about that, Jenny?  You sure that after I'm
done with you Jared won't finally see what you really are?'  Jake ran his thumb
across Jensen's nerve-bitten bottom lip, 'Maybe he could write Morgan off as an
asshole, but two wolves treating you that way, using you like that?  And, hey,
even I've seen the way the Alphas, here, look at you as you strut across the
territory, teasing them every day, Sweetheart.  They all look like they'd like
nothing more than to spread you open and fuck you right in front of the rest of
the pack.  You think Jared hasn't seen that too, you begging to bend over for
any of them.'  He stopped for a moment considering, 'Actually, that's probably
why you're still in his house, he's just waiting for you to give it up so he
can settle down with that stunning Beta, Genevieve, like he always wanted to.' 
  Jensen shivered and not from pleasure; he was sure that wasn't true, the
wolves of the pack had been so kind to him but his mind flashed to Chris'
proposal and Jason wanting to take him out. 
  ‘You kind of send off signals that you want to be mated’
  But they were just being friendly, right?  And Genevieve, Jared had said,
he’dpromised, they were just friends, but Jensen had seen them together, hadn't
he?  And she was beautiful, much more beautiful than Jensen could ever be.  She
was what Jared deserved.  'They all saw what I see every time I look at you,
you're a whore, Jenny, and they know your place is on your knees for your
Alpha.  Well, it's your lucky day, Sweetheart, Jared might not want you but
I'll have you.'
  Jensen's eyes widened as Jake pulled his hard cock out of his pants and
thrust it towards Jensen's face, 'Now put those cock sucking lips to good
use.'  Jensen bit out at Jake, despite the burn at his neck the movement
caused, and snarled till the wolf moved away. 'Oh, Jensen, I really didn't want
to have to do this but you brought it on yourself.'  Jensen found himself
pinned down before he knew what was happening and felt a sharp prick just above
the collar.
  Immediately, the world went out of focus and his stomach rolled, nausea
flooding his senses.  He tried to stay upright as he watched Jake's face swim
in front of him.  ‘That’s silver, darlin’, it's gonna keep you nice and quiet
for me, but don't worry you'll still be able to feel everything; we wouldn't
want you to miss anything now would we?'  He kissed Jensen roughly yanking his
face up to his own.  Jake was right, Jensen could feel everything and despite
the fact that his head was screaming at his body to bite down or claw Jake away
he just couldn't get his body to respond. 
  He felt so helpless, just like he always had with Jeff.  He closed his eyes,
trying to escape, but whimpered as he felt Jake prying open his jaws, knowing
exactly what happened next.
  ****
  Jared walked over to Katie's house to greet her new puppies and officially
welcome the new additions to his pack.  He loved baby pups, they expanded his
family and he always felt particularly protective of them.  He couldn't wait to
have some of his very own.  It showed what a good match he and Jensen were; he
had seen Jensen with the children of the pack and he was so comfortable and far
more relaxed than he was around the adult werewolves.
  Aldis let him in and Jared gave him a tight hug congratulating him on his
three baby pups.  Chris was standing next to Katie taking her blood pressure
while she fussed over her little ones with her free hand.  He was surprised and
a little pissed to see Chris there alone, he had expected Jensen to be there
too.  He knew the Beta would have loved to have been present for the birth and
to look after the new pups whilst their mummy was resting. 
  'Congratulations Katie, they’re beautiful.'  Jared stroked each of their
little heads gently and the smallest one lapped at his large finger.  He smiled
and turned to Chris, 'Where's Jen?  He was really excited about being here with
you today, he could barely sleep last night.'  It had been so cute; at two a.m.
he had found Jensen sitting on the sofa reading one of the medical books Misha
had given him about werewolf pregnancies and births.  Jared had stood watching
him as Jensen reverently flicked through the pages.  When he had smelt Jared
he’d turned round with a shy grin and told Jared that he just couldn't sleep
and Jared sat up the rest of the night listening to Jensen explain everything
he knew about werewolf gestation, his eyes alight with excitement. 
  'I had to leave him at the clinic since Meesh is out of town and Genevieve
called in sick again.'  Jared frowned, he wasn't really happy about that,
Genevieve called in sick a lot at the clinic and he firmly believed that
everyone should pull their own weight, friends or not; if it happened again he
would have to have a chat with her about it.  Added to the fact that she had
caused his boyfriend to miss something he was so looking forward to, he was
pretty pissed. 
  'I'm just gonna call him to come over for half an hour to play with the
puppies; the clinic can close up for an hour or two, everyone knows you're here
anyway.'  Jared grabbed his cell and rang Jensen's, his frown deepening when
the cell went straight to voicemail.  Jensen never turned off his phone, he was
obsessive about the fact that he should always be available if Jared wanted him
for something.  Whilst Jared didn't want it on for that purpose, he liked
Jensen to always have it on him.
  'What's the matter, Jay?' Chris looked up at him, concerned.
  'I can't get Jen on his cell.'
  'He never turns that thing off, Jay, Misha and I are always ragging on him
about it.  I'll call the clinic, he's manning the phones at the moment.'  Jared
watched his friend's face pale as he held the cell phone to his ear.  'There's
no dial tone, Jay, nothing, something's wrong.'
  Jared already knew that and he tore from the house like a wolf possessed.  He
shifted as soon as he was out the door, Chris following close behind him.  As
they neared the clinic they saw all the lights were off, the place looked
deserted.  Jared wished he'd bonded with Jensen, then he’d be able to tell if
he was okay but he couldn’t yet, he couldn't feel Jensen anything from the
younger wolf until he agreed to be his Beta. 
  Both Alphas shifted back to human form when they came to the doors of the
clinic not wanting to scare Jensen if it turned out to be just a power-cut like
they both hoped.  Jared placed a finger over his lips and counted down to
Chris.  On three, they pushed at the clinic doors only to find them locked. 
They were more than locked if two Alphas, one being the Head Alpha of the whole
pack, couldn't move them. 
  Jared shifted instantly and slammed into the doors and on their third try,
the doors gave way and Jared ran into the clinic smelling for Jensen.  He
reared back when he smelt blood and the musk of another wolf. 
  He shook his head; Jensen wouldn't cheat on him, would he?  He followed the
scent and opened one of the exam room door to see Jensen sprawled on his front
and Jake on his haunches behind him, fucking deep into the younger wolf.
  'Sorry, Alpha can you give us a minute, Jen and I are nearly done?'  Hurt
flowed through his body at the scene before him, he had thought Jensen felt the
same way, that Jensen had wanted to be his Beta.  Was it just misplaced
gratitude that had had Jensen at his side the last couple of weeks?  Jared
turned to leave but a soft, pained whimper stopped him instantly and Jared
shifted to his human form immediately. 
  Jake's expression flickered only for an instant but it was enough; Jared had
seen the panicked expression there.  Jared threw himself forward and flung the
man off of Jensen causing Jensen to fall forwards onto the floor with a pained
grunt.  Jared took in the silver collar and cuffs and rushed to Jensen's side,
kneeling next to him.
  'Jensen.'  Jared said softly and the young wolf turned his face to him,
blinking furiously, trying to focus on the voice calling his name.  Jared could
see that silver had completely taken over the green irises of the wolf and he
was surprised Jensen was still conscious with that amount of silver in his
system.  Jared reached out and tore the cuffs and collar off, breaking the
latches on both, and burning his hands in the process. 
  He watched Jensen sniff the air briefly and then found himself with a lap
full of Jensen, 'Alpha.'  Jensen murmured into his chest and he buried his face
in Jared's neck, his breath hitching every so often.  Jared was pretty sure
that it was only the silver that was allowing him so close to Jensen after
everything that had just happened but he'd take what he could get.  He wrapped
his long arms around the smaller wolf and tucked him closer into his chest. 


***** Chapter Eighteen. *****
Chapter Notes
     Soundtrack to Chapter Eighteen: Westlife- ‘Unbreakable.’ This sums up
     how Jared feels about Jensen; nothing will ever keep Jensen from
     being his forever. Nothing that happens will ever change the way he
     feels about the Beta, no matter what Jensen might think.
__ Chapter_Eighteen.__
__Jared.__
  Once Jensen's breathing had evened out and it was clear that he'd fallen
asleep, or passed out, Jared carefully carried him into one of the other exam
rooms.  Chris still had his foot on Jake's neck, as Jared passed, ready to
break it if Jared gave the word.
  Laying Jensen down, he brushed his dark blonde hair from his forehead and
placed a kiss there.  He walked out of the room, strode over to Jake and Chris
and brought himself to his full height.  Both wolves bowed their heads at that,
feeling the power of the Pack Alpha radiate through the room.
  Jared wanted Jake dead; he wanted to rip the wolf's throat out, but he
wouldn't.  Jared loathed taking human or lupine life and there was only one
crime that merited the death penalty in his pack and that was murder of a human
or another wolf.  Jake had not done so, so no matter how much Jared wanted to
kill him, he wouldn't.
  'Jake, you have two options here, you can remain with this pack and spend the
rest of your life in jail for what you’ve done or you can accept banishment and
never come within a hundred miles of my territory.'  Or me.  He thought
angrily.
  'And what's my crime, Alpha?'  Jared saw Chris' eyes flash and his foot press
down just a little harder on the neck beneath it. 
  'Chris, no.  As soon as I talk to my guards, you'll be formally charged with
the rape of the werewolf Jensen Ackles.'  Jared kept his voice calm and steady
despite his wolf roaring to get out and kill the man who had hurt his Beta. 
  'Rape?  That what he's saying?  I swear to God, Alpha, he asked me to meet
him here, he said he was all alone and that he wanted to have some fun whilst
Collins and Kane were away.'  Christ, he looked so sincere; it chilled Jared to
the bone since he knew the man was lying.
  'Really?  So explain the chains on the door?  The lights?  And the fact that
Jensen has enough silver flowing through his system to knock out a wolf three
times his size?'
  'Well, Jensen's always been a bit kinky that way.  The chains were already
here when I got here, he said he didn't want any interruptions, the lights were
apparently to set the mood and the silver?  Well, you'll have to ask him about
that, I don't really give a toss how other wolves get their rocks off but he
was already high as a kite when arrived.'  Jake explained calmly and
reasonably, as though his neck wasn’t seconds away from being crushed by one of
the strongest wolves in the pack.
  'That's bullshit, Able, and you fucking know it so cut the crap before I
accidently slip and your neck and the floor become real fucking intimate.' 
Chris growled at the wolf beneath him.
  'You're right, Jake, I'll have to wait until Jensen wakes up to get the full
story so, for now, you'll be placed in custody till that happens.  Chris, can
you take Jake away?  Aldis and Matt can watch him for tonight in the cells.' 
Chris looked at the door of the room Jensen was in for, just a moment, and
Jared felt bad for sending the other wolf away when he clearly wanted to make
sure Jensen was alright as well.  'I'll take care of him, Chris, you have my
word.'
  Chris' shoulders slumped slightly but he nodded sharply at Jared before
practically dragging Jake away.
  ****
  Jared stayed at the clinic for the next few hours waiting for the silver to
work its way out of Jensen's system.  It was true that some werewolves took
minute amounts of the stuff as a drug but that dose was hardly anything. 
Silver was dangerous to them and the amount Jensen had been given, Jared wanted
to be near medical assistance if it was needed.  Chris was working in the other
room, and manning the reception at the same time.  They hadn't had anyone come
in since Jensen had been admitted and Jared was pleased about that, he really
didn't want any prying eyes looking in on Jensen right now, especially when the
other wolf was still out cold.
  Five hours later, Jared noticed Jensen's breathing pick up and he started
squirming on the bed, his hands flexing like he was trying to get his claws
out.
  'Jensen?  Jen, can you hear me?  It's Jared.'  Jensen's eyes were still
squeezed shut but Jared was sure the other wolf was awake now.  'Jensen you
need to open your eyes for me.'  Jared allowed power to lace his words and
watched as Jensen's eyes fluttered open to look at him.  Thankfully, they were
green again, no hint of silver left within them.
  He smiled down at the smaller wolf and was saddened when the wolf turned his
face away from him.  'Jensen, can you look at me please?'  Jensen just shook
his head; Jared couldn't imagine how hard it must have been for Jensen to even
be in the same room as Jared right now but he needed Jensen to tell him what
had happened.
  Jared stood up and walked around the table, careful not to touch the other
wolf, and crouched in front of him gently catching Jensen's face before he
could bury it in the pillows on the exam table.
  'Jensen, I know this is hard,' Understatement of the fucking century, 'but I
need you to tell me what happened here with Jake.'  The trembling that had
racked Jensen's frame since he woke up, intensified, and he shook his head so
vehemently that he almost fell off the small bed.
  'I can't...please, Alpha, please don't make me, please...'  The fact that
Jensen had reverted to calling him Alpha, and not Jared, worried Jared almost
as much as the shaking but he couldn't let this go.  He needed proof to banish
Jake from the pack and he needed to get it now before news got out about what
happened and the rest of the pack were out for Abel's blood for hurting
Jensen.  He didn't know how many wolves from Morgan's pack would fight with
Jake and he didn't want a blood bath on his hands, not when he had to take care
of Jensen. 
  'Jensen.'  Authority rang through the room with that one word and Jensen
cringed away from it.  'Tell me.'  Jensen tried to refuse but Jared knew that
no Beta, especially not one as strung out and emotional as Jensen was right
now, would be able to refuse that, no matter how much he wanted to.
  'I…I was covering Genevieve's shift as she phoned in sick this morning.'  He
looked up at Jared, gauging his reaction, obviously remembering that she was
Jared's friend and quickly added, 'It wasn’t a problem, I really don't mind, I
mean we were quiet anyway with Misha being out of town and Chris over at
Katie's.  I was just sitting at the desk, kind of hoping Chris would get back
soon so I could go over to Katie's myself,' Jared saw Jensen’s eyes widen and
the man started to get up from the bed.  'Are they okay, oh my God, I can't
believe I didn't ask, Alpha, are they alright, Katie and the pups, I mean…?'
  'Stop, Jensen,'  It broke Jared's heart how easily Jensen had brushed his own
trauma aside to make sure Katie was okay.  Jared loved Katie, as he loved every
wolf in his pack, but he loved Jensen more, and Jensen was his priority right
now. 'They're all fine, Jensen, Katie had three beautiful puppies this
morning.'  Jensen relaxed and smiled for the first time since Jared had entered
the clinic.
  'That's good.'
  'You were manning the phones, Jensen?'  The smile faded from Jensen's lips
and he looked tiredly up at Jared.
  'I was manning the phones and filling out some charts when the lights went
out.  I…I didn't know where the fuses were so I went to ring Misha, just to
ask, but the phone was dead.  I didn't think the phones were on the same
circuit, you know, in case of an emergency, so I thought that was pretty
weird.  I went to grab my cell from the desk where I'd left it before the
lights went out, but it was gone.  That creeped me out and...and I decided to
wait outside till Chris came back.'  He flushed bright red at the admission.
 'I knew it was stupid, but I...I had a really bad feeling and I'm not a huge
fan of the dark when I'm alone.' 
  Jared didn't think that was remotely stupid since he was pretty sure Jensen
had spent the last four years looking over his shoulder waiting for Morgan to
pounce on him.  'I tried to pull the doors open but they were chained and I
swear I didn't do it, I swear, Alpha.  The chain wasn't there one minute, then
the next, it… it just was.  I...I panicked but before I could do anything I
felt something hot around my neck and, when I heard the clasp click closed, I
knew what it was.  I thought… I didn't even… I hadn't seen them since I left
Jeff's, how did he...I didn't put them on myself, you have to believe me, nor
the cuffs, I hate them, Alpha, I hate them, I'm sorry for being weak but I
promise, I didn't…’
  Jensen was getting worked up now and Jared didn't know what to do so he went
with his instincts and pulled Jensen into his arms rubbing soothing circles on
his back.  'I know Jen, I know, you have nothing to be sorry for,' Jensen
tensed before relaxing into Jared's hold.  Jared continued to whisper soothing
sounds into Jensen's ear until his breathing evened out and he could continue. 
He didn't let Jensen go and felt Jensen's words as puffs of air against his
throat.
  'I realised that it was Jake and tried to get way but I had nowhere to go,
and he…he said things about…about you and the pack and me wanting it.  But I
didn't, I didn't want it at all.  And he injected the silver into my neck. 
Morgan used to do it when he was....training me in the beginning and after that
I just couldn't fight him.  I know what it looked like, Alpha, but it wasn't,
it wasn't like that, you have to believe me.' 
  Jensen looked pleadingly up at Jared, begging him to believe him.  Jared
still couldn't fathom that Jensen thought he'd take Jake's word over his.  He
wanted to know what Jake had said to his boyfriend but Jensen clearly didn't
want to tell and he wasn't forcing something that would make little difference
to the outcome of Jake’s sentencing.
  'I believe you, Jensen, I know you didn't want it, and none of this was your
fault okay.'  He pulled Jensen back to look into his green eyes even as Jensen
avoided his gaze.  'Jensen you know I don't blame you for this, right?'
  A moment passed and it was too long for Jared's liking before Jensen nodded,
meek and submissive, 'Yes, Alpha,'  Not yes, Jared, this was not his boyfriend
that Jensen was talking to, it was the Pack Alpha that he didn't want to
disappoint or worse piss off enough to be sent away.
  'Not good enough, Jen.'  Jensen looked up at him then, questioning and a
little afraid, as though his apology hadn't been enough to save him from
whatever punishment he felt he'd earned.  Well, Jared would just have to
clarify this for him then, make it nice and clear what he wanted.  'You're
talking to me right now, Jared your boyfriend, not the Pack Alpha.'  If
anything, Jensen looked more confused than ever.
  'You still...'  Jensen clamped his mouth closed, cutting off the thought he
clearly hadn't meant to let loose but it was all Jared needed to understand
what was going on in his young wolf's mind.
  'Of course I still.'  He pulled Jensen down into his lap, inhaling his scent.
 'I will always want you Jensen, always.'  He felt a shiver down Jensen spine
at that. 'You're my Beta if you want to be.'  They hadn't really talked about
it since Jared hadn’t known when it would be best to bring up something like
that.  But something told him that now was the right time.  Jensen would know
that Jared still loved him, still wanted him, and more importantly that he
didn't blame Jensen or think him tainted in any way. 
  He heard the hitch in Jensen's voice at the word Beta and knew that it had
been the right time.  Jared just held him tighter when he felt the dampness
against his chest through his shirt.  'Mine.'  He whispered and kissed Jensen
on the temple. 
  ****
  Jared had taken Jensen home once the Beta had fallen asleep wrapped up in his
arms.  He put Jensen in his bed, it was larger and more comfy than Jensen’s,
and he hoped it sent the message to Jensen that he was Jared's and that Jared
would always want him at his side.  Chris sat on the couch with Mike, who'd
come over as soon as Jared had called him.
  'So did you get what we needed to charge Abel?'  Chris asked, not looking up
from his beer.
  'Yeah, I got what I need.'  Jared sighed, sometimes it was hard being the
Pack Alpha, but that day, it had been even worse.  He had wanted nothing more
than to rip Jake apart with his bare hands but he led his pack by example and
always had.  Jared had to think about what was best for the pack and the past
had shown him that violence was never the best option.  'He'll be banished, but
you know I'm kind of hoping he fights me on it so I can kill him without
breaking any of our laws.'  It was true, if Jake initiated a duel, Jared was
well within his rights to tear him apart and, by God, he would.  Chris and Mike
both nodded, obviously feeling similar sentiments as Jared.
  'How's Jensen, Jared?'  Mike asked quietly.  After everything, Jared wasn't
sure how this latest setback was going to affect the younger werewolf.
  'Honestly, I don't know.  I don't know if it will set him back or help drive
him forward, all I know is I'll be with him either way.'  The other two nodded,
even if Chris' jaw was clenched tight as he did so.  'I've asked him to be my
Beta, he didn't agree but he didn't shy away, either, so I'm taking that as a
good sign.  I think he's going to be okay though, guys, we just need to be
careful.'  The other two nodded again and rose to leave.  Mike was gone when
Chris turned around.
  'Jared, you're one of my oldest friends, and my Pack Alpha, I'd follow you
wherever you asked me to go.'  Jared nodded his thanks.  'But if you hurt him,
Alpha or no, nothing will stop me from kicking your ass and opening my door to
him if he asks, got it?' 
  Jared knew that he had nothing to fear from Chris, not only was he larger and
stronger, the pack would follow Jared first and Chris second.  But it was nice
to know that although the wolf cared deeply for Jensen, probably even loved
him, he was willing to let the Jensen go if that was what made him happy.
 Chris was probably as shaken by the events of that day as Jared was and this
was his way of dealing with those emotions.  'Got it Chris, and believe me, I'd
rather chew off my own arm than hurt him.' 
  Chris turned and left, shifting into his wolf form and heading out to the
woods, the wolf probably needing some time to himself, now that Jensen was well
beyond his reach.  Jared felt for him but he also couldn't help the possessive
mental cheer that his main rival saw Jensen as his too.


***** Chapter Nineteen. *****
Chapter Notes
     Soundtrack to Chapter Nineteen: Ewan McGregor (again originally by
     Elton John!)- Your Song. I just thought the lyrics were really
     appropriate for Jared’s feelings for Jensen.
__ Chapter_Nineteen.__

__Jared.__
  Jared walked over to the house that several of Morgan's inner circle had been
staying in since they had accepted his leadership.  He knocked on the door. 
James, a large man, opened it and nodded to Jared,
  'Alpha, can I help you?'  The tone was pleasant, most of these guys were like
soldiers and just followed orders, regardless of their own feelings for their
Pack leaders.  Jared didn't really like it, he wanted to bond with all the
wolves in his pack but he knew it would take time for them all to adjust to
their new surroundings and while it didn't cause any trouble he'd take what he
could get from Morgan's strange pack mates.
  'Is Jake in?'  He asked casually even though he knew that the wolf had been
watched all night by his guards.
  James nodded and called for Jake.  Jake descended the stairs, easy as you
please, and that just riled Jared up even more. 'Alpha, what can I do for you
this fine morning?'  It was so reminiscent of Morgan that Jared had to grip the
door frame to stop himself from attacking the guy.
  'You, Abel, can pack your shit and get the hell out of my territory.'  Jared
had meant to be polite, explain what was going to happen, and what would happen
if Abel ever came back but a memory of Jensen slumped down in front of the wolf
flashed before his eyes, unleashing his inner Alpha.
  Jake seemed as surprised by the outburst as Jared.  'What?!  I don't
understand?'
  'You're banished from my pack Jake Abel, and if you ever come within a
hundred miles of our borders again I will not hesitate to tear your throat
out.  Is that clear enough for you?'  Jared snarled.
  Jake just smiled indulgently, 'Is this about Jenny because I told you it was
totally consensual, he begged me for it.'  The bastard even had the audacity to
laugh when he added, 'He's always been like this, Jared; he was always up for
it at Morgan's.  This whole virgin thing he’s got going on is an act, he likes
nothing more than getting his ass reamed and he doesn’t care who by.'  Jared
didn't even realise he'd moved over the threshold until he had Abel by the neck
against the wall.
  'Shut your fucking mouth before I rip your jaw off.  Get. Your. Shit. And.
Go.'  He dropped the wolf, satisfied when the man crumpled into a heap at his
feet. 'Don't make me tell you again.'  Abel fixed Jared with a glare and
retreated back up the stairs to his room.  He came down again ten minutes later
with a bag in hand and his coat thrown over his shoulder.
  'You'll regret this, Jared, I'll make sure of it.'  With a bang of the front
door the man was gone.
  ****
  Jared found himself, half an hour later, sitting in the comfy chair in the
corner of his room watching Jensen sleep.  He'd rubbed the balm Misha had given
him, when Jensen had first come to the pack, into the wounds on Jensen's neck
and wrists but they still looked raw and painful. 
  Jared's gut twisted at the memory of seeing Jensen in the silver.  He'd given
the cuffs and collar to Chris and told him to melt them down; he never wanted
Jensen to ever lay eyes on them again, and he could probably go the rest of his
life without seeing anything like those again either.
  Jared pondered his proposal to Jensen about becoming his Beta.  He'd known
from that first moment that Jensen was beautiful but the desire he had for the
werewolf had been overridden by his protective instincts as the Alpha of a
pack.  He'd seen a wolf in trouble and had needed to help him.  Jared hadn't
known then that he would want to mate with Jensen and spend the rest of his
life with him, but he knew it now.  With every day that passed he knew he
wanted Jensen to be his.
  But did Jensen want that, would Jensen want to be the Beta of Jared's Pack? 
It was a huge responsibility and, at times, that responsibility had weighed on
Jared, and he had been raised for this.  For Jensen it would be ever harder
since it would all be new to him.  Did he want to be with Jared enough to give
up the freedoms that the other Betas had, to have to care for the pack and live
up to their expectations?  Did he love Jared enough for that?  Did he love
Jared at all, or was it merely gratitude that drove him into Jared's arms? 
  This wasn't the first time that Jared had thought these things but, in the
silence of the room, the thoughts were so loud they were deafening him.  He was
so lost in his own doubts that he was completely caught off guard when he
looked back at Jensen's sleeping form to find him no longer sleeping but
looking at him with those wide, innocent eyes that always got Jared into
trouble. 
  'Jared?  What are you thinking?'  Jensen blinked his sleepiness away, and
looked all of four years old     cocooned    in Jared's huge bed and blankets.
  Jared shook his head, now was not the time to voice those thoughts, he needed
to be there for Jensen.  He was pleased to hear that Jensen had gone back to
calling him Jared instead of Alpha, at least.  'Nothing, baby, how you
feeling?'  He rose from the chair and knelt down by the bed running his hand
through Jensen's hair, pleased when Jensen closed his eyes at the contact,
almost purring.
  'I'm okay.'  He hesitated before continuing, 'Did you mean it? What you
said?'
  Jared raised an eyebrow in question, he'd said a lot to Jensen in the clinic,
he wasn't sure what or how much Jensen had heard.  He'd pretty much offered him
everything he had.
  'About being your Beta, do you, would you still want that, even with, even
after...?'
  'Yes, God yes, Jensen, I want you to be mine but only if you want to be
mine.'  It was Jensen's turn to look confused then and obviously it was the
time they were going talk about Jared’s offer, for better or for worse.  'I
don't want you thinking you owe me anything, I don't want you to think you have
to be my Beta just because I want you or because I asked you.  And I definitely
don't want you to be with me out of some sense of misplaced gratitude.  I want
you to want me as much as I want you, although I hardly think that’s
possible.' 
  To Jared's surprise, Jensen laughed.  Jared might have bristled at being
laughed at had it not been the best sound he'd heard since before this mess
started.  Jensen caught himself quickly and choked it back.
  'Sorry, Jared, I wasn't laughing at you.  How can you possibly think that I
wouldn't want you?  My wolf wanted you to be my Alpha before I even knew it
myself and I knew pretty damn quick that I wanted to be yours.  Jesus, I just
can't imagine why you would ever want me when you could have any other wolf in
the pack, a wolf whose not...'  He trailed off, biting down on his full bottom
lip.
  'Whose not what?  The most beautiful, strong, caring wolf I've ever met? 
Yeah, why on earth would I want that?'  Jared grinned, knowing that was not
what Jensen had meant and enjoyed the blush that stained the Beta's cheeks. 
Seriously he added, 'How could I not want you?  You're perfect in every way,
and I love you, Jen.'  He took Jensen's face in his large hands and looked him
directly in the eyes, no hiding.  'I love you Jensen.'
  A tentative, shy smile graced Jensen's beautiful face, 'I...I love you, too,
Jay.'  The nickname washed over Jared like warm honey and settled deep in his
belly.  Jensen moved backwards on the bed and lifted the cover, biting his lips
nervously again.  Jared looked at Jensen, saw his nerves but saw no fear, no
obligation, and climbed into the bed.  They lay face to face; Jared knocked his
nose affectionately against Jensen's causing the smaller wolf to duck his head.
  'You understand what this means, Jen?  Being my Beta means you'll have
responsibilities and the rest of the pack will look to you for guidance if I'm
not here.'  He could help train Jensen for that; Jensen had great instincts
already and had shown Jared that he loved the pack by always putting them
first; he was well on his way to the place he needed to be. 
  'Do you think, I mean, I'm not sure, will I be good enough to be your Beta
Jared?'
  ****
__Jensen.__
  Jensen wasn’t sure.  He cared about every single member of his new pack, as
he had cared about every member of Tom’s Pack, and he knew that he would
readily lay down his life for any of them.  But being the Pack Beta would mean
he would have to be smart, think on his feet; people would look to him to sort
out their problems if Jared wasn’t there.
  ‘You’ll be the best Pack Beta that this pack has ever had.  I know it.’
 Jared kissed the tip of his nose affectionately.
  And Jared.  Really, Jared could do better.  Without thinking, he continued
his train of thought aloud, ‘But Genevieve has trained her whole life to be
your Head Beta, I know nothing, and she’s just so beautiful and perfect, surely
she’d…’
  ‘She may have trained herself to be my Beta, Jensen, but I never wanted her
to and I never wanted her as my Beta, especially not after I first saw you. 
And you’re right, Jensen, I’ll have to train you up a little on the way Pack
politics work but you’re smart as hell so I know you’ll pick that up pretty
damn quick.’ 
  Jensen bit his lip, he really didn’t know anything about Pack politics, he’d
been too young to have any say in the way the Welling Pack worked before he had
been taken by Jeff and he’d certainly had no insight into how Morgan’s Pack
functioned.  ‘Jensen, seriously, you have the most important thing I would look
for in my Beta.  Nothing else matters to me.’
  ‘And what’s that?’  Jensen couldn’t possibly imagine what could make him a
good enough Beta for an Alpha like Jared or a pack like Jared’s, ‘Love. 
Compassion.  You love me and you love my pack.  You support me in everything I
do and you always put the needs of others before your own.  That’s why you’re
such a success at the clinic, and that’s how I know you’ll be perfect.’
  Jensen nodded, he did love Jared and he would always stand by him, ‘I would
Alpha.  I’d stand by you no matter what.’
  ‘I know.’  Jared gave him one last kiss on the cheek before turning them over
and spooning up against Jensen’s pack; one strong arm around the smaller wolf’s
body pulling him back against his chest.  ‘I know, baby.’


***** Chapter Twenty. *****
Chapter Notes
     Soundtrack to Chapter Twenty: Queensryche- ‘Silent Lucidity.’ This
     song talks about nightmares and leaving your fears behind and I
     thought that was perfect for describing how haunted Jensen is.
     Plus, the scene in 'Heart' when this plays is pretty much one of my
     favourite Supernatural scenes EVER so I really love this song! Lol!
__ Chapter_Twenty.__
__Jared.__
  A few hours later and Jared awoke with a start.  He looked to his side to see
Jensen struggling in his sleep, his whimpers quiet like he was trying to keep
quiet.  Jared knew it wasn’t the first nightmare Jensen had suffered since he
had come to live with him; more than once Jared had gotten out of his bed,
having heard Jensen shout in the night, to go to the guest room.  But it was
the first nightmare he’d had for a while and certainly the first one he’d had
with Jared near him.
  Jared turned on his side and shook Jensen gently.  He was surprised when
Jensen’s body froze, holding itself completely still; it was more than a little
unnerving.  ‘Jensen, baby?  It’s me, it’s Jared, can you wake up for me?’ 
Jensen still didn’t move, so Jared turned the smaller wolf to lie on his back
in a more comfortable position.  Jensen was whispering something in his sleep
so quietly that Jared couldn’t make it out.  He leaned forward and put his ear
by Jensen’s mouth,
  ‘Please don’t make me, please, I don’t want to, please, please.’ It was a
continual stream of pleas and Jared pulled away sharply, unwilling to hear
anymore.  He took hold of Jensen’s arms and brought them down to the wolf’s
sides rather than them being pinned above his head.  He stroked his thumbs
across Jensen’s cheek bones soothingly.
  ‘Jen, wake up, you’re home, you’re safe, come back to me.’  The frown on
Jensen’s face wavered for a moment before smoothing out and Jared watched as
Jensen slowly opened his eyes to look at him. 
  ‘Alpha?’  Jared nodded and he hoped that Jensen was awake enough to know that
it was him and not Morgan or Abel.
  ‘Yeah, Jen, it’s me, it’s Jared.  You back with me now?’  Jensen nodded and
turned onto his side offering Jared his back.  Jared frowned, was Jensen mad at
him?  Had he handled this wrongly?  He hadn’t really known what to do; he had
just wanted to bring Jensen out of the nightmare he had been trapped in.  His
frown evaporated when he saw Jensen’s shoulders moving slightly and heard a
soft sniffing coming from the other wolf.  ‘Oh Jen, baby, don’t cry.  It’s
alright.’  He risked touching his Beta, and Jensen was his Beta now whether
he’d claimed him or not, and put a strong arm around the smaller wolf body
pulling him backwards into his chest.  Jensen resisted the movement before
letting himself be held. 
  ‘I’m sorry.’  Jensen whispered through his tears, ‘I just…why do you want me
when I’m so messed up?’
  Jared gently turned the young wolf in his arms so they were facing each
other, ‘You’re not messed up Jensen.  You’ve had terrible things happen to you
and it’s going to take time and support for you to work through all this
stuff.’  He pulled Jensen closer and planted a tender kiss on his cheek, ‘But
I’m here to give you both, and I know Chris and Misha are around if you ever
think you can’t talk to me or you don’t want to.  But no-one expects you to be
all better overnight, Jensen, only you, so don’t ever apologise for not being
100% okay with everything that’s happened, you just gotta talk to me and tell
me what you need.  I’ll give you anything you need.’  He finished and kissed
Jensen on the other cheek.
  Jensen smiled and nodded, even though he still looked a little shaky from
whatever nightmare he’d just had.  ‘Do you want to try going back to sleep or
should we break out the Ben and Jerry’s and put on a movie downstairs?’
  The smile that he received told him that they wouldn’t be getting anymore
sleep tonight, Jared was absolutely okay with that, whatever Jensen needed he
was happy to provide. 
  ****
__Jensen.__
  Jensen felt completely off balance his first few days back working in the
clinic after the attack.  He could remember everything that had occurred and he
didn’t think he’d ever be able to go into the exam room where it had…had
happened.  He hated Jake all the more, then, knowing that the man had managed
to tarnish something Jensen had loved so much.  He held his head up high
though, he wouldn’t let Jake win, not with this, he loved working with Misha
and Chris and Jared, God only knew why, was proud of the work Jensen did at the
clinic.  There was no way he was going to let Jake stop him.
  That determination didn’t stop the chill that went down his spine every time
someone looked at him for a moment too long or gave him a sympathetic look. 
Jared had sworn that no-one else had known the full extent of what had happened
but with Jake’s banishment and Jensen’s obvious absence from the clinic it
hadn’t taken long for the     rumours    to start flying around.
  Genevieve, especially, seemed to like to bring his thoughts back to what had
happened the last time he was here.  It was just subtle hints that she made
that jarred him, sometimes causing his hands to shake so violently that he
dropped whatever he was holding. 
  ‘Jensen, stay out of exam room two, it’s still dirty from the other day,
okay.’
  ‘Jensen, you still need to get tested before I can let you around any of the
patients and certainly before you’re allowed to even touch the younger wolves
again.’
  ‘Jensen, you need to cover those burns properly, we can’t have them near any
of the patients.’
  Chris had finally snapped after lunch and had taken Genevieve into his
office.  Jensen had heard his voice loud and sharp through the door and had
ducked away from the glare Genevieve had sent him when she had come back out
again.  At least, the comments had lessened after that, well, so as only Jensen
had to listen to them. 
  ****
  Slowly, Jensen regained his equilibrium; he had returned to his own bed after
that first night but he’d still only awoken twice from nightmares since then. 
Work was also becoming easier for him to handle again.  Jensen found the other
wolves had stopped paying him any extra attention and things were pretty much
back to the way they had been before it had all happened.  Genevieve was as
cold as ever, but she had never been the kindest to Jensen in the first place,
so he could easily accept that blow. 
  Jared was fantastic, they had gone through a full moon cycle a couple of days
ago and Jared had started teaching him to slow the shift and control it.  It
had been difficult but without the pain of the first transformation.  He had
felt strangely powerful when he had been able to hold back the might of his
wolf, even if it had only lasted a few minutes.  He and Jared had run through
the woods like they always did until the dawn and their wolves shifted away
again. 
  They hadn’t really talked about the subject of Jensen becoming Jared’s new
Beta, Jared hadn’t announced it, clearly, the man was unsure of how Jensen felt
about the subject.  He knew he wanted to be Jared’s Beta, more than anything in
the whole world, but wasn’t sure whether he was really up to the challenge.
  He decided there was one person whom he trusted enough to talk to about this
and whom he knew would give him a straight answer since they cared about the
well-being of the pack almost as much as Jared himself.  Chris.
  So after the clinic closed one Tuesday, Jensen asked Chris if they could walk
home together.  Chris, of course agreed, just as he always did when he knew
Jensen needed to talk.
  ‘So what is it Jen?’  He asked Jensen as he locked the doors of the clinic.
  ****
    Chris .
  Chris had known the younger wolf had something on his mind; he had seen
Jensen hesitantly approach him and quickly retreat all day, it was too damn
adorable for Jensen or Chris’ own good. 
  ‘I…Jared asked me to be his Beta and I don’t know whether…’   Jensen trailed
off looking into the distance.
  ‘Whether what Jensen?’  Chris asked, even though he knew what Jensen was
thinking; the werewolf was an open book when it came to his feelings for Jared.
  ‘Whether I’m good enough to be his Beta.’  Jensen finished quietly, a light
flush rising to his cheeks.  The kid had to be kidding, any of the Alphas would
have given their hind teeth to have Jensen as their Beta.  Chris wanted to be
angry at Jared for not making Jensen see how amazing he was and that there was
no way that he wouldn’t be good enough to be Jared’s Beta but he couldn’t
muster the anger.  He knew Jared would have told Jensen time and time again how
wonderful he was; Jared was much better with words than Chris was and Chris
knew, if Jensen had been his, he would have told the Beta everyday how lucky he
felt to have him.   Chris really wanted to rip Morgan and Abel’s throats out
right about then.
  ‘It’s an awful lot of responsibility, Jensen, I’ll give you that.  But I
honestly believe you’re more than capable of being the best damn Head Beta that
any pack has ever seen.  You are very responsible, Jensen, I wouldn’t have let
you work at the clinic if you weren’t.  Working with us is one of the most
important jobs in the pack so I can tell you that you’re more than ready to
assume that role and do it well.’
  ‘Are you sure?  Because I asked Jay, and he said he thought I could do it but
he seems to have these crazy rose-tinted glasses when it comes to me; he sees
things that just aren’t there.’ 
  Chris almost snorted, it was completely the other way round; it was like
Jensen put on mud-covered glasses and maybe some blinkers and eye muffs as
well, when he looked at himself because he just couldn’t see what the rest of
them saw.  That Jensen was amazing.  ‘And I knew you’d tell me the truth
because you’re a doctor and it’s your job to care about the well-being of the
pack so you wouldn’t tell me to accept being their Pack Beta if you didn’t
think I could handle it.’  Chris just stood shaking his head as the younger
babbled on endearingly, quite unaware of his own allure. 
  ‘I’m absolutely positive, you’ll make a fine Beta for Jared and we’ll all be
proud to have you as our Head Beta.’  It took an effort for Chris to say, even
though it was the absolute truth since it didn’t change the fact that it hurt
every time he thought of Jensen being lost to him forever.
  ‘Okay.  Okay.’  It looked like Jensen was working himself up to something and
Chris tried desperately not to think about what that something was but he
couldn’t help it. 
  Clearly, Jensen was ready to take that last step now. 

***** Chapter Twenty-One. *****
Chapter Notes
     Soundtrack to Chapter Twenty-One: Christina Perri – ‘A Thousand
     Years.’ I had to include this somewhere since it’s such a beautiful
     song and it really fits into my story so well. It describes the idea
     of mates perfectly, in my opinion, and so really defines the bond
     between Jared and Jensen.
     I wanted Lea Salonga - ‘On My Own’ from Les Miserables in here, as
     well, to describe how Chris is feeling as he watches Jensen dance
     with Jared knowing that Jensen will never be with him.
__ Chapter_Twenty-One.__
  Jared.

Katie and Aldis had decided to throw a huge party to jointly celebrate the
arrival of their puppies and their anniversary.  Of course, Jared wanted to go
with Jensen but he wasn’t sure how Jensen would react to being at such a large
event after everything that had happened.  Everyone knew vaguely what had gone
down with Jake and he knew that Jensen felt awkward about that. 
  But then again, Jensen had really taken the last few weeks in his stride; he
had bad days, of course, and there were the nightmares, but really it was no
more than what Jensen had to deal with normally.  And Jared was always there,
right by his side, as soon as Jensen woke up, to soothe the younger wolf back
to sleep.  So Jared decided to bite the bullet and ask; he had to be at the
party as the Head Alpha so he would really like the chance to show Jensen off
at the same time.
  ‘Morning Jen.’  He said as he walked through the door to see Jensen sitting
at the kitchen table, with two slices of toast and a glass of orange juice in
front of him, waiting for Jared.  Jared smiled, it was a habit he just couldn’t
get the Beta to break; Jensen always waited for Jared before he started his
breakfast, be it ten minutes or two hours.  Jensen claimed that he liked
talking to Jared at breakfast so was more than happy to wait for him and Jared
had to admit he liked sitting down in the morning with Jensen too so he
couldn’t really object to the quirk.
  ‘Morning, Jay.’  Jensen lifted his chin and accepted the quick kiss Jared
gave him before Jared sat down and grabbed a plate of his own.  Jared stacked
six slices of toast on his plate, pulling the butter across the table. 
  ‘I was just wondering what you were thinking about Katie and Aldis’ party
tomorrow?  Did you want to go?’  Jared asked casually, buttering his first
slice of toast.
  ‘Um, yeah, I think I would actually,’ Jensen replied as he nibbled a piece of
toast.
  Jared felt a weight lift off his shoulders at that, he was pleased that
Jensen still wanted to go out and mix with the pack.  He knew how everyone in
the pack felt about Jensen and was glad to have had their supportive presence
over the last few weeks.  ‘Would you like to go with me Jensen?’  Jared didn’t
look up from his plate, but he held his breath waiting, he so wanted the answer
to be yes.
  ‘I…I’d really like that, if you want that, if you think that’s…’  Jared was
out of his seat in an instant, kissing Jensen deeply, before taking his seat
again and picking up his unfinished piece of toast.  He felt rather smug about
how breathless Jensen was when he sat back down.
  ‘Good.’
  ****
  Jared had gone along to the party early to help with some of the
preparations, he was the strongest wolf in the pack after all, so it would have
been more than a little selfish not to offer to help just so he could stay at
home with Jensen.  Plus, Jensen had been really nervous that morning, slipping
back into old habits he had broken months ago, and when Misha and Chris had
come over, to bring Jensen his tux, they’d told Jared that they would bring
Jensen to the party with them.  Jared had wanted to walk in with Jensen on his
arm but decided that having Jensen on his arm for the rest of his night was
definitely enough to still make it one of the best nights of his life. 
  But the party had started over an hour ago and Jared was getting a little
worried by Jensen’s lack of appearance.
  ‘Oh, Jay, don’t you look handsome.  You all on your own tonight?’  Jared
recognised    Genevieve’s voice next to him and looked away from the door he
had been staring at for, at least, the last twenty minutes.
  ‘Hey, Genevieve.  No, Jen’s meeting me here, he’s just a bit late.’  Jared
explained, hoping it was the truth.  He hated to admit it, it made him feel
like a bastard, but he would be really disappointed if Jensen didn’t make it
tonight.
  ‘That’s a shame but how about you entertain an     unaccompanied    lady
until he gets here then?’  She asked sweetly, linking her arm through his and
leading him towards the dance floor. 
  ****
__Jensen.__
  It had taken longer than Jensen had thought it would for him to get ready. 
The tux that Chris and Misha had brought him fit perfectly so all he had to do
was style his hair but he was still over an hour late.  If he was honest, that
last hour was pretty much spent debating whether he should go or not.  But he
didn’t want to let Jared down; if he was going to be Jared’s Beta he had better
start acting like it, and that meant he had responsibilities that he had to
respect, no matter how hard that was.
  He walked over the threshold and stopped dead when he saw Genevieve leading
Jared to the dance floor, her delicate body     moulded    to his taller one. 
Jensen relaxed though as he watched Jared gently disentangle her arm from his
and walk over to the drinks table and pour himself a whiskey.  Jensen breathed
deeply and walked forwards into the large room. 
  He watched as Jared turned in his direction and saw the dumbstruck look that
crossed the man’s face.  Jensen nervously looked down at his suit wondering if
he’d stained it on the way over since he was pretty sure it had looked okay
when he had left the house.  When he looked up again, though, Jared was right
in front of him, and the fire in his eyes took Jensen’s breath away. 
  A large hand cupped his jaw and Jared brought his face down next to Jensen’s
to growl softly in his ear, ‘Jesus Christ, Jen, you could’ve warned me, almost
gave a freaking heart attack coming here looking like that.’  Before Jensen’s
heart could shatter, thinking he’d disappointed Jared again somehow, Jared
continued, ‘You look fucking amazing.’ 
  Jensen felt his face heat up in embarrassment and arousal from Jared’s words
and his closeness.  ‘I think I better take you out onto the dance floor before
I do something in front of the whole pack that we’ll both regret.’  Right then,
Jensen was really sure he wouldn’t regret anything Jared did to him, alone or
not.
  ‘Yes, Alpha.’  Jensen said huskily. 
  As soon as Jared led him onto the dance floor the song changed abruptly and
Jensen only had to look up at Jared to know that it was arranged for him.  
Jared pulled a white rose out from the inside of his jacket and handed it to
Jensen, it was beautiful and Jensen clutched it tightly in his hand even as
Jared took both of them in his.
  ‘Heart beats fast, colours and promises, how to be brave, how can I love when
I’m afraid to fall, but watching you stand alone, all of my doubt suddenly goes
away somehow.’
  Jensen risked a quick look at the stage to see Chris singing, the older man
giving him a quick wink before closing his eyes again and continuing the song. 
Jensen didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know how to react to the way Jared
was looking at him.  There was so much love there that Jensen was sure he could
drown in it.  He only hoped his own eyes showed exactly the way he felt about
Jared, the way he had felt about him ever since that first change.  And even if
tomorrow this was all over, he knew he would love Jared for the rest of his
life. 
  Jared’s soft voice singing low in his ear broke his thoughts away from their
future together; he decided to focus on just that night, on what he had right
then, for as long as he had it.
  ‘I have died everyday waiting for you, Darlin' don't be afraid I have loved
you for a thousand years, I'll love you for a thousand more   .'
  ‘Jen, I’ve waited for you my whole life and now that I’ve found you I will
let nothing in Heaven or on Earth come between us.   I’ve never known anyone
like you, and I could never have imagined that I ever would but you do exist,
and I love you more than words could ever say so please just, please, say
you’ll be mine forever.  And I promise I’ll never let you go.’
  It was the most beautiful thing Jensen had ever heard and he still couldn’t
believe someone was saying those words to him.  Let alone someone as amazing as
Jared.  But he nodded all the same, ‘Yes, Jay, you know I’m yours.  Always.’ 
And with that Jared kissed him, dipping him low, in the middle of the dance
floor, regardless of the dozens of shocked eyes watching them and the music
still playing the background. 
   ‘And all along I believed I would find you, Time has brought your heart to
me, I have loved you for a thousand years I'll love you for a thousand more.’


   ****
 
___Chris.___
  Chris watched as Jared and Jensen danced in the middle of the dance floor,
during his band's break, feeling his heart breaking just that little bit more. 
He was happy for his friends, of course he was, and especially for Jensen, the
young wolf looked so happy there in Jared's arms. 
  But he ached to go over there and take the younger wolf in his own arms, show
him how much he cared for him, and prove to him that maybe he could take care
of the wolf just as well as Jared.  Chris knew he could; he would have spent
the rest of his life making Jensen happy and been glad to do it.
  A gentle hand on his shoulder caused him to turn around, 'I'm so sorry,
Chris.'   He tried to     marshal    up a smile and a nonchalant shrug for
Misha but knew he hadn't really pulled it off when his friend's expression
remained sad. 
  Chris sighed and looked back at the couple just as Jensen laughed and ducked
his head closer into Jared's chest, 'I know it's awful, Meesh, Jared's one of
my best friends, but I can't help but wish that Jensen's was mine.'  Misha was
his best friend; they had worked together for years, and been friends even
longer than that.  If Chris wasn't alone, he was with Misha and his mate,
Vicki, they were pretty much the only people he willingly spent his free time
with outside his house.  So, Chris knew he could make that admission to the man
without fear of     judgement   , even though he was less than proud to
acknowledge it himself.
  As he watched, Jensen looked up at Jared with a look so full of adoration and
devotion that Chris just knew his dreams were not to be, that Jensen had been
Jared's the moment they had brought the wolf home.  'But he's not and I just
have to learn to accept that.'  Even if I’m not sure I can, Chris added in his
head.
  'I know you think there's no-one else out there for you, Chris, but maybe
if...'
  'No, Misha, I’ve never wanted anyone as a mate before Jensen and, to be
honest, I really don't want anyone if it's not him.  But I truly am glad that
he's happy and if there were a werewolf for Jensen to be with that's not me,
I'm glad it's Jared.  He's pretty much the only guy I wouldn't have challenged
for Jensen.'  Jared chose that moment to kiss the tip of Jensen's nose, 'He
loves him, Misha, he really does and that's what Jensen needs and what he
deserves.  Hell, that's the only thing that matters.'
  'You know he loves you too, Chris, right?'  Misha said quietly, knowing it
wasn't really enough, that it would never be enough. 
  Chris chuckled but it held a harsh, bitter edge, 'I know he does, just not in
the way I want.  The kid's got a heart the size of Cleveland, even after
everything he’s been through; he's…he’s just amazing.'  He finished the
statement quietly, almost speaking to himself rather than to his friend. 
Jensen was amazing, he had known that within days of meeting the Beta. 
  'He really is Chris, I know.'  The sad tone hadn't left Misha's voice and
Chris knew there was little that he could do to change that.  They were both
happy for Jensen and Jared but would both always be sad that Chris' heart got
broken on their way to finding true love. 
  'I can settle for being his friend, Misha, I can do that.  It's better than
nothing and, honestly, having Jensen in my life as anything is a blessing I’ll
never know what I did to deserve.'  Chris turned back to look at Misha then,
'But he can never know Misha; I don't think he ever really understood how much
I felt for him, and now it doesn't matter, so I'd rather he just thought of me
as a friend.  I won't make this awkward for him nor will I make him feel guilty
about my stupid broken heart, it's not his fault that I fell for him and we all
know that somehow he'll make my loving him his own fault.  So, please, for your
part, can you make sure he never finds out?'  Chris asked his old friend.
  'Of course, Jensen will never hear about it from me.'  Chris trusted Misha
enough to know that he would always keep true to his word.
  'Good.'  Chris brushed down his pants and subtly wiped his eyes with the back
of his hand, hoping Misha didn't notice the gesture, 'I've got my next set to
start so I'll see you and Vicki afterwards for a drink?'
  'Sure.'  Misha hugged Chris tightly, 'We'll be here for you.'  And Chris knew
he meant for more than just the drink.  He was grateful, he was sure he'd need
them soon enough. 



***** Chapter Twenty-Two. *****
Chapter Notes
     Soundtrack to Chapter Twenty-Two: Jeff Buckley- ‘Hallelujah.’ I just
     think this is a really sensual song and Jeff Buckley has a really
     sexy voice. Plus, this is sort of the moment the whole story has been
     building up to, Jared finally claiming Jensen as his Beta, and I
     think this song portrays that.
_ Chapter_Twenty-Two._
 
_Jared._
 
 Jared kissed Jensen once more on the lips and turned to go to his own room
when he felt a tentative hand on his arm.  ‘Jen?'
 Jensen was biting his lip so hard that it looked like it hurt and he was
looking down at the floor.  'CanIcomewithyou?'
 Jared smiled, God, the man was adorable.  'You want to come to my bed,
Jensen?'
 He didn’t like pushing the other wolf but he had to make sure that they were
both on the same page before he claimed Jensen.  Nothing would ever happen to
his Beta that he didn't want ever again.  Jensen nodded but didn't look at
him.  Jared took Jensen's chin in his hand and forced him to look him in the
eye.  'Do you want to be mine Jensen?'
 Jensen nodded again, the flush of embarrassment on his cheeks quickly
deepening to a flush of arousal.  Jared could relate, to be able to officially
call Jensen his, and to have every other wolf know it, sent a thrill down his
spine. 
 'Alright, Jen, come with me,' he took Jensen by the hand and led him down the
hall to the master bedroom.  His bed was massive, Jared had had it specially
made for him, he was a pretty big guy, after all, six foot five was nothing to
be sniffed at.  He led Jensen over to the bed and sat him down on the edge. 
Jared could feel Jensen trembling against him; he knew Jensen would be nervous
the first time they did this since all of his experience in the bedroom came
from Morgan and Abel and neither of those experiences counted as far as Jared
was concerned.  He was going to make Jensen’s first time, voluntarily, in an
Alpha’s bed amazing, and something the younger wolf would never forget.  Unlike
all those other times, everything would be about Jensen.
 'It's okay, Jensen, just relax,' Jared pressed a kiss to the side of Jensen's
neck as he pushed the smaller wolf back against the sheets.  He took off his
own shirt before pulling Jensen's off, as well, dropping them both to the floor
next to the bed and laid back down over Jensen.  He kissed along Jensen's
jawline and down his neck, nipping and soothing the pain away with long swipes
of his tongue.  Jensen gasped at each bite, his breathing becoming faster and
shallower the longer Jared moved over him.  Jared was encouraged by the hard
length of Jensen's cock pressing against his stomach. 
 Jared continued to lavish attention across Jensen's chest as he brought his
hand down between their bodies and began to rhythmically rub Jensen through his
slacks.  Jensen let out a high pitched keen as Jared sped up his movements,
practically panting below Jared, his eyes closed tightly.  'Jared, Jared,' he
panted, 'I'm sorry, I'm…I’m gonna, I'm..'
 'Do it Jensen,' he deftly unbuttoned the front of Jensen's pants, stuck his
hand into the younger man's boxers and wrapped his large hand around Jensen’s
hard cock, 'Come for me Jensen.'
 'ALPHA!'  Jensen screamed into Jared’s shoulder as he came all over his hand. 
Jensen was panting and trying to catch his breath as Jared pulled down his
pants and boxers, dropping them with their shirts. 'I'm sorry, that was...' 
Jensen looked away, a blush staining his cheeks.
 'Fucking perfect, is what it was Jensen.  Never apologise for letting go with
me, baby, I want you to.  No walls with me, remember, nothing comes between
us.'  He ran his hand down Jensen's face.  'God, you are so beautiful, Jensen,
you have no idea.'  The instinctive shake of the head from Jensen caused Jared
to surge forward, his arms resting on either side of Jensen’s head, holding his
body over the smaller wolf, as he dropped kisses all over the other man's face.
 'Yes.'  Kiss.  'You.'  Kiss.  'Are.'  Kiss.  Jensen giggled and squirmed
underneath Jared.  'Right, now we’ve cleared up that little disagreement, where
were we?  Oh right.'  Jared began kissing and licking his way down Jensen's
body again, cleaning away the come that had splattered across the younger man's
chest.  'You okay, baby?'  Jared stroked a hand down Jensen’s side.
 Jensen nodded.  Jared smiled as the younger man began fidgeting as Jared's
neared his spent cock.  Jared licked a line up the soft length watching it
twitch and try to rise again.  'Oh Jesus, Jared.'  Jensen gasped.  Jared knew
he could get his Beta to come a couple more times that night and looked forward
to the challenge.
 He grabbed the chocolate flavoured lube he kept on the bedside table; Jensen,
as a Beta, should be wet and open for Jared, when he was aroused, so he
shouldn’t have needed any lubing up but Jensen had had a lot of bad experiences
when it came to sex and there was no way in hell Jared was going to hurt him. 
 Jared coated his fingers in slick and just as his fingers touched Jensen's
hole he engulfed Jensen half hard dick.  'CHRIST!'  Jared braced a strong arm
across Jensen's hips to hold him to the bed and suckled on the very head of
Jensen's cock, coaxing the length back to hardness as Jensen babbled nonsense
above him.
 'Jay...oh my God...I don't...you don’t have…oh…oh'  Jared smirked at the
incoherency of his mate.  He pushed a long finger inside Jensen, meeting no
resistance, Jensen's natural lubrication and body's willing reaction to Jared
letting the finger in easily.  He added a second and felt Jensen tense for an
instant.  He left his fingers there, unmoving, 'Jensen, it's okay, it's me,
Jared, you okay?'
 'Yeah, Jared, sorry, yeah, I'm good.’
 'Don't be sorry, Jensen, just let me know if you need to stop and we will.' 
Jared waited for another moment, but when Jensen didn’t ask him to stop and to
Jared’s surprise he felt Jensen pushing his own hips down onto Jared’s finger. 
Jared looked up at his mate to see his eyes closed, his mouth open slightly,
and Jared was almost positive the Beta didn’t know he was unconsciously fucking
himself down on Jared’s finger.  God, if that didn’t only make Jared even
harder, his shy, innocent little Jensen wantonly grinding himself down on
Jared’s hand without even knowing it.
 Jared smirked and quickly took his fingers all the way out and plunged them
back in starling a gasp, which ended in a low moan, from Jensen at the expected
move. Jared bent his head and went back to suckling the head of Jensen's cock
as he crooked his fingers, once, then twice, looking for that special spot
which would drive Jensen wild. 
 Jensen arched off the bed, 'What the...'  Jared smirked and kissed the inside
of Jensen's thigh.  He crooked his fingers again, enjoying his Beta's obvious
enjoyment and bewilderment at his ministrations.  Jared crooked his finger and
combined it with taking Jensen's cock deep down his throat and sucking hard. 
Jensen was writhing on the bed, clearly torn between trying to rut his cock
deeper into Jared’s mouth or pushing back onto Jared fingers as they pressed
relentlessly at that place inside him.
 ‘Jared…Jared…I don’t know what….’  Jared smiled and sped up the pace of his
fingers against Jensen’s prostate, pressing hard and fast over and over again,
knowing his Beta was near the edge already.  All it took was Jared pulling off
Jensen’s cock and biting down hard on his inner thigh and Jensen came again
with a shout as Jared brought his hand down to squeeze and work Jensen’s cock
through his orgasm. 
 Jared prowled up the bed and laid down next to Jensen on the bed as Jensen lay
still with closed eyes and fast breaths, his skin flushed with arousal and
exertion.  'You good baby?'
 Jensen opened one eye to look at Jared, and smiled lazily.  Oh God, Jared
could wake up every day to that shy smile and he really hoped he was going to
get the chance to.  'I'm awesome Jay, that was…thank you.'  He kissed Jared on
the cheek before turning and nuzzling into Jared’s chest.  Jared brought his
arms around his Beta’s smaller body and held him as Jensen drifted off to
sleep.
 After a few minutes quiet, Jared was surprised to hear Jensen's voice, barely
above a whisper, break the silence in the room, 'Jay, I want…will you make me
yours?'  Jensen didn’t remove his face from Jared’s chest as if he was afraid
of seeing rejection in Jared’s eyes (as if!), 'Please alpha, if you want me,
make me yours.'
 Jared had a brief moment to think that he had thought of Jensen’s as his for
months before this but Jensen asking for it in their new bed, and well that
just spoke to the Alpha in him.  He guided Jensen onto his back again and
draped his larger body over him again, effectively pinning the other man to the
bed and growled, 'I'll make you mine alright, Jensen, and everyone will know. 
Everyone will to able to smell my claim on you.  Do you want that Jensen?  Do
you want everyone to know that after tonight you're mine and that no one else
will ever get to have you?'
 'Yes, yes Alpha, I want that.  I want to be yours, only yours.'  Jensen
replied breathlessly.
 'Good, ‘cause I've wanted you for so damn long that I don't think I could let
you go now.'  He kissed Jensen deeply, only breaking away to allow them both to
catch their breaths.  Jared stood up and shucked off his suit pants and boxers
before settling back down above his Beta.  'You sure you want this Jensen,
because we can now stop if you need to?'  He asked one last time since, after
this, there was no turning back in Jared’s mind, for either of them.
 'No! Jared, I need this, please, Alpha, I need you.'  Jensen grabbed onto his
shoulder as though he thought Jared was going to leave him; well he clearly
didn’t realise what an advertisement for sin he was lying against the black
sheets of Jared’s bed.  Jensen’s desperate plea was all the encouragement Jared
needed before he was lining up and pushing inside the tight heat of his Beta. 
Jensen’s breath hitched for a moment but when Jared looked at him, Jensen’s
face was such a picture of bliss he was sure he wasn’t hurting the man
underneath him.
 Once he was fully sheathed inside his mate Jared took in his fill of Jensen;
his smooth pale skin standing out against the dark sheets making him look
almost ethereal and so damn beautiful he was almost painful to look at.  He
kissed Jensen passionately as he pulled out and thrust back in, hard. 
 ‘Open your eyes Jensen, look at me.’  Jared commanded, Alpha tone out in
full.  Jensen gasped at the order and Jared smiled when he saw his Beta’s cock
twitch, clearly his Beta liked a little dominance in the bedroom, Jared could
work with that. Jensen’s eyes flew open instantly, his pupils completely blown,
the stunning green irises swallowed up by the dark pools in the centre of his
eyes. 
 Jared changed his angle on the next few thrusts, looking for that spot again
and knew he'd found it when his last thrust brought a sharp cry from his Beta.
'Ah! Oh god! Alpha, harder, take me harder.  Please.'
 Jared growled at the request and slammed into his Beta again and again.  He
felt his knot forming not long after and he started to shallow his thrusts
until he was grinding against Jensen's body.  Jensen shifted away, his eyes
darting up to Jared’s instantly, looking scared.  Jared stroked down Jensen’s
sides again and watched the Beta’s long eyelashes flutter in pleasure, ‘It’s
alright, baby, it’s just my knot, you can take it, just relax.’  Jensen nodded,
his trust in Jared implicit, and Jared saw the fear fade out of his eyes again.
 Finally, they were tied and Jared reached down to his mate's hard cock and
pulled twice, watching as Jensen came again, squeezing deliciously on Jared's
knot, driving his own orgasm over the edge.  He released his seed into his
Beta.
 'Alpha, oh god, I can…I can feel you in me, filling me up.'  Jensen gasped. 
Jared knew they'd be tied for at least an hour and settled down behind his
mate, wrapping a strong arm around Jensen’s waist and spooning his smaller
body,
 'God, I love you Jensen, so much, I don't know what I'd do without you.'
 'I love you Jay, thank you for...for everything.'  Jensen turned to look over
his shoulder and kissed his Alpha before he fell asleep curled tightly in
Jared's arms with Jared knot's still pulsing inside him. 
 Jared stayed awake until his knot deflated enough for him to pull out, he had
waited too damn long to have Jensen that he wasn’t willing to waste any time on
sleep just yet.  When he did, he was careful not to awaken his sleeping mate as
he walked to his bathroom to get a damp cloth.  He drew it lightly over his
mate's body, they could shower properly in the morning, and Jared's cock jumped
at the thought of the fun they could have with that scenario, he had a
reallybig shower.
 As he cleaned Jensen, he saw his come dribbling out of his mate's hole.  A
shiver passed through him as a fierce possessiveness swept over him.  This
beautiful wolf in his bed was hisand there was no way he was ever letting him
go.
 He climbed back into the bed behind his Beta, nuzzling at the younger wolf's
neck and breathing in their combined scents.
 Perfect.

***** Chapter Twenty-Three. *****
Chapter Notes
     Soundtrack to Chapter Twenty-Three: Sarah McLachlin- ‘Full of Grace.’
     This song is full of despair and loss which is just how Jensen feels
     now that he’s lost Jared to Genevieve. Plus, I also think it
     describes someone leaving which is exactly what Jensen has done,
     unable to see Jared move on with someone else.
__ Chapter_Twenty-Three.__
__Jared.__
  Jared felt on top of the world, he had known for months that Jensen was his
true mate but to have his own wolf, Jensen, and Jensen's wolf all acknowledge
it left him with a wonderful feeling.  Jared had left Jensen asleep in bed when
he'd gone out for breakfast supplies to Mike’s; there was no way he and Jensen
were leaving their room that day, and maybe not the next either, hell they
might just have to take the rest of the week off, so Jared was going to have to
make sure they were all stocked up.  Plus he and his Beta were going to need to
keep their energy levels up for everything he had planned.
  Jared greeted other members of the pack as he passed them, wondering if they
could smell Jensen on him in the fleeting seconds they were close, and found
himself hoping they could.  Jensen was his now and he wanted everyone to know
it.
  ****
__Jensen.__
  Jensen rubbed his eyes against the slant of sunlight coming in through the
window and smiled remembering the previous night.  He rolled over to find his
mate, his Alpha, only to be met with an empty bed.  Jensen placed his hand on
the bedding, and found it cold; Jared had clearly been gone for a while. 
Something cold and heavy settled in Jensen's gut.  Old words tumbled through
his head, unbidden and unwanted, but unstoppable.
  'That's probably why you're still in his house, he's just waiting for you to
give it up then he can settle down with that stunning Beta, Genevieve, like he
always wanted to.'
  'There's a good boy, this is all you're good for, Jensen, you hear me.'
  'On your knees, Green Eyes, get used to that ‘cause that's the place you’re
gonna be spending an awful lot of time.'
  Jensen shook his head, trying to rid it of the voices of the past.  Jared
wouldn't do that to him, he had said he loved him, he wanted him to be his
Beta, right?  Jensen decided that he would just go and find him; he didn't like
being all that far from Jared right now, anyway, not so soon after he'd been
claimed.  He was sure Jared wouldn't mind if he went out to look for him.
  Jensen got dressed and walked outside asking the other wolves he met whether
they'd seen Jared this morning.  He got a few sly smiles that Jensen didn't
understand but, at least, found out that Jared was down at the grocery store. 
Oh, that made Jensen feel better, he had planned to go out himself later and
restock Jared's, no, their kitchen. 
  Jensen walked quickly towards the store, almost running in his eagerness, the
prospect of seeing Jared adding a bounce to his step that he hadn't felt in
years, if ever.  He bounded through the doors but stopped dead when he saw
Jared with Genevieve wrapped in his arms, her head buried against his chest,
her hands gripping tightly at Jared's back.  Right where Jensen thought he was
meant to be.  Jared was looking down at her and though Jensen couldn't see his
face, from the entrance of the store, he was sure of the fond expression on
it. 
  Oh God, he was so stupid, how could he have possibly thought he could match
up to someone like Genevieve?  She’d known Jared his whole life, and she was
beautiful and smart and a million other things that Jensen could never be for
Jared. 
  Jensen turned and ran out of the store unaware of the calculating eyes
following him and the evil smile that graced the watcher's face.  Ten minutes
away from the store, he heard someone calling his name.  He wiped at his eyes,
furiously, not wanting anyone to see him cry, and turned to the wolf.  It was
Genevieve, the very last person he wanted to see right now.  Jensen didn’t
blame her for his inadequacies but that didn't mean he wanted to see her
either.
  'Jensen, honey, I'm sorry you had to see that.'  The smile she wore was
apologetic and the look in her eyes was far kinder than he had ever seen
directed at him by her.  'I know Jared should have told you about us, about the
baby, but...'  Jensen's head shot up at the mention of a baby, oh my God,
Genevieve was pregnant, 'But I begged him not to, not till I'd moved in this
weekend.'  Jensen swayed slightly on the spot, his whole world was crashing
down; Jared must have claimed Genevieve as his Beta if she was pregnant, it was
biological fact that werewolves couldn’t impregnate anyone but their mates,
and…and she was moving into their home, no, Jared's home. 
  God, Jared must have wanted him out already; he must have gone out this
morning to give Jensen time to pack up his stuff so that it wasn't awkward. 
Jensen was so stupid, filled with romantic notions of being with Jared forever,
having Jared's pups, being Jared's Beta.  It was laughable looking at
Genevieve's stunning face.
  'I...I…I've got to go.'  With that, Jensen sped back to Jared's house to pack
his things.  He was gone five minutes after crossing the threshold and across
the Padalecki border in under an hour.
  ****
 
__Chris.__
  Chris watched Jensen literally run off after talking to Genevieve and he knew
that     signalled    nothing good.
  'Genevieve, what were you and Jensen just talking about, he looked a little
freaked when he left?'  Chris asked, he disliked the woman immensely, she had
been trying to get her claws into Jared and claim that position as Head Beta
from day one and she didn’t care who got in her way.
  The smile he received didn't comfort his fears, and only made the knot in his
stomach grow.
  'What?  Me?  Nothing, I was just congratulating him and Jared on becoming
mates, that’s all, they're both very lucky and I'm really happy for them.' 
Chris narrowed his eyes, none of that rang true for Genevieve Cortese who had
been in love with Jared, and his Pack Alpha status, all these years.  He
wondered what she'd really said to the boy to make him run off like that, and
knowing Genevieve like he did, he didn't think it was going to be pretty.  He'd
have to talk to Jared.  A moment later, there was a shout to his left and Misha
came running to his side.
  'Chris, there's been a fire, we need you at the clinic,' he pulled on Chris'
sleeve, 'Come on, man, we need to hurry.'
  The injuries weren't quite as bad as they had been expecting but they were
serious enough to push talking to Jared about Jensen to the back of Chris' mind
for the time being.  Really, how much could possibly happen in a couple of
hours?  Chris got his answer later; a whole hell of a lot when Jensen was
involved.
  ****
__Jared.__
  Jared had been surprised, to say the least, to find himself with an armful of
a, clearly, very distressed Genevieve half way up the dairy aisle.  He wasn't
hugely happy about it but his friend seemed genuinely upset and he'd comfort
her as best as he could.
  'What is it Genevieve?  What's the matter?'  Jared asked, hoping it was an
easy fix so that he could get back to his warm, snuggly mate.
  'It's…it's Mark, he won't leave me alone, he…he was outside my house all
night last night and I couldn't get any sleep at all worrying about it.  He…he
keeps phoning me and sending me letters and I keep asking him to leave me alone
but he…he just won't.  He's everywhere I go, Jay,' he bristled at the nickname
as it reminded him of Jensen waiting at home for him, 'I need you to go and
talk to him for me.  He’ll listen to you.' 
  Jared sighed inwardly, he wanted to get back to Jensen and their bed, like
every other happily mated couple would be able to do in their first few days of
mating, but he was the Head Alpha and if a pack member specifically asked for
his help he had to give it.  Jensen would understand that; they had had this
talk about responsibilities of the Head Alpha and Beta and Jensen had
understood and agreed with all of it, just as Jared had known he would.
  'Alright, Genevieve, let me finish here, give Jen a ring and then I'll be
over okay.'  Genevieve's eyes narrowed for just an instant before her
expression cleared and she nodded.  Jared paid for his purchases and grabbed
his cell.
  'Hey, Jen, I have to go and sort out a problem on Baker Street, I'll be back
in a couple of hours.'  He dropped his voice lower so that not even the
werewolves in the store could hear him, ‘Get comfy in that bed ‘cause once I
get back you aren’t leaving it for the rest of the week.’  Jared put away his
phone, chuckling as he thought of the blush that would rise to Jensen’s cheeks
when he listened to that message.  Jared figured Jensen was still just asleep,
it had been a long night for his Beta.  He most certainly didn’t think Jensen
was crossing his territory’s Eastern border and taking himself out of Jared's
reach forever. 


***** Chapter Twenty-Four. *****
Chapter Notes
     Soundtrack to Chapter Twenty Four: Faith Hill. ‘Come Home.’ The
     name’s pretty self-explanatory; Jared needs Jensen to come home to
     him.
__ Chapter_Twenty-Four.__
__Jared.__
  Two hours later, Jared was sat in Genevieve's front room understandably
confused and more than a little irritated.  Genevieve said that Mark wouldn't
leave her alone, Mark said Genevieve had asked him out and invited him round
last night.  Mark said he wrote no letters, Genevieve said she had burned them
all.  It was like some sort of weird tennis match except there was a point to a
tennis match, but with this, neither of them had anything to gain by lying and
yet their stories detailed completely opposite events.
  'Right, so let me get this straight, Genevieve, you asked Mark out and Mark
you, said yes, and now, you, Genevieve want to break it off and Mark, you,
won't let her?'  Jared tried to sum up the situation for the third time in the
last hour, becoming more frustrated as the minutes ticked by and he still
wasn't tucked up in bed with his Jensen.
  A high, resounding 'Yes' from Genevieve countered a deep, louder 'No' from
Mark.
  'You know what Genevieve, I have no idea what game you're playing with me but
you want out, that's fine with me, I'm done here.'  Mark stood up, looking
angry and confused, and walked out of the house.  And, wow, didn’t that just
make all of this feel like a huge waste of Jared’s time.
  'Oh thank you, Alpha, I feel so much safer now you're here.'  Genevieve put a
hand on his arm stroking it softly.  The gesture was far too intimate for Jared
to be comfortable with so he rose from the couch and distanced himself from the
other wolf.
  'Well, if that's all, I need to be getting back.'  He said moving towards the
door, anticipation and excitement stirring in his belly at the thought of what
awaited him at his house.  He wondered if Jensen had stayed in bed all this
time like Jared had told him to, the very idea had Jared half hard in his
pants.
  'Thank you Jay.'  Genevieve rose on her tip toes and grabbed Jared by the
back of the neck and kissed him.
  Jared pushed her away just as the door banged open to the house.
  'What the hell...'  Jared started as Chris yelled at him, 'What the fuck are
you doing Jared?!'
  'Nothing, I..'  The punch was not unexpected but it still hurt like a
sonovabitch   .
  Jared put his hands up to Chris, trying to     placate him and save himself
from another punch to the face   , and turned to Genevieve, 'You know I'm with
Jensen, Genevieve, you can't do things like that, he's my Beta now.'
  'But he's gone, Jay, he told me he was leaving, that he couldn't take the
pressure of being the Pack's Beta… not for you.'  She answered, as though he
should already know that information which he fucking well didn’t. 
  Jared didn't have the presence of mind to try and find out why Genevieve
thought she knew something about his mate that even he didn’t know, he just
needed to go find Jensen.  He needed to make sure that he was where Jared had
left him, snuggled and warm and waiting for Jared to come back.  Waiting for
Jared to show him how much he loved him. 
  Jared tore from the house, running back to his own.  He changed into his wolf
form cutting down the time it took to get home by half and crashed through his
front door.  Shifting back into his human form and grabbing a pair of sweats,
that were kept by the door in case of emergencies, he ascended the staircase
three steps at a time and threw himself into the master bedroom.
  No Jensen.
  'Jensen!'  He shouted but was met with resounding silence.  Then he noticed
the perfectly made bed, the neat pile of clothes on the chair and the note on
the pillow.  Oh please, God no.  His hand was shaking when he reached out to
pick up the piece of paper.
 
  Jared,
  Thank you so much for everything you've done for me, you'll never know how
much it means to me.  You took me in when I was broken and put me back together
again when I thought there was nothing left.  You saved me.  But you don't owe
me anything, you deserve so much more than a damaged, second rate Beta and
you've found her, I'm so happy for you.  I wish you and your family every
happiness, Jay.
  I love you ,
  Always and forever.
  Jensen.
  'Oh God.'  Jared whispered as he crumbled the note in his hand and pressed it
to his heart.  He fell forwards onto the bed; the sheets still smelled of
Jensen and he breathed in the other man’s scent greedily, wondering what on
Earth had happened. 



***** Chapter Twenty-Five. *****
Chapter Notes
     Soundtrack to Chapter Twenty-Five: Gavin Rossdale. ‘Love Remains The
     Same.’ Jared just wants to be wherever Jensen is; he just needs to
     find him. The distance between them can’t diminish their love.
__ Chapter_Twenty-Five.__
__Jared.__
  Chris came dashing into the bedroom after Jared to find him still on the made
bed with the letter clutched in his hand.
  'Jensen?'  Chris choked out.
  'Gone.  He's gone Chris and I don't even know why.  Everything was perfect
this morning when I left to go to the store and now…he's just gone.  I've
searched for his mind but we haven't been mated long enough for me to get a
clear read on him.  He just feels lost.'  To be honest, that might just have
been Jared tapping into his own feelings of untethered loneliness, he felt
bereft without Jensen, without his Beta by his side.
  'Well that doesn't matter right now, Jared, you need to get up and find him,
we can ask him why the hell he left once we damn well get him back.  And after
I beat his hide for worrying us so much.'  Chris growled at the end.
  Chris was right, what the heck was Jared doing wallowing in self-pity while
his mate was out there somewhere, alone, getting further out of Jared's reach
by the minute.  'You're fucking right, Chris, get me anyone who's on a day off
today and set me up a search party.  I'm gonna go find Misha, tell him what
happened and see if he's got anything that'll help me track down Jensen
faster.'  Chris nodded and sprinted out the door.
  ****
  They meet back at Jared's an hour later.  Misha wasn't there; he was going to
stay and man the clinic in the absence of both Chris and Jensen.  With Chris
came Aldis, Brock, Danneel, Sandy and some of the older wolves of the pack;
Aldis and Danneel were two of the best trackers in his pack and if anyone but
him was going to be able to track down Jensen it would be one of them. 
  'Right, I've brought some of Jensen's clothes so you guys can get his
scent.'  Jared passed round some of the clothes from his laundry bin, thanking
God that he had put off doing the laundry.  He really didn’t like the idea of
the other wolves smelling his mate but if it was a choice between that or never
seeing Jensen again he would just have to put his possessive instincts on a
damn time out for now.
  'The scent should be fresh.  I won't lie, this is gonna be hard, he could
have gone in any direction and he's got at least half a day's jump on us.'  He
didn't add that if Jensen had manage to change into his wolf form he could be
miles away by now, Jensen was a fast runner, Jared had seen it that first
change and had never regretted that fact until then. 
  But Jensen was still having trouble calling the wolf at will, needing to
really concentrate to manage it, so hopefully he had remained in his human form
for the time being.  Also, if Jensen had passed through any of the waterways in
the woods, his scent was going to be greatly diminished. 
  'Right, we’ll meet back here at nightfall, that gives us about six hours to
look for him tonight; you guys find anything, anything, that might be useful,
bring it back to me.'  He looked round at all of them, 'He's out there
somewhere guys and we're going to find him.'  I'm going to find him.
  ****
  Eight hours later, the sun had gone down and nobody had found anything of
Jensen on their first sweep.  Closer to his borders, Jared had picked up traces
of the younger wolf but they had quickly been eaten up by the other scents of
the wilderness.  He sat morosely at his kitchen table, idly pulling on the
jumper that Jensen had worn the day before he had left.  He could already smell
the scent growing fainter, and it broke his heart; it felt like he was losing
Jensen all over again.
  No one had found anything significant.  There had been a few tracks clearly
left by a werewolf of Jensen's size but the trail had run cold before any of
them had found anything else.
  A knock on the door brought Jared out of his reverie and he moved to answer
it.  He would have preferred to have left it but it could be someone with news
of his mate or, God help him for being an optimist, it could be his mate. 
Jared tried to hide the disappointment at seeing Genevieve on his doorstep, but
suspected he failed; he wasn’t really up to trying too hard right now.  She
threw her arms around his neck, rubbing soothingly at his back.
  'How you doing Jay?'  She asked calmly, as though he was suffering from a bad
stomach bug rather than having just lost of the love of his life.
  He wanted to rage at her, how did she think he was doing?  He'd spent his
entire life looking for someone like Jensen, only to find him, claim him and
then lose him all over again.  Jared reigned in his anger though; it wasn't
Genevieve's fault that Jensen had run.
  'I'm not doing so good, I'll be better when I get Jensen back.'  Jared
wouldn’t even consider the possibility that he wouldn’t see Jensen again; he
would spend the rest of his life searching for him if he had too.  Everything
else be damned.
  She sighed and led him over to the couch to sit them both down.  'I don't
think he's coming back, Jared, he told me that he didn't want the
responsibility of being your Beta, that he wanted to be a kid for just a little
longer since he never got the chance before.' 
  The words tore at Jared's heart.  Jared would have waited until Jensen was
older before asking him to     fulfil    his role if it would have made Jensen
feel better.  To be honest, he would have let Jensen be his Beta without
assuming any of the responsibilities that came with that; the bottom line was,
Jared would have done anything for him.  But Genevieve wasn’t done and that
clearly wasn’t the worst way he had failed his Beta.  ‘He said you were too
demanding, and, I can't believe I'm saying this to you, but he said you were
just like Jeff.'
  Jared gasped in total shock.  Did Jensen really think he was like Morgan? 
Had he taken advantage of Jensen in his vulnerable state?  He felt his fisted
hands eased away from his chest and the jumper loosened from his grasp.  Jared
frowned as Genevieve dropped the sweater to the floor and subtly nudged it
under the couch with her foot, 'I know it's hard to take in, Jared, but I just
don't think Jensen was the wolf you thought he was.'
  'What do you mean?'  Jared asked, eyes narrowed at the implication that
Jensen was anything less than utter perfection.
  'Well, it's not really my place to say.'  Like that had ever stopped
Genevieve before, Jared thought meanly, then berated himself for it, no matter
how true the statement was.
  'He was always complaining that you were crowding him, Jay.  I know it's
crazy.  And the day before he got locked in the clinic with Jake,' Jared
shivered at the memory, 'I caught him stealing pills from one of the
examination rooms.'  Genevieve bit her lip.  'I wasn't going to say anything,
it only happened a couple of times, and you were just so smitten with him. 
But, it seems that now you should really know what he was like.'  She placed a
hand on Jared’s knee, 'So you can move on Jay.  He was damaged Jared, he
couldn't have been the Beta for the pack, he didn't deserve yo...
  'I'm damaged Jared.'
  'I don't think I could be the Beta for your whole pack?'
  He’d heard all those words before but from Jensen's mouth.  Had Jensen first
heard them from Genevieve?
  'I can do that for you though, Jay, I've trained to be your Beta my whole
life, I'm ready, and I love you more than anything.  I can be your Beta,
someone who you and the pack can really be proud of.’
  'But...but Genevieve, she's trained to be your Beta,'
  'Genevieve, she loves you and she's really beautiful.  She'll make you and
the pack proud Jay.'
  Understanding dawned on him and he couldn't believe he'd been so blind. 
Jared ground his teeth together as anger coursed hotly through his veins.
  'How did you know Jensen had been locked in the clinic, Genevieve?'  Jared
said with a deadly calm that threatened all kinds of violence.  None of them
had revealed any of the details of the attack; he hadn't wanted anyone to know
Jensen's business.
  Genevieve was clearly caught off guard by the question, considering she'd
just offered herself up as his Beta and expecting to be accepted immediately in
Jared’s time of distress, 'I...I…Jensen told me.' 
  'Really?  I can't really imagine that, Genevieve; Jensen hardly talks about
that day ever and you're telling me that my shy Beta, who hates any kind of
attention, simply came out and told you all about it.'  The mocking disbelief
in his voice would have put any Beta on edge, but not Genevieve, she simply sat
next to him, as cool and collected as always.
  'No, not everything, he was just venting I guess.'  Genevieve then,
foolishly, tried to get the conversation back to where it had been moments ago.
 'What do you think about my.....'
  'Did you tell Jensen all those things you thought about you being my Beta
instead of him?'  Jared shot off another question, his suspicions about his old
friend’s part in Jensen’s ever present insecurities and finally his departure
rising along with his anger.
  'What.  No?  Of course not.'  Came the vehement reply.  Far too quickly to
have been the truth.
  'Because every word that came out of your mouth just now has come out of
Jensen's more than once.'
  'Well then he obviously agreed with me then didn't he?'  Genevieve replied
serenely, as though that were the obvious conclusion to come to, rather than
her planting the seeds of doubt in his Beta’s mind herself.
  Jared's bitter laughter filled the room, 'How could I have been so blind,
Genevieve? How could you do this?  Not just to Jensen but to me.  I should have
known. Jensen didn't really think I was anything like Morgan, did he?  And
taking pills from the clinic, don't you think Misha and Chris might have
noticed and told me about that?  How could you do this?!'  Jared’s voice
gradually got louder as he fired questions at the Beta sitting beside him,
ignoring the slight look of panic on her face at having been found out.
  'I don't...I don't understand.  What are you taking about?'  She tried, but
Jared had heard enough to know what she was and what she had done.  He would
deal with her once he had found his Beta and brought him home where he
belonged.
  Jared's front door burst open and Chris came tumbling in, 'Jay, I've just
spoken to Richard from the grocery store and he told me everything Genevieve
told Jensen before he left.  She told him that she was moving in with you as
your Beta and that…that she was pregnant.'  Chris finished, glaring at the Beta
sitting uncomfortably on Jared’s couch.
  Jared gasped and took a step away from the female werewolf, 'Oh my God, you
told him I'd claimed you?  You bitch, you knew what that would do to him.' 
  'Yes, I did, he didn't deserve you Jared.’  She shouted back, for the first
time discarding all the     pretence    and allowing her true self and motives
to come forth.  And God, had she always been this rotten inside?  ‘I've waited
for you my whole fucking life, I deserve to be your Beta, Jared, not that
little, broken whore who was scared of his own damn shadow.' 
  Genevieve stamped her booted foot, 'This is my place, Jared, by your side,
like it's always been.  Jensen was just in the way, I know you felt sorry for
him and that's just because you are so kind hearted, but he's gone now and we
can be together.'
  'You thought he was in the way, Jesus, Genevieve?  He's the love of my
goddamn life.  You're nothing compared to him.  And even if I never get him
back,’ he carried on despite the painful lurch his heart made as he said that-
that was never going to happen, never, ‘There is no way in Hell that you will
ever be my Beta.  Now get the fuck out of my house before I throw you though
the door myself.’
  'Jay?'  She tried desperately, the look on her fact showed that she clearly
didn’t understand how her little scheme could possibly have gone wrong.
  'GOOO!'  He bellowed and he was sure that every wolf in his territory heard
it.


***** Chapter Twenty-Six. *****
Chapter Notes
     Soundtrack to Chapter Twenty-Six: Lykke Li- ‘Possibility.’ Jensen
     thinks back to his time with Jared, now that it’s over, and considers
     maybe that’s all the happiness he’s going to get him in life. He's
     left his heart back with Jared and he’ll never get to feel that way
     again.
__ Chapter_Twenty-Six.__
__Jensen.__
  Jensen wandered through the woods, feeling safe in the knowledge that he was
far enough away from Jared's territory not to cause them any more trouble.  He
felt like his heart had been ripped in two, though, and he'd left half of it
back at Jared's house.  Jensen had never felt like that, not even after his
parents died, not even after Tom was killed and his whole world had fallen
apart; he just felt so empty and so alone. 
  He had never been more frightened in his entire life. 
  What if he couldn't live without Jared?  He didn't know an awful lot about
mate dynamics, but what happened if a Beta was claimed and then discarded as he
had been?  Could he find another Alpha?  But then he supposed that didn't
really matter since he didn't want another Alpha if he couldn't have Jared, and
he couldn't have him.  Jared was taken; he had a beautiful Beta and he was
going to have a load of gorgeous puppies.  Jensen smiled, despite his own
melancholy that those puppies wouldn’t be his and Jared’s but Jared’s and
Genevieve’s.  At least Jared would be happy, and the pack would have a proper
Beta rather than Jensen desperately trying, and more likely than not failing,
to live up to something he wasn't.
  Jensen shook his head trying to rid his mind of thoughts of Jared.  Like that
was ever possible.  He was hungry and needed to hunt.  This he could do; he'd
done this for Tom's Pack when he was younger and he soon found that it was a
skill that he had maintained even through his years under Morgan's paw.  Jensen
sniffed the air and smelt a deer and quick as a shot he was off after it, fast
even in his human form.  It sensed him coming though, he had never been very
good at making a stealthy approach, but since he was quick and agile, even
without his enhanced wolf features, he was able to take the deer down in a
matter of moments.
  Jensen built a small and hasty fire to cook the meat; despite being a
werewolf, uncooked meat had never really appealed to him.  He ate his fill,
then packed up the rest in his backpack for later, leaving the remainder of the
carcass to the scavengers in the woods.  He wouldn't hunt again for a few days,
it took too much time and attracted predators that he didn't want to be dealing
with, so the little meat he had salvaged would have to last him till he decided
it was safe again.  Hell, he had spent four years pretty much starving whilst
he had lived with Jeff, he could go a couple of weeks until he found himself
somewhere new to call home.
  He ignored the small voice in his head that told him he’d never find that
place because the only place he wanted to call home was miles and miles behind
him now.
  Jensen was still trying to decide his next move; he hadn’t been on his own
since he was a young pup and he was having a hard time making the right
decisions.  First, he needed to decide whether he wanted to go it alone or try
to find another pack.  The latter thought scared him; he'd experienced both
ends of the spectrum when it came to pack life and he really didn't want to be
a part of a pack like Morgan's ever again.  Yet the endless loneliness and
solitude that the wilderness offered scared him too but, at least, he knew he
could trust himself; other werewolves were an unknown quantity and that thought
did not sit well in his gut.
  Decision made; he decided he would continue on alone for a little while and
find somewhere small and warm to stay and lick his wounds, and maybe try to
learn to live with the gaping hole in his heart.
  ****
  Something woke Jensen up in the middle of his fourth night in the cave he had
found.  It was warm and dry and Jensen had easily been able to make a fire, now
that he was out of the biting wind blowing outside, and use the few blankets
he'd brought with him to fashion a small bed for himself.  He didn't know what
had awoken him but after years spent as a captive he was a light sleeper,
waking at any movement around him; unless he was near Jared, of course, when he
slept like the dead knowing he was completely safe and protected. 
  He blinked his eyes open, trying to get them to adjust to the darkness.  They
grew wide when he smelt a scent he hadn't encountered in months.  Jeff.
  'Hi there, Sweetheart, Jared get tired of you already, huh?'  Jensen couldn't
help the shamed blush that graced his cheeks at that but he stood up in front
of Jeff defiantly, nonetheless.  There was no one else to threaten here, no one
Jensen had to protect, he could fight Jeff this time, even if it meant his
death.  He wouldn't go back to the way things had been before, he couldn't.
  'What do you want Jeff?'  Jensen said, the words feeling a little strange in
his mouth.
  Jeff blinked in surprise, 'What happened to Alpha?  I taught you better than
that Jensen.  Are we really going to have to start from scratch, because as
much as those early days were bucketsof fun for me, I'm pretty sure they
weren't all that great for you?'  Jeff phrased it like a question, as if
Jensen's cries in those first few months hadn't been enough to show the pain
he'd suffered at the man’s hands.  Jensen still shuddered at the memory.
  'You're not my Alpha, Jeff, and you never were.'  They both knew it, but
neither had said it aloud before; it felt liberating for Jensen to voice the
truth for once.
  'Oh really?  Who is then?  Jared?  Because Jared's not here, darlin', and
from what Jake's told me, he's found himself another pretty little Beta to
shack up with now, leaving you out in the cold.'  The words sliced through all
of Jensen's guards, making him shake a little.  It was obviously already news
that the Padalecki Pack had a new Pack Beta and that hurt more than Jensen
could say, even though he'd already accepted the knowledge that he wasn't good
enough, this made everything so final in a way that it just hadn't been
before.  Then the other bit of information hit him.  'Jake?'
  'Hey, there Pretty, you miss me?'  The voice of his other tormentor echoed
off the walls of the cave.
  Jensen backed up into the nearest wall as the other werewolf entered the
cave.  Two wolves against one was never going to be a fair fight, but two
highly skilled and trained Alphas against a very rusty Beta was pretty much a
lost cause.  Jensen would fight though; he had nothing left to live for now
anyway, since he had lost Jared, so if he was going down he would, at least,
try and take one of them with him.  He'd make them pay for what they’d done to
him and every other wolf they had hurt before he died. 
  'No, I'm not going back to that.'  He charged at Jeff, his shoulder hitting
the older man in the stomach causing him to double over and hiss in pain. 
Jensen straightened up again and smacked Jeff in the nose with the back of his
head forcing a pained grunt from the man.  Jensen smiled at that, a grim
satisfaction spreading through him at the thought of hurting the man who had
hurt so many people Jensen loved. 
  Jake looked on, slack jawed, until the crack of Jeff's nose breaking on the
back of Jensen’s head drew him out of his reverie.
  'You little bitch.'  He said rushing at Jensen.  Jensen sprang away and
shifted mid jump to land on all fours.  Jensen wasn’t sure who was more
surprised that he’d actually managed to shift without the moon, himself or his
opponents, but he supposed if there was ever a stressful situation which might
force his wolf out this was pretty much it.
  'Well look at that.'  Jeff mocked. 'The kitty’s still got claws after all. 
Did Jay teach you that trick?  I was sure I'd managed to train that out of
you.'  Both the Alphas shifted too causing Jensen took a step back; they were
both larger than he was and better trained to fight in their lupine forms. 
Jensen, well, Jensen was still getting used to his wolf body again but he
didn't shift back; he was still faster, larger and more resilient as a wolf
than as a human.
  The Alphas jumped at him at the same time, one from each side, and Jensen
yelped when he felt teeth pierce his shoulder blade and a sharp claw rake down
his back.  He gnashed widely at the other wolves, trying to get in a bite
whilst they were still close but they danced away before he manage to could
sink his teeth into anything. 
  Jensen shook his head against the pain in his shoulder, hell he'd endured
much so worse than this, he just needed to focus.  Jensen moved to fight Jake;
he feigned an attack to Jake's open left flank and then charged at the right at
the very last moment, landing a deep bite on Jake's right flank causing the
bigger wolf to howl in pain.  But Jensen didn't let go quickly enough and Jake
fixed him in an iron-strong head lock whilst Jensen felt sharp claws digging
into his back and pushing him to the floor. 
  Jensen snarled and struggled when he felt Jeff place both his paws on the top
of his back and scrape his claws all the way down Jensen's spine.  He was
losing, he could feel the blood rushing from his wounds and he was getting
dizzy.  Jensen relaxed his neck muscles and managed to roll away from Jake's
hold, slowly, causing the pain in his back to flare excruciatingly.  Jensen
stood back up on all fours, limping slightly from the bite on his shoulder to
look at the wolves before him. 
  Jeff shifted back to his human form, clearly, so he could talk to Jensen; the
man's words were almost as dangerous as his claws, they were like poison and
Jensen had felt their bitter bite before.  Jake stayed in wolf form waiting for
Jensen to run or maybe launch another attack. 
  ‘Come on Jensen, it's over, you can barely stand.  I'll give you a little
credit, here, you did good, now let's stop this silliness and make up.'  He
reached out his hand to stroke Jensen's muzzle but Jensen sunk his teeth into
it, fully intending to rip the man's arm off if he dared to try and touch him
again. 
  Jeff shifted again as soon as Jensen’s teeth found flesh and Jensen found
himself thrown against the wall of the cave.  He felt his ribs crack on impact
and pain vibrated down his whole body.  Jensen tried to get up from where he'd
fallen, he needed to be ready for the next attack.  He fell back to the floor,
though, his legs unable to hold him up and he felt his vision rapidly dimming. 
  Jensen heard huffing sounds from the two other werewolves and knew, from past
experience, that they were laughing at him, at his weak and futile attempts to
protect himself. 


***** Chapter Twenty-Seven. *****
Chapter Notes
     Soundtrack to Chapter Twenty-Seven: Avril Lavigne- ‘Keep Holding On.’
     This song pretty much describes from when Jared first hears Jensen’s
     cry to getting him back to the clinic. Jensen just needs to hold on
     until Jared makes it there to save him and after he gets stabbed,
     Jared begs him not to let go and come back to him.
 _ Chapter_Twenty-Seven._
 _Jared_
  It had been a week since Jensen had disappeared and Jared was frantically
pacing his kitchen trying to plan his next move.  He'd sent wolves out to the
closest packs, the ones he was on familiar terms with anyway, to see if Jensen
had asked to join any of them or if they'd seen any strange wolves come their
way in the past week.  Four of the five wolves he had sent had already come
back and answered in the negative. 
  ****
  Laura, his last messenger, came back two days later with a message for Jared
from the Pileggi Pack saying that they had seen two foreign werewolves hunting
together near the edge of their territory.  They hadn't passed close enough to
threaten the pack's safety so Mitch hadn't approached them but he had felt
Jared should know, and hoped that it would aid him in his search for Jensen.
  Jared had nothing else to go on, and those wolves might live in the forest in
the neutral zones and might have run into Jensen.  Therefore, he ordered Chad
to remain behind to look after the pack whilst Jared set off for the Pileggi
lands.
  ****
  Jared heard a high, pained cry as he neared the Pileggi Territory and he knew
instantly whom had made it.  Jensen.  He quickened his pain; his lupine limbs
working triple time to take him to the noises of distress coming from his
Beta.  Jared came to an abrupt stop at the opening of a small cave, set far
back from the woods, and shifted back to his human form; he had smelt blood,
freshly spilled.  It was Jensen's blood, and it was everywhere.  He saw Morgan,
the bastard, approaching a smaller wolf who was drawn up tightly in a ball in
the corner. 
  'Get the fuck away from him, Morgan.  I let you live, once, I won't make that
mistake again.'  Jared growled, letting his years as Head Alpha colour his
voice with confidence.
  'Jay, you really need to learn to stop sticking your snout into things that
don't concern you.  It'll get you into trouble one day.'  Morgan replied
smoothly, not even turning round to look at him just continuing his advance on
Jensen.
  Jared saw red, Jensen was his mate, his Beta, everything about him concerned
Jared.  He shifted again and went for Morgan's throat, intent on ripping it out
this time.  Morgan shifted, too, and snapped his jaws back at him.  Morgan was
good, a well seasoned fighter, but Jared was still the larger and younger of
the two, and Morgan had clearly not faired well in his time in the woods,
alone, without the comforts and ease of pack life.
  Jared smirked, internally, as he began to notice signs that the older wolf
was tiring long before he, himself, had even begunto feel the strain of their
battle.  Jared could finally see the opportunity arising to rid Morgan from all
their lives and Jensen's nightmares; he just had to wait for the moment the
wolf's guard slipped and he knew that would be soon. 
  Suddenly, then he see it the opening he'd been waiting for; Morgan flashed a
glance towards the forest, distracted by something, and Jared pounced.  He
closed his jaws around Morgan's neck and tore the flesh away.  The body
convulsed for an instant and Jared felt the blood paint his muzzle red as it
gushed from the older wolf's body.  A second later, Jared dropped the dead body
to the floor.  It was over, it was finally over.
  A harsh cry from the back of the cave caused him to whirl around.  'NOOO!' 
He caught Jensen as the man stumbled into him, a knife lodged deep in his back.
  'What the…?  Jensen, baby, what happened?'  Jared gasped out; he didn't know
what to do, remove the knife?  Leave it in?  Jared looked up and saw another
man standing in the cave entrance staring daggers at him and Jensen. 
  'That was meant for you, Alpha, but I suppose this,'  he waved a hand at
Jensen, 'will kill just as suredly as if I'd stabbed you with that knife.' 
Jared looked down in horror, realisation dawning; Jensen had saved him, even
after he thought Jared had discarded him for someone else. 
  Jared looked up again at the cave entrance, when he heard a low growl that he
recogised.  He saw Chris for a second just before the man ended Jake's life,
much like he'd promised he would do all those weeks ago. 
  'Jay? Jay? Why...why are you here? You aren't...aren't supposed to be here?' 
Jensen panted out, in small painful breaths.  The genuine confusion in his
mate's quiet voice broke his heart.
  'Where else would I be, Love?'  Jared said softly, stroking down the side of
Jensen’s beautiful face.  Jared pulled the man to his chest, almost into his
lap, and he could feel the blood coating his shaking hands as he held Jensen
close.  Jared placed a hand over the younger wolf's heart and could feel the
erratic beat beneath his palm.  Oh God, please don’t take him from me now,
please.
  'I don't...?  Your Beta, she's…she's...you're going to be a father, Jared.' 
Jensen's voice was faint, barely above a hoarse whisper and Jared doubted he
would have been able to hear it if hadn't had the Beta's face pressed so close
into his neck.
  'I'm with my Beta.  You are my Beta, Jensen; Genevieve lied, she isn't having
my pups and she never will.  I'm sorry she made you think otherwise.  I chose
you, I will always choose you.'
  'Really?'  Jensen pulled back for a moment to look into Jared's eyes; the
weak smile on Jensen's pale face was a poor substitute for the man's usual
bright one yet, in that moment, it was still the most wonderous thing Jared
thought he'd ever seen.
  Really.'
  'That's nice...'  Jensen mumbled before he passed out in Jared's arms.
  ****
  'Jared, he looks bad, Jay, I'm not sure he's gonna make...'  Jared was
getting them dressed quickly, in order to return to the pack, in the clothes
Chris had brought with him.  He pulled a pair of sweats up Jensen's legs to
keep him warm when he was done.
  'Don't say it, God, just don't.  Chris, do what you can for him here, then I
can get him back to the clinic.  He’s going to be fine.'  Chris nodded shakily,
quickly grabbing his supplies and kneeling down next to the unconscious wolf
assessing his injuries. 
  'I need to get this knife out, I don't want it shifting and maybe piercing
his heart when we carry him back but it's going to bleed like a sonovabitch so
get ready to press down as hard as you can when I take it out.'  Chris’ hand
went to the hilt of the knife and then he pulled it back, cursing, when it
touched his skin.  'Fuck, Jay, that's silver.  Those fucking bastards.  Jesus,
I have no idea what kind of damage that's going to have done.'  He grasped the
bottom of his shirt and wrapped it around his hand and then pulled out the
knife. 
  The pained whimper hit them both hard and Chris threw the knife to the back
of the cave.  Jared pressed down hard on the wound trying to staunch the blood
flow.  It wasn't as bad as Chris had expected it to be due to the silver
burning Jensen's skin and almost cauterizing the wound but it looked deep.  Too
deep, a small voice in Jared's head dared to whisper before he could stop it. 
  Chris went to work, quickly stitching some of the larger, deeper cuts on
Jensen’s body, to help stop the bleeding on the journey back, and disinfecting
the wounds as he went.  Jensen lay limp in Jared's arms the whole time, his
uneven breathing shallow and rapid. 
  Finally Chris sat back, 'That's all I can do here, I haven't got the supplies
to do anything about the damage that knife has done, I'll have to do that back
at the clinic, if he...'  He looked up at Jared when the man snarled at him,
'When we get back.'
  Jared knew what his friend was going to say ‘if he makes it’before he stopped
himself.  Well, to Jared, there was no other option; Jensen was goingto make
it.  He hadn't found Jensen just to lose him all over again, especially not to
a bastard like Abel and especially not because of him.
  'Okay, let's move.'  Jared stood up and lifted Jensen's smaller body into his
arms.  The two wolves immediately began to run back to the pack, Jared wishing
with every minute that passed that Chris had brought his truck with him. 
  ****
  Finally, they made it back to the borders and Jared ran to the clinic,
kicking open the doors.  He carried Jensen into one of the operating rooms.
  'Jesus Christ, Jay, what the hell happened?'  Misha asked, shocked, as he
took in Jensen's pale, shivering form as it was laid down on the bed.
  'Morgan, Abel.'  Jared was breathing hard, he'd sprinted the whole way back
and while he was young and fit, doing that in human form with his mate in his
arms was a whole new experience for him.  'I'll explain later but right now you
need to help him Misha, I can't lose him, I won't.' 
  'Alright, Alpha, but you need to leave so Chris and I can work.’  Misha
pushed him gently towards the door of the room, and away from Jensen.
  'Like hell I'm ever leaving him alone again.'  He stood steady, looking Misha
rebelliously in the eye, daring the smaller man to challenge him.
  'Jay, you need to go.'  Jared felt Chris touch his arm and turn him round,
'You know I won't let anything happen to him, you can be right outside if I
need to come get you,'…if he's about to die, if we’re about to lose him. 
  Chris didn't say it, but Jared heard it anyway, and that drained the fight
right out of him, leaving only despair and desperation in its place.  He
nodded, realising that he'd only be in the way if he stayed and that they were
losing precious minutes whilst he stood and argued about it.
  'I'll be right outside,’ Jared walked up to Jensen, pushed the sweaty hair
from his forehead and kissed it.  'Be safe, baby, and please come back to me,'
he whispered before reluctantly leaving the room.


***** Chapter Twenty-Eight. *****
Chapter Notes
     Soundtrack to Chapter Twenty-Eight: Etta James- ‘At Last.’ I think
     this song is kind of perfect to end my story with since Jensen and
     Jared have been through so much to find each other: ‘And here we are
     in Heaven for you are mine, at last.’
 _ Chapter_Twenty-Eight.

   _Jared._
  Five hours later and Chris emerged, blood staining his scrubs and a tentative
smile on his face.  'I think he's going be okay, Jay.  The knife had punctured
a lung but we went in and fixed that, all of his other wounds are sutured and
the burns treated.  He's got a broken wrist which we've put in a cast and we’ve
wrapped his broken ribs so it won’t hurt as much when he breathes.  The blood
loss was really the most worrying thing but we gave him a few bags so that
should see him right.
  'The full moon'll next week will help him heal, I wouldn't recommend he
change before that, though, it might pull some of his stitches out, give him a
little time to heal the human way first, then we can let his wolf do the
rest.' 
  Jared pulled his best friend into a bone crushing hug; the man had saved his
mate's life and Jared would never be able to repay him.
  'Thank you Chris, I don't know how to...just thank you.'  Chris smiled
slightly and nodded. 
  'You can go in and see him now, he's resting in exam room three.'  Jared
nodded and walked off to find his mate.
  Jensen still looked pale, even more so against the bright white of the
sheets, and Jared sat in the chair by his bedside.  'Hey baby, what am I gonna
do with you, huh?  Going to turn me prematurely grey with all this nearly dying
business.  Why'd you have to go and do that, why?'  He buried his face in
Jensen's neck, feeling the tears welling in his eyes.
  'Because I love you.'  Came the croaky, unexpected reply from the man in the
bed.
  'Oh God, Jen, you don't know how good it is to hear your voice.'  Jared cried
out, gently squeezing the man on the bed.
  'Alpha, I'm...I'm so sorry I left but Genevieve said she was moving in and
having your puppies; I thought you'd claimed her and if you'd claimed her
then...then you couldn’t really have claimed me.  I'm sorry, but it all sounded
so logical at the time, she's so perfect for you and I never really understood
why...'
  'Stop, Jensen, pleasedo not finish that sentence.  I shouldn't have left you
that morning, I'm sorry.  But you are my Beta, my one and only, and believe me,
you are more perfect than you can possibly imagine.  I love you, I will
alwayslove you.  I'm going to take you back to our house when Misha releases
you and show you just how much.'  He stroked Jensen's arm softly as he spoke
and smiled at the shivers that ran down Jensen's body from the contact.
  'My Alpha.'  Jensen nuzzled closer into Jared's neck.
  'Always and forever, baby.  Always and forever.'
  ****
  A week later, Misha visited the house.  Jensen had been recovering well and
they were gearing up for the change the next night to hopefully fully heal the
rest of his wounds.   Jensen was still asleep when Misha knocked and Jared led
the other man into the kitchen for some coffee.
  'So, here to check on the patient?'  Jared smiled at his friend; Misha and
Chris had been great, coming out to check on Jensen every time Jared had made a
panicked and paranoid call about him.  Jensen had always been fine but neither
of them had complained, they'd just smiled fondly at him and left again.
  'Yes and no, Jay.'  Misha replied cryptically.
  Jared frowned. 'Is something wrong?'  His worry amped up for the wolf
upstairs in his bed.
  'No, I don't think so but I have some news that I wanted to share with you
before I shared it with Jensen.'  Jared nodded, bracing himself as news about
Jensen was so often not good, and waited for Misha to continue.  'We took some
blood to check for infection when Jensen was at the hospital and we discovered
something.'
  'Oh God, is he sick Meesh?  Tell me what I can do!'  Jared asked his friend
frantically, making to get up from the table and rush to Jensen's side.
  Misha smiled and shook his head, 'No, he's not sick, Jared.  He's pregnant,
you're going to be a daddy, Jay.'  Jared eyes widened, and he looked up in the
direction of his room. He was going to be a father.  Tears blurred his vision
and he brought a hand to his mouth.  'You alright there, Alpha?'  Misha beamed
at him.  Jared got up and pulled the other man up into a hug.
  'Christ, thank you Misha, thank you.'  He whispered in Misha’s ear.
  They were interrupted by the sound of retching from upstairs.  Misha quirked
an eyebrow at Jared, 'Well, at least you know he's not sick.'  Jared grinned at
his old friend, happier than he could ever remember being in his entire life.
  'Well, I gotta go and help Jen out, Misha, thanks for the news, I'll bring
Jensen over to the clinic after the Moon to get him checked out.'
  'You go do that, Jay. Congratulations, we're all really happy for you and
Jensen.  That boy deserves to be happy and you're the one to do it, Alpha.' 
Misha nodded to him and left.
  Jared leapt up the stairs to his mate.  He knelt down next to Jensen in the
bathroom. 
  'I don't feel so good, Jay.'  Jensen rasped out, his head resting on his
forearm on the toilet seat.
  'I know, baby, you done?'  Jensen nodded weakly, 'Let’s get you back to bed
then.'  He lifted his Beta into his arms and walked him over to the bed.
  'I could've walked, you know.'  Jensen snarked, but he still snuffled closer
into Jared’s chest.
  'I know.'
  Jensen shook his head, in exasperation, as Jared laid him back down on the
bed.
  'I've got some news, Jen.'  Jensen looked at him with sleepy eyes, looking
undeniably gorgeous, 'You're pregnant.'  Jensen's eyes widened almost
comically.
  'Really?'
  'Yep, you've got my pups in there.'  Jared let his hand fall gently onto
Jensen's stomach, stroking this thumb across the warm skin.
  Jensen's hand fell over his but he didn't say anything, just lay staring at
their joined hands.  'Jen?'  Jared said worriedly, maybe it was too much too
soon for him, he'd certainly been through a lot lately.  'You want this right?'
  Jensen looked up at him then, his bright green eyes filled with tears, 'Oh
God, yes Jay, I want this more than anything.'  He kissed Jared hard on the
mouth and climbed into the larger man's lap. 
  Jared was surprised by the move but his body was pretty damn happy about it
if the instant tightness of his jeans was anything to go by and he wrapped his
arms around Jensen's back to keep him from falling.  'Fill me up, Alpha, I
wanna feel you, please.'  Jensen whispered in his ear.
  Jared didn't need to be told twice, it had been way too long since he'd been
inside his Beta and he stood in a instant, lifting Jensen with him as Jensen
wrapped his legs around Jared’s waist and clung to him with his arms around
Jared's shoulders.
  Jared managed to get his jeans and boxers down to the middle of his thighs
whilst pulling Jensen sweats down and off.  He sat back down on the bed and
picked Jensen up and dropped him down on his hard cock, Jensen’s natural
lubricant easing the way completely. 
  Jensen breath hitched as he was abruptly filled, 'Oh God, yes.'  He whispered
into Jared's ear.
  'Come on, Beta, lift yourself up, show me how much you want it.'  Jensen
lifted himself up onto his knees and slammed himself back down causing them
both to groan at the sensation.  Jensen watched as Jensen gracefully rode his
lap, up and down, his head thrown back and his eyes closed, his thighs
straining to lift himself up almost completely off of Jared before dropping
back down into Jared’s lap.  It was fucking     mesmerizing    to watch.
  Though, soon, Jared couldn’t hold himself still any longer and began
thrusting up into Jensen’s warm willing body.  He grabbed hold of Jensen’s hips
and as he thrust upwards he pulled Jensen down impaling the younger man on his
cock over and over again until Jensen was a writhing mess above him, looking
completely desperate and so goddamn sexy that Jared thought he might just die
from this. 
  But what a way to go. 
  Jared growled and grabbed his Beta around the waist and flipped him onto his
back on the bed and thrust hard into his mate's willing body, watching the
smaller man arch and mewl every time he slammed home.  Jared set up a punishing
rhythm as Jensen gasped and grabbed at his shoulders trying to find purchase on
anything he could.  Jared grabbed Jensen’s hands and placed them on the
headboard encouraging the smaller man to curl his fingers around the wood and
hold on. 
  Jared smiled as he felt the wolf grip the wood tight and hold his hands there
once Jared had taken his own away.  Jared wrapped his hand around Jensen's cock
as he felt his knot catch at Jensen’s rim and pumped it hard and fast in time
with his thrusts.  Finally, Jensen came with a cry as Jared's knot lodged in
his ass, nudging against his prostate. 
  The sight of his mate falling apart sent Jared over the edge and he kissed
Jensen deeply as he rode out his own orgasm.  They parted, panting for breath.
  'You're perfect.'  Jared murmured against Jensen's lips.
  And Jensen just whispered back.  'Only for you.' 
 
  THE END.


Thanks so much for reading.  xx



Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!
